- Updates from the Islands -

- - Tortola & Virgin Gorda (BVI) - -

| home | tools | pleas for help | QHWRN | guide | climatology | archive

For the most recent reports from the BVI see this page.

- - - 2007 Hurricane Season - - -

- Small Craft Advisory
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 5 Jan 2008 08:03:27 EST
Scattered showers, isolated thunderstorms, patches of broken and overcast clouds are the norm for the weekend with high surf and northerly swells, creating rip currents, so be careful if you are swimming off the North beaches. Always swim with a buddy. That way you aren't lonesome when you get in trouble.
 
Small craft advisory for the weekend. So, be careful if you are out and about messing about in boats this weekend. I know we have loads of tourist traffic as the docks are nearly empty.
 
By the way a small craft advisory is generally boats under 65 feet in length. An old salt once told me any vessel you could spit from windward to leeward across the beam, hitting the ocean, was a small craft. Naturally this led to much spitting by the crew and passengers on a windy day.
 
There was a time when I worked nonstop on a tall ship for a year that called on the St John anchorages, 3 times a week.  When I was ashore doing business I had to wear the ship's white uniform with epaulets, but when off duty, we were instructed NOT to wear our uniforms ashore. The captain didn't want to hear about any drunken antics from crew members, so he rationalized  that if we didn't wear our uniforms off-duty, then he was less likely to hear of our shenanigans.
 
Even if he did hear of our wild exploits, he would usually laugh it all off(he could be pretty bizarre out of his uniform too...)
 
Since mermaids can't wear shorts, I wore sarongs, when I was out of uniform. It was all I owned at the time, that and some bikinis and undies. Grateful passengers from time to time blessed me with more sarongs and if I found an especially exotic one, I was sure to buy it.
 
Sometimes I wanted a break from the crew and passengers. I would find out where the live entertainment was that evening and give the guests a heavy handed talking to about what a great time they would have at certain select places. If anyone asked me what places to avoid, I would tell them the such and such bar, don't go there.
 
That was because it was the bar I WAS GOING TO...  So when I was  there, people began calling me the sarong lady.  They thought I lived somewhere on St John, since I popped up often enough.  I never mentioned work, but if someone asked, I was often vague or just shrugged my shoulders and said "a boat".   I also noticed that these very same people I partied with NEVER recognized me when I was all dolled up in my fancy ship white's on the streets, walking hither and yonder, clearing customs, checking mail, shopping for the ship, checking on entertainment offerings for the passengers and so on. I never stopped to have a drink in my whites, because it wasn't proper.
 
There was a place I stopped in to have iced tea if I was thirsty, or waiting on the launch to return me to the ship. I remember having iced tea in my uniform whites at this table of locals at JJ's.  There was no room at the bar and someone offered me a seat at this round table outside, after fussing over cleaning the chair for me before I sat in my whites.
 
L had my iced tea, caught the launch to the ship, had dinner, threw on a silk sarong and went ashore to hang out on break.  I ran into the exact same local people at the other  funny little bar I chose to hide, (away from crew and guests) and they greeted me warmly as the sarong lady and acted like they hadn't seen me 3 hours earlier in ship white's at the other place.
 
They thought we were two different people.  So funny!  So I kept that charade up quite awhile before anyone figured it out.
 
Months go by and one day I had done my usual iced tea at JJ's in my whites and later was at my hidy hole having a rum in my sarong. A carpenter sat at the bar next to me and said "Did you know, there is a lady that works on a ship that stops by here once a week, and she looks just like you? Except she always has her hair in braids and yours is always long. Next time I see her, I am going to tell her she looks just like the sarong lady. I swear, you two could be sisters!"
 
We had a great laugh, and I didn't tell him we were one and the same.
 
Let 'em wonder.
 
 
We Be Limin' Mon...
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com






Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

- Sunny Days, Wild Seas
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 4 Jan 2008 08:56:40 EST
 High surf advisory is in effect for all northerly beaches, beware of rip currents. A small craft advisory goes into effect at 2pm today. Define small please...tee hee hee, suffice it to say, seas will be rough.
 
Confused and hazardous sea conditions will persist for the next few days.  The dare devil surfers will no doubt be happy.
 
Mad Moose Max aka Bullwinkle, sends this note in an oat oak barrel that washed up this morning:
Look at the mid Atlantic. See the weather making a U turn to the left? It originated in S. America and is now turning around looking like it wants to come back? That or it is going to be a very interesting Low Pressure area????
 
Whoa ... Moose AKA Max  
 
(Hey MOOSE?  um that looks like a FISH, not a moose...maybe he has idenity crisis?)
 
 
Heck at 34% off, you can't go wrong. 

Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com





Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

- Spectacular
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 3 Jan 2008 08:27:31 EST
Just another spectacular day in paradise. The morning brought on this frighfully dark big cloud, that passed over us with the gentlest of rains, as if mother nature was afriad of hurting the delicate flowers.
 
The Sir Francis Drake Channel looks flat from where I be, but the winds are moderate and I see sailboats gliding effortlessly across the big pond.  I hear the North shore is kicking up with swells. That tiny little storm with the gale force winds is still out there, but planning to be swallowed by the cold front, so hopefully it won't affect us, I just pray there isn't some hapless sailor out there in the thick of it.
 
The BVI is having massive Internet problems, so what else is new. Many complain they can't get on the Internet, while others say it is terribly slow. My Internet is intermittent as well.  So it won't be a good day for emails or cyber world.
 
Rumors abound that the elec-tricky problems are going to be solved this year (they've said that for 25+ years now).  Iraq has better elec-tricky than we do.
Warning: Mermaid with an attitude Apron
 
My New Year has started out a bit rough, my heap of a jeep was vandalized and getting it fixed and running again has set me back a chunk of change. I am saddened that we have crooks here. I would have liked to have caught the thief and twacked his/her fingers with a hefty tire iron while driving over his/her toes and bashing his/her head in. (Gee, does that sound evil or what?)
 
I miss the good old days when thieves were floaters, cast out to sea and float tested with a few rocks.  But enough of the bad stuff,  my new place came with a lovely lime tree and the key limes are the sweetest I have ever had. Now I find myself going through buckets of iced tea, just so I can taste that sweet lime juice. My kitchen is littered with baskets of limes, friends depart with pocketfuls. The trick with a lime tree is you have to keep them picked, so it will continue to produce.
 
Until now, all I've ever seen in my lifetime, was a  lime bush. I've had fun with friends as I send them out to pick limes off the "bush". They hunt all over the place, scratching their head and yell back inside that they can't find the lime bush, and I inform them nonchalantly, "You're standing UNDER it!" 
 
Pretty soon I will need a mocko jumby on stilts to collect the uppermost limes.
 
One lady has promised to return with a key lime pie (yummy!) and I will surely give her another sack full for that heavenly treat.
 
 
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 1 Jan 2008 23:53:04 EST
Something to watch...
 
 
 
 
 
We are expecting rough seas and perhaps a little gale in a few days, one just never knows.
 
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- Old Year's Night
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 31 Dec 2007 15:46:17 EST
Seas of 6-8 feet and 22 knot winds are expected tonight. During the next week, seas are expected to by quite choppy.  After Thursday the swell is expected to slowly increase with resulting high surf and rip currents.
 
Other than that, Happy Old Year's Night!
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- Magic Moments
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 30 Dec 2007 10:57:41 EST
A glorious Sunday, started out with the usual morning rains, like heavy dew, my plants sure are loving it. They had a tough move to the new place, moving potted plants around is never easy, and then they have to get used to a new environment. 
 
I moved from seashore and jungle, to mountainside and bush.  This area seems to get as much rain as the rest of the island, but also gets a lot more sun, so our brief rains it bakes right out of the earth. 
 
 We are expecting moderate winds, and scattered short showers for a few days, while we gear up to ring in the New Year!  This year you have many choices, from the world famous Foxys to other parties being offered at Oscars on Frenchman's Cay, the Trellis Bay Party on Beef Island, Jolly Roger and other assorted venues.
 
I am not sure where I am going, it's a secret until the last minute anyhow.
 
I remember my first time at Foxy's New year's Eve party, um a few decades ago (mermaids are ageless).  Those were some wild days and the BVI, at that time,  was comfortably disorganized about the whole affair which made for an even more bizarre event. Anything goes, or it did in that day and time. By midnight, the beach was crowded with dinghies tied to palm trees, tied to each other and anchored in shallow water.
 
Some brave sorts had sailed over on small catamarans, like 10-14 foot Hobies, and dragged them up on shore. A few people hired a plane and sky dived into the event, landing smartly on the beach, just before sunset. Others brought in tents and set up in the yards of local friends and still others were in the coveted hammocks, or lounge chairs or a chair at all. Large rocks were strategically placed up and down the beach, serving as nature's stools.
 
Tired folks could be found sleeping on the beach, some in a dinghy or on the trampoline of their Hobie Cat, others in the sand, some had spread  a sarong or towel out to sleep. A few drunks were making love in the dark bushes, oblivious to the crowds wandering around them. And all this plus more  was going on all before 10pm.
 
After midnight, things roared to life again, as nappers found a 2nd wind, and everyone huggy kissy over the New years and so on. Still others passed out on the beach, in the bushes, in a strangers bed or bunk and so on.  Many small bars had already been forced to close due to lack of inventory and the food ran out long before. This was back time, and Jost didn't even have electricity at the time.
 
Foxys old diesel genset was grinding away,  the band had another generator to keep them powered up. You had to pee in the swamp out back, or for ladies only there was a lone shack down a path,  thrown up with sticks and woven palm fronds, with a door on uncertain hinges made of rope. The roof was open to the sky, and you could go inside (one at a time) and squat over  a wooden bench with a large hole dug below it, outhouse style. The line for this was very long indeed, so most opted for the swamp.  Other ladies used the bush behind the outhouse while the line of women waiting, kept cover for them.
 
Down the beach, it was palm tree to coconut tree full of people dressed in Tuxedos, expensive evening gowns, sarongs, suits, bikinis,  tattered shirts, faded shorts, yuppie tourist stuff and even a man in a diaper as the New Year Baby. He was 50-ish but had a big round baby face, a massive pot belly and custom made large diaper.  Someone had written in glitter on his bare front and back "New Year's Baby" and he wore a decorated Top hat that wasn't cheap.  A few other assorted costumes were sported, so everyone assumed my costume was a mermaid and never realized I was for real.
 
I traversed the beach meeting friends, dancing with strangers, groped by the lascivious, pursued by the island boyz and thoroughly enjoying people watching.  I remember some women arriving in expensive evening gowns, stiletto heels, perfectly applied makeup and not-a-hair-out-of-place coiffures. Their jewelry was worth more than  the cost of my first home, I can tell you that. Their escorts were in Tuxedos and they all looked a tad bewildered as they came off the ramshackle wooden dock (was that the year it collapsed from too many people on it at once?)  and they stood there in the sand, looking around, like:
 
Um, did we take a wrong turn somewhere off Broadway?
 
Back in those days, there wasn't much publicity about Foxy's except that his New year's Eve party was made world  famous when Time magazine had it listed as the top three places to be worldwide,  on Old Year's Night. So now a whole new well heeled trendy crowd flocked to the islands, to attend this must-be-seen-at world famous party.
 
I followed the evening gown dressed women around, in the shadows, it was so crowded and they were fun to watch.  I had seen one of them in a movie before, but in those days and times, I hadn't seen a TV in over 10-15 years, but sometimes caught an odd movie, so all of them could have been movie stars, for all I knew. 
 
I think their dresses were probably worth well over 5 figures and the hottest thing off 5th Avenue and one-offs no doubt. Now that is something I rarely get to see here, is the latest high  fashion. 
 
Oh yes, we have lots of high fashion in the islands, but it's a very different kind of  high fashion.  Many folks here make their own clothes or  hire a seamstress or  tailor to make them custom outfits. Then others simply buy the most outrageous colors or styles and make up their own sense of style, not to be seen anywhere else. Then we have cultural dressing with cultures from around the world represented.  Some culturally dress from cultures they aren't from, but because they like the style and this is the islands where different is expected, eccentric the norm and few strive to follow a set clique.
 
These gorgeous ladies and their stilettos were sinking into the sand, making it nearly impossible to walk.  The lovely long sequined and feathered gowns  were starting to drag on the beach and the winds were whipping their hairdos into hairundones.  A quick sudden 2 minute downpour, transformed their faces and in less than a half hour, the sand, the winds, the slight shower, and now they barely resembled their original selves when they had arrived all glamorous.
 
I couldn't believe they weren't willing to take their shoes off and go barefoot.  I could have made money selling flip-plops outta my backpack.  After awhile, realizing that THIS WAS IT, the crowd of Tuxedos and Gowns headed for the bar, traipsing through the sand to fetch drinks. The men's Italian shoes were dusted in sand, the women walked as if severely handicapped as their stilettos sunk with every step.
 
Finally one lady, having enough of this ridiculousness, slipped her shoes off and passed them to her escort. So this Tuxedoed man is trying to juggle his drink, pull out his wallet to pay and hold his lady's three thousand dollared shoes by the straps with his pinkie finger.  His happy date, now roamed freely, barefoot, the long gown hiding the barefeet and no longer cared she was leaving a trail of sequins down the beach as the hem of her gown began giving way.
 
Her hair was already blown out of place, the sudden rain had rearranged her makeup and THIS WAS IT.
 
THE PARTY to be at.
 
On a beach, on a tiny island, in the middle of nowhere, traically stuck without a lighted makup mirror within five miles.
 
A few drinks later, a thousand yards down the beach, I ran into the same couple again and the man was still carrying her shoes on his pinkie by the straps. From the look of his and her faces they were getting quite smashed.   I tried not to laugh but maybe he saw the smirk on my face of one who is about to burst out laughing for the sheer helluvit. 
 
Someone was flirting with his date and he looked at me, in my casual silk sarong, dripping with every piece of gold jewelry I owned (probably all together  worth about the same as one of his fine Italian shoes). He studied my  swishy mermaid tail, glanced at the  seashells woven in my hair,  while I smiled at him, trying not to laugh as he stood there in this lavish Tuxedo, holding these exquisite stiletto heeled shoes in his hands.
 
He looked at them, back at me and burst out laughing.  While his date was turned the other way, he drew his arm back pitcher style and flung those stilettos so far and high, that we actually thought we heard a splash as they landed in the swamp out back. Then he carefully made a beehive down the beach and didn't stop for about 500 feet.
 
This left his date looking around for him and the place was so crowded, it took her  hours to find him again. I ran into him down the beach and he asked me to dance.  Since he wasn't sporting a wedding ring, I had quite a few dances and drinks with him. Meanwhile, he removed the jacket and hung it on a seagrape tree, then the bow tie, and now the ruffled shirt was loosened up, but he kept on his shoes, and top hat, saying they would make a fun souvenir. The sand was grinding into the polish and leather and by morning, those shoes would look well worn as if found and worn for years on end by a street urchin, not by a movie star on New Year's Eve.
 
I saw an islander go by, study the sea grape tree, then he pulled off his faded T-shirt, grabbed  the tux and tails jacket and bow tie, put them on, then sported it down the beach, dancing side to side excessively, barefoot and complimented by a pair of long tattered faded jeans. I said nothing to my dancing partner. If he could afford to throw his date's shoes into the swamp, without a care, then what the heck if some skinny island boy danced away with his jacket.
 
Later, when he saw the islander coming back down the beach, dancing away shirtless in his lavish tailed coat and bow tie, having the time of his life, my new friend merely laughed heartily and bought the guy a drink.  Thousands of people came and went up and down the beach, drinking, dancing, walking, flirting, partying.  The harbor was packed to the outer limits with boats and yachts represented from around the world. Bands played all night long. Dingies seemed to make endless trips back and forth.  Many people had altered their outfits by now, or added to them with silly hats. Inappropiate shoes were abandoned, all over the docks, in the dinghies, in the bushes, in the swamp. People made love in the bushes, and on the beach while others snored loudly nearby them.
 
I danced to maybe 40-50 tunes with many partners, sweating out the drinks, smiling and laughing, ringing in the New Year.
 
It was a fun time and I had an absolute blast. Glad I did it when I did it and don't regret it one bit.   I've been back since, but this story, was just memories from my first ever  trip there.
 
You've just got to dance barefoot, on the sand, by the ocean's edge, under the stars, on a farawy island at least ONCE in your lifetime, even if only  just to savor the memory that life is good.
 
And if you've made this far in life and never done that, I truly feel so sorry for you.
 
Life is for the Living and Live it Up you should!
 
 
Foxy & Friends, Living De Life!
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2007 10:39:52 EST

Goreous day of winds, bright sunshine, pretty sailboats.  Ah, life doesn't get any better. No snow expected for the next 72 hours, no hurricanes and no himmacanes.

Today along the seashore, a Cruzan Rum bottle washed up from D on Bliss Mountain. Inside he shares his recipe with us:

Perfect Party Hot Buttered Rum

1 ½ oz. Cruzan single barrel rum
2 heaping teaspoons hot buttered rum mix (see below)
6 oz. hot water

Hot buttered rum mix (40 servings):

1 lb. light brown sugar
½ lb. salted butter
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
2 tsp. ground nutmeg
½ tsp. ground allspice
1 tsp. vanilla extract

In a heated coffee mug, add above ingredients, top with hot water.  Mix thoroughly.  Serve with swizzle stick.

I remember getting bottles of cruzan when i was down there many years ago.  I had forgot about it til i saw this recipe.

-d-

Also, I received 2 pics of beautful Caribbean Rum Cakes!  (see recipe in the December 21st posting)

This one is from the boyz in Minnesota, I see they taste tested it before the picture was taken! 

***Nobody was injured in the making of this cake, the broken wrist is a result of snow boarding before tasting the cake!

 

And not to be outdone, I heard from Eddie in Montreal who offers us a chocolate variation:

Hello Miss Mermaid,
 
When I found the recipe for the rum cake you posted  I made the original one and I also made a different version using your basic recipe.
I made a chocolate and  Grande Marnier version. Chocolate cake and chocolate pudding mix and Grande Marnier in place of the rum. I am attaching a photo of the Grande Marnier version, also very good,
 
Merry Christmas & a Healthy Happy New Year from Montreal.
 
Eddie

 
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- Slight Light Rains
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 27 Dec 2007 12:29:05 EST
Another beautiful day in paradise with just light scattered showers, enough to keep the cisterns happy.  WInd and seas are about normal.  Nothing in the tropical weather discussion suggests anything untoward for our area.
 
I managed to come home with my arms full, trip, fell and dropped my camera, only to watch my opened bottle of water roll over and drench it before my very eyes. I was mortified, and shook the camera fiercely, trying to get any water out, then I truned my stand fan horizontal, and placed the camera on top so the air would blow dry it. I celaned up the rest of the mess and sat down to dinner, which I had broght home with me.
 
I was dead tired and went to bed. I woke up to a loud thump and a gust of wind. The gust had kncoked my fan cockeyed and dumped my camera on the hard tile floor, and the batteries fellout and rolled away to never never land.
 
I went back to bed and prayed for a miricle. This morning I found the errant batteries, gingerly picked up the camera, inspected it, loaded it, and tooka  few shots  of next week's dinner and guess what.
 
It WORKED!
 
Lonesome for the Caribbean?  Check out these Caribbean Sarongs and Tropical Shirts from the mad gringo who's motto is GO SLOW. He offers up some nice gift baskets too. Trying to get your loved one to commit to a trip to the BVI?  Send him a mad gringo gift basket and he'll be ready!  Well, actually, they pack it in a beer bucket rather than a basket. (Most men find the beer bucket far handier than the basket...)
 
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- all is calm, all is bright
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 25 Dec 2007 13:18:07 EST
All is clear and bright, with a few light scattered showers.  Noise is way down, few cars on the roads, people are quiet, even the pets are quiet. Nothing barking or crowing.
 

A Whale of a Christmas Tale
 
'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the Caribbean
Not a creature was stirring, but many fans were purring

I was asleep on my boat, when suddenly I awoke
I heard a bang, and then a clang!

I sprang out of my bunk, colliding with a furry hunk
Rudolf!  The Red Nose Reindeer!  How are you, my dear?

Need some sunscreen?  Or would you like ice cream?
Oh, dear, he sighed, listen here, he cried!

Santa was sloshing in eggnog, his mind was off and in a fog
Since it still  wasn't day, he leaned over the sleigh

To take a quick leak, since his bladder was weak
His eyes were a little blurry, but he spotted something furry

With a wink in his eye, he exclaimed in the sky
From way up in the air, I can see her hair!

Why, I've never been laid, by a Caribbean mermaid!
But oh dear me!  
 
Santa jumped, in the sea!  But that's not all, this is why I call
Santa  was swallowed by a great big fish, who thought he was a Christmas dish!

I don't know what happened to the mermaid, but I don't think Santa's gonna get laid!

We need him back at the North Pole, not in a fish, swallowed whole!
Rudolf, I said,  don't despair, at least it wasn't a big black bear

Let me take you fishing, I know that you been wishing
For a Caribbean holiday, to come your way!

We went out in my boat, where on the sea we did float
We baited our hook, we wanted that crook

That big nasty old fish, who thought Santa was a dish
Finally we caught him with our bait, with Santa inside, he was a great weight!

We made that hideous fish, grant us our wish
And with a great heave, out popped Santa's sleeve

He came out of that great fish body, only just a little wobbly
He had this awful smell, it turned the reindeer almost pale!

We dried off old St Nick, and we did it quick
We didn't want him to say  Achoo! As if he may have caught the flue!

We got back into port, cooking up the fish for sport
That one big fish, made a fine Christmas dish

Off the reindeer, they did fly, with Santa Claus way up high
Back in my bunk where I was laying, I could still hear Santa saying

Merry Christmas to all, I'm having a ball, that big old fish, made one fine dish

But listen here, when I come back next year, I hope I get laid, by that Caribbean mermaid!

******1998 by Dear Miss Mermaid
 
 
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- HO HO HO
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:03:13 EST
A gorgeous day, nothing on the horizion, but fair winds and semi-clear skies. No snow for us this year, and we might even make it to new year's without anymore storms.
 
Last night the sun set at dark thirty, and all over the island, folks lit up their Christmas lights. I was admiring my neighbor's across the harbor, who had added more lights and now had them blinking to a Christmas tune.   I was trying to clean up the mess from the electrician, he had drilled through concrete and that just makes a huge mess, of super fine dust everywhere.   I had dumped out my entire closet in search of my drill for him to use so my bedroom was no longer navigable. 
 
I KNOW the electrician was trying not to burst out laughing as he watched me dump out this closet and the very last thing I found, was the box marked hardware and inside was the drill and such.
 
To tell the truth,   I haven't finished unpacking, at some point I just got fed up and shoved everything in the closet so the place would look nice and clean.
 
Now you know my secret to housework, just shove it all in the closet and call it DONE.   Next I vacuum the whole house then I prop a mop near the front door. I am not fond of mopping, but have been caught doing that now and then. Even if I don't feel like mopping, I just prop the mop near the front door. Then if I have company, I can say, oh let me put the mop away, I was just going to do that when you showed up (yeah right!)
 
So there I am admiring the Chrsitmas lights, vaccum cleaner in hand, ready to tackle the mountian of concrete dust when Kerboom and the whole island was plunged into darkness.  That elec-tricky company just can't keep up with us. I suspect they were all out at their Christmas party and the band plugged in and that did it. Who knows?  My phone was ringing, and I stubled around in the darkness looking for a flashlight, candles, the phone, a drink.  Friends from all over were calling to see if I had power, we wanted to assess the situation. What we found out was everyone was in the dark except Cane Garden Bay. Maybe that is where their party was. Hmm.
 
The clouds parted and the full moon rose, so I sat outside by the moonlight, admiring all the lucky yachts in the harbor, one lit up like a Christmas tree. The moon was so bright, my neighbors sat outside and played a game of chess.
 
The phone rang again, my friend inviting me to the fool moon party, and then another caller with the same invitation. The problem was I wanted a shower first and at my new place I live on a cistern with a pump, so no elec-tricky, no water. I have an accumulator tank, but it's only good for when you turn on the water then rememebr UT OH and turn it back off again.
 
Two hours later, my laptop battery was dead, the winds were slight and the elec-tricky finally came back on. I cleaned up and was headed to the  fool moom party  when I slowed down for a speed bump. What do I see?  But old St Nick, in his bright red outfit, peeing in the bushes. I kid you not!
 
So I beeped and waved and his dark cheeks turned rosy at the prospect of being caught peeing in the bushes, but I thought it was funny.
 
I drove to the fool moon party at Bomba's and parked. It seemed half the island was at the party (and the other half probably at the other fool moon party at Beef Island).  I kept telling people I saw Santa Claus in the bushes, and they saying back at me "You been eating those shrooms again, haven't you!"  No one believed I saw Santa Claus. *Sigh*
 
A few minutes go by and we hear the whine of the fire engine coming down the road. Everyone got quiet wondering what was on fire where and should we go for the ride or stay at the party, but as the fire engine got closer, we see it's Santa Claus riding on top of the truck, holding onto the ladder with one hand and tossing candy out at the crowd with the other.
 
He made the rounds down to Carrot Bay and then he came back again, laughing and waving, tossing more candy. Then we hear him yell for his reindeer to stop cause he needed a beer!  This sent the crowd into peels of laughter, as we watched Santa climb down from his perch and go order a beer at the bar (which they didn't charge him for) then he climbed back up on his perch and away he went into the night spreading more cheer.
 
Ho Ho Ho!  Merry Christmas from Santa Claws!




- Ya Better Be Nice...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 23 Dec 2007 15:12:31 EST
Another great day in paradise. A few little rains in the morning, but slight winds, much to the dismay of sailors. However, if you wish to go upwind, today is the day to fire up that motor and get as far upwind as you can, then it's a sleighride back downwind.  Yeehaw!
 
 
This fence is built out of flotsam and jetsam, aka ocean debris, so I burst out laughing when I saw the latest addition to the fencing.
 
I haven't been out too much lately, too busy unpacking and settling down. What a nightmare moving, but landlady has been sweet as can be and made many necessary repairs. Stuff the last tenants forgot to mention.
 
Today they removed my antique overhead fan, that thing had seen it's day, we suspect it was from the 40's, as Tortola often sells used offcasts from other parts of the world, that miraculously make their way here. It had become moving decor, as it was so slow, it didn't cool a thing, just provided fake ambiance. 
 
I also added a 2" thick piece of foam to the top of my bed mattress, and oh my goodness, I had heard it would be easier on the tired joints, and oh, it's heaven on earth, to lay in bed. It's a wonder I ever get OUT of it these days. I am sleeping so much better. 
 
I guess mermaids just aren't built for hard beds. I sure miss the days I slept in a waveless softsided waterbed, that was the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in.  Then of course I was real fond of my boat bunk, I bought all new thick foam cushions for it, when I was fixing up the interior, it was like moving from rock to softness. I would listen to the gentle slapping of the sea and sometimes let her rock me to sleep.
 
I have no idea why anyone thinks a firm bed is good for you. I want to be cozy and comfy when I snooze. If I want a firm bed, I can always sleep on the floor.  But why pay a fortune for a firm mattress is beyond me. One day I am going to sleep on a bed of feathers and see what that is like on my old tail.
 
While I tried to make up the bed, one cat played hide and seek with me. He thinks I can't see this big cat shaped lump hiding under the sheets I am trying to tuck in. Once I finally got the bed made up, and the cats, out from under the sheets, they tiptoed across the new bed topper carefully, looking suspiciously at me, like what the heck is this all about. Then as they curled up, murmuring purrs and now I can't get them out of the bed either.
 
 
I did roll out of bed long enough to try to capture the sunrise, but by the time I threw on a sarong, found my flip-plops, located the camera, peeled open my eyes, and managed to actually take the shot, I had missed the colors I was out to capture. But LQQK how flat calm the ocean is, like a lake rather the tumultuous sea.
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- Seasons Greetings!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 21 Dec 2007 08:35:20 EST
Dark and stormy for 830 am. The sun came up nice, but we had this big dark cloud looming over us, now it is thick like almost gray fog and rains are gently blowing around us. It took me an hour to type this (gee I am REALLY slow) so now at 930, it is drizzling rains against a gray backdrop again.
 
Checking over the written forecasts and I find "patches of moisture will move through the area this morning".  Is that like scattered showers???
 
So glad I ran my errands in town yesterday before noon. Traffic is crazy there, too many cruise ships clogging up the port and the day trippers and their taxi busses (which NEVER pull off the road but just stop in the middle of it) make for mayhem.
 
I parked and walked a few miles doing my errands. It's been a year now, since busting my leg twice, and still I have a dark scar like a perpetual bruise. I feel it ache when I walk really fast. I wear a hat and drink water, but still I come home feeling baked dry, like the sorry roasted  chicken I bought for lunch. It too, had been laid out in the heat to long.
 
Bobby's grocery store has decorated the entire street with all manner of Christmas decorations, but I didn't make it in there to shop for Christmas candy. I went to the wholesale place to stock up on the kitty food. They have settled on Fancy Feast as their favorite and they lick their bowl spotless whenever I treat them to that. Lately when I feed them the cheap stuff, they slowly eat about half of it, and leave the rest out to dry up and look evil. I tell those kitties that somewhere other kitties are starving and waste not, want not, and they just look at me plaintively, like well, if it were the good stuff, we would lick the bowl clean and save you washing up. The wholesale place had zero Christmas candy, zero chocolate, save for an old chocolate life size  football, that I have seen in there for three  years now and I ain't touchin it!
 
Incredibly where I expected the chocolate candy to be, was where they had stocked sheets, towels, curtains and table cloths. All this in a grocery store. You just never know around here. So if you find your Christmas stocking stuffed with curtains this year, it's because there were no chocolate Santa's or candy Canes to be had.
 
Maybe this is like the old days, when Chocolate Santa's appeared at Valentine's Day and by July,  the sweetheart candy was available, and at Halloween we had Chocolate Easter bunnies and marshmallow eggs, and then at Christmas we had black and orange taffy and orange pumpkin candies. But I couldn't even find any Halloween candy. I know the pumpkins didn't come this year either. Oh well, we live on a different time, a different calendar here anyhow.
 
By the way, through instant messages, phone calls and emails, I have had to track down the RUM CAKE recipe. Several readers report that the rum cake is the only way they can survive their relatives during the holidays. Some apparently use a LOT more rum than others...
 
I recommend you buy about 3-6 bottles of rum, in case you decide to make more than one cake and also the rum is fun to drink while you bake *hiccup*.  Heck, you might as well buy a CASE of rum and make up some eggnog too.
 
Somehow in my move recently, I lost my Bundt cake pan, darn it. I also am missing a box of refrigerated food, that included  a half head of cabbage, some carrots and onions, plus a big jar of Tahini (for making Humus dip) and a big jar of Horseradish (tasty and also used for medicinal purposes) and other odds and ends. I have looked everywhere for this errant box of food, and fear one day, what I may find.  Maybe it just fell off the truck somewhere, who knows. Another one of life's mysteries. I ask anyone that comes to visit, if they smell anything funny around here...
 
But back to the cake, it's fairly simple and VERY delicious and keeps a LONG time. If you bake this cake this year, please send me a picture of yours! 
 
By the way, it goes exceptionally well with my:
 
Super Simple Eggnog Recipe
 
1/4 cup of honey
6 eggs
1 liter or quart of milk
2 teaspoon of vanilla
1 fifth or liter of Rum
fresh ground nutmeg for garnish
 
In blender, toss in honey and eggs, give it a whir to mix thoroughly, add vanilla and half the milk, buzz again to mix, add rest of milk to blender and blend again, pour into 3 quart (or liter)  or larger punch bowl or pitcher, whisk in bottle of rum and serve well chilled with grated nutmeg over the top. Alternatively, fill cups or mugs half full with blended mix, then top with rum, stir or whisk and grate nutmeg over the top. Fast, easy, delicious!
 
 
CARIBBEAN RUM CAKE
 
 
A Tried and True Recipe

Cake:
1 cup chopped, toasted pecans or walnuts or both
1 18-1/2 ounce yellow cake mix
1 1-3/4 ounce instant vanilla pudding mix
4 eggs
1/2 cup cold milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup Caribbean dark rum

Glaze:
1 stick butter (1/4 pound)
1/4 cup water
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup Caribbean dark rum
 
Cake Recipe: Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease and flour 12-cup Bundt pan. Sprinkle nuts on bottom of pan. Combine all cake ingredients. Beat for 2 minutes on high with electric mixer. Pour into prepared pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool in pan. Invert on serving plate. Prick top with fork. Drizzle glaze over top of cake. Use brush or spoon to put extra dripping back on cake.
 
Glaze Recipe: Melt butter in saucepan. Stir in water and sugar. Boil 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in rum. Note: The rum will cause steam. Be careful not to burn yourself.
 
The longer this cakes sits, the better the taste, the Rum preserves it well. *hiccup*
 
If you want to print this out, click here for the plain page version.
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- HO HO HO
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:45:13 EST
The morning started off with dark skies and gentle rains, then it cleared right up to bright sunshine and virtually no winds!  WHERE are those Christmas winds?  Usually it blows 25-30 knots this time of year, but not now. It is flat calm.
 
So WHO do I find at my favorite secret beach working on his tan?
 
HO HO HO, Happy Holidays!
 
Don't forget to buy your 2008 calendars!  (Proceeds go to feed a Mermaid!)
 
 
 
 
 
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- Olga didn't blow us away
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:04:09 EST
Warm and sunny with slight winds. We still are being treated to spectacular sunsets, very unusual for December!
 
Sopers Hole at Dusk. Frenchmans Cay is lit up on the left, St Thomas, in the background has a power outage but West End, Tortola on the right, has light. The lit dots in the middle are masthead lights aka proper anchor lights.  Notice the boats in the foreground are not lit up, it's my understanding that known marked anchorages do not have to display anchor lights.  The folks further out, are smart to broadcast their lights, especially since we sometimes get those 3am go-fast boat deliveries at Sopers Hole.
 
We are also still having problems with electricity, Internet, cable TV and phones. I would rather be at the beach all day anyhow but work beconds.
 
The week that I was out of commission, I sent the cat down to the cyber cafe and told him to upload a report for me, so you would know that Tortola didn't blow away with Olga!
 
Well, he didn't come back for a long time. Day after day, I wonder what happened.
 
Finally after a few days, I hiked down to the cyber cafe to find out what ever happened to my cat who went to upload a report for me.
 
And there he was.
 
Fast at work.
 
 
Do your last minute shopping with an Amazon gift certificate, one size fits all!
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- The Mermaid LIVES!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2007 12:42:48 EST
The Mermaid is back!  We had a massive melt down, not the weather, a techno meltdown.
 
Weather is goreous, boats are out sailing, the odd scattered shower now and then.
 
First I had a power zap that fried the power surge protectors and zapped the computers. The phones went out, the cell went down, then the cable TV broke and internet disconnected.  Never mind I moved and haven't been able to get propane delivered to my new place, that is until today!  Yipppee!  I tested the stove and oven and it all works like a charm, do I dare buy food for the holidays?  After a few days, the TV cable was repaired, internet is back and I got a new phone with the new cell company (but kept the old phone too) so WOW like I have communications again now. Land phone company can't tell me which year they will hook my phone back up, since my move, and by then and I may just tell them to KEEP IT!
 
Murmurs the local merchants were happy, as it was either go shopping or go to the beach or bars you sure couldn't do much work or do much at home with no power, no cable, no phone, no tv, no internet, just like the good old days on my boat! 
 
 
Hopefully, you will hear from me MORE OFTEN!
 
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid

DearMissMermaid.Com




- Olga left us
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:22:27 EST
Sunny and breezy today, all is well. Olga sure scared a few folks while others kept saying Olga who?  What?  You gotta be kidding me!  Nothing but fair weather for the next  few days now though seas on the north will tend to be a bit rough at times. Sailors are out  and all seems well again.
 
I am glad we didn't go to St Thomas as planned the day Olga popped up. We could see in the distance that they were pounded by more rains than us, as the day progressed. Mainly I wasn't in the mood to get stuck in their flash floods or sailing in choppy heave ho the cookie seas.
 
Meanwhile through a miracle, I have found most of the things on Tortola that I was going to Kmart in search of. WOW. Will wonders never cease!  Maybe because it is Christmas, many stores actually bought some inventory!
 
I recently was forced to move by my former witch of a landlady who apparently tossed me out because someone else wanted my home!  I understand I could have stayed on longer and forced her to take me to court who would have sided with me but still I would have to pay and stay and continue to look for something comparable and eventually move. It would be a hostile situation all a round. The harassment already started, with my hot water mysteriously vanishing and not being fixed, someone was using a key to come in my home (gee, I wonder WHO) and would leave obvious evidence, like a  very odd drinking vessel as if to shove it in my face, that I was not enjoying much privacy.
 
I lost over two weeks of WORK trying to track down a new home and each place I looked at, just didn't feel like home or was grossly overpriced or not maintained and I wasn't in the mood to rebuild a place just to move in.  I finally gave up, I had to return to work, everyone was yelling at me for their projects to be delivered and so on. My odyssey into home hunting was incredible. Prices are all over the place, with no rhyme or reason. Landlords and Real Estate agents have jacked things up beyond belief. Then once in awhile you stumble on someone who isn't greedy and actually wants a good long term tenant. Now THAT is rare. Many offer their place as "asking $$$"  so there is room to bargain (which some will do) while others will let a place sit empty for six months while they wait for someone willing to pay their extraordinary rent request. Others are anxious to grab the winter trade and not take a "local"  until spring time. I was told time and time again "Check back with me in April, I might let you move in then."
 
Real estate agents seem bent on getting super high rents as they get a hefty finders fee based on the rent, so they are pretty tricky to deal with as quite honestly we have too many real estate agents competing for the same small market. I don't understand how it does a landlord any good to let their place sit empty for months on end, when they could bring the rent down to an affordable rate and rent it immediately. Is there something I am missing in this picture?
 
Wages have NOT gone up around here, yet I run into so many sad tales of people being tossed out of their homes because someone else wants it. Many are being forced to move into smaller places, when they needed larger places. I know of two families that have 10+ people living in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath place. It's just wall to wall mattresses. It wasn't like that when I came here years ago.
 
Meanwhile I started receiving threats and nonsense from the witch of a landlady. Moving twice is one year is a terrible hardship on me. Moving around is not cheap!  I had told the landlady when I moved in 10 months ago, that I wanted long term place for 7-10 years or so, NOT 10 months. Apparently leases here are pretty worthless and mine had some unique features that I shall not ever sign for again.
 
When she found out I didn't plan to look any further until after the holidays, she stepped up the harassment and my life became chaotic. I prayed for a miracle. My only crime was paying rent on time. I had no idea I was dealing with such an evil person.
 
My miracle came through, amazingly enough. I met a wonderful lady who showed me a place that instantly felt like home. It didn't meet all my requirements (none of them do anyhow) but it met most of the important ones, and they were willing to take me and my cats and my guests and my plants and my office and let me live in peace without harassment. Matter of fact, the security at the new place is pretty tight. 
 
So I was pleased, amazed and dazzled that many of my lovely friends turned up to help me pack and move and commiserate. Now that is true love indeed, when a friend will help you move.
 
Needless to say, the boyz (aka Cats) were none to pleased with this latest development. I had them all loaded up in cat carriers, in the heap of a jeep when Houdini escaped.  We played leap frog all over the yard, before I was able to grab him, toss him in the heap and move with the windows up.  I didn't bother to put him back in his carrier, but he settled himself down between the other cat carriers and they all sang loudly while we drove to the new home and me trying to talk sweetly to them about how much they are going to love their new adventure.
 
They searched the new place thoroughly, every closet, sniffed every bit of furniture, toured every cabinet, cupboard and drawer. They inspected plumbing, wiring, windows, you name it, they gave it a thorough inspection. Then two moved to the top shelf of the closet while the fat one hid under the bed, and there they stayed for over a week, just listening to the new noises and smelling the new smells. They ventured out to eat like they were dieting, and would occasionally cuddle with me on the bed.  One kept meowing at each cabinet door, demanding a 2nd inspection.  I could hear him banging around the place, as he tried his paw at opening up EVERYTHING for another inspection and go over.
 
Now they are testing the yard, sniffing the garden  testing the furniture, sleeping on the beds and eating heartily again. They put a live baby lizard in the shower for me and slayed a snake and dragged his dead body home for show and tell. They've decided to stay after all. Me?  I unpacked the office, but everything else is still a search and find. I try to unpack more each day and sort this and that. In the confusion of the move, things destined for the dump or to other homes, moved with me, so I've had to move much back to the dump or relocate elsewhere. The potted garden moved, though a few plants are showing signs of pending doom, moving potted plants isn't easy, especially when you grow lots of things.
 
The new place is beautiful and though small, it came with 17 windows, many of them facing a gorgeous view. Life is good. Miracles happen.
View from  the porthole
 
Support a mermaid, shop for calendars  or gifts.
 




- Messy Olga dumps rains and howling winds
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2007 06:02:33 EST
It is 6am and the winds are howling, the rains come and go and Subtropical storm OLGA is having fun giving us all a good scare. Screens from my windows are flying through the house, I haven't bothered to put them back up since many of the screen clips broke right off when the gusty winds attacked them.
 
Monday, winds howled around the BVI though most businesses continued to stay open as there wasn't the feared flooding, in spite of the frequent downpours. However, throughout the night we had frequent rains and I fear some rock and mud slides in uncanny locations.
 
At 5am the center of Olga was believed to be at 18.5 North, 67 West, along the northwest coast of Puerto Rico.
 
Strong winds and rough seas are expected to be the norm for this week. The elec-tricky comes and goes.
 
The oodles of google wedding guests have mostly fled the area, after being battered by winds and rains during the official  reception Sunday. Much of the weekend, our tiny airport was crowded with private jets parked all over the place.  It is unusual for tropical storms to hit in December because the seas are not as warm, however, all those big wigs and their hot air, apparently attracted the storm even closer.
 
I was contacted by a gentle reader,from Toronto,  who came to visit the islands again. He grew up here in the early 60's and had not been back to see what time has wrought. He and his wife invited me for dinner, and how could I tell them I was already booked to go to Larry Page's wedding on Necker Island?  I bet Larry has never once read Dear Miss Mermaid, at least not until very recently. So to heck with the wedding, I spent the evening with my two visiting readers.
 
Besides, whoever heard of signing a confidentiality agreement just to attend a wedding?  By not attending and not signing, I can yack about it all I want.




- GALE WARNING at 11am til Late Thirty
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2007 08:29:30 EST
Gale warning at 11am until Late Thirty. A tropical disturbance may be passing us today and tomorrow. This surprise feature in our Monday morning ho-hum-drums is forecast to bring significant showers, thunderstorms and gutsy, gusty winds up to 40mph.
 
Yikes, I may have to cancel my tooth hurty dental appointment.
 
I am currently over on the Sir Francis Drake Channel, the leeward southern side and it's moderate, not flat, not overly choppy,the north shore, I will see later on, but last night it was kicking up something ferocious with brisk refreshing breezes that tangled my long hair into dread locks. I had to put it up in a pony tail so I could eat dinner at Cruzins without being flogged by my hair.
 
Small craft advisory, moderate north easterly swells, breaking seas on the north shores, generating rip currents and high surf advisory.
 
 
More information on Rip Currents can be found here.
 
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Olga?
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2007 05:01:50 EST
Do we have Olga brewing out there?  Gale warnings?  The "nothing"  Bullwinkle warned us about is now a something situated about 370 nautical miles east of Puerto Rico and could form into a Tropical Storm in the next 24 hours.
 
Sunday evening I was on the North Shore and the winds were whipping themselves up in anticipation.
 
Shhhhhhhh
 
I found another top secret vehicle growing in the BVI.
 
This one is growing to be a Van. The front end is growing nicely, but the rear end seems to suffer from blight but still, by next year, this thing ought to be ready to harvest!




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- da coconut telegraph
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:51:20 EST
It's Sunday morning and my neighbor is at it again. This sound he started of bright and early with pounding on corrugated metal roofing. Next his buddy showed up with a big squeaky backhoe that was in great need of a full lubrication. At that point, the heavens opened up and for 90 seconds poured down solid rains. The sun is fighting to come back out, and winds are moderate but our lovely Christmas winds have not been spotted yet. Surfers were out yesterday, they've had a busy week, it's not been perfect, but enough to surf and sun.
 
Bullwinkle has sent me his forecast of a lot of something over nothing, and a special feature to watch, as we may be in for some thunder storms or perhaps one last hurrah after hurricane season officially closed. (Hey, didn't that fat lady sing already?) Here is his report:
 
There has been an upper level Low a long ways East of the Leeward Islands for weeks and it wasn't really doing to much, just kind of kicken back and once in a while making way to the West.
 
Currently, "the nothing" is 56 W and 17 N and is racing to the West at a snails pace of two miles an hour.
 
It is not unexpected to get strong Easterlies this time of year and to some extent that has been the case with the exception the winds have been out of the Northeast associated with a moving Cold Front to the North of the Caribbean. Grrr
 
In the past 48 hours winds, at the mid as well as the upper level have commenced cyclonic activity with an ever so slight effect on the surface winds to the East of the Leewards only 450 miles. Grrr
 
This "nothing" is, give or take a few miles, 600 miles wide, East to West and 400 miles tall, North to South, on the North through East side of the Low. Grrr
 
Surface winds over most of the Bahamas and Caribbean remain mostly from the Northeast, consistent with the presence of the Low. Surface winds 7-800 miles East of the Leeward Islands are out of the South. Grrr
 
Right now interface with surface winds and those above are minimal. Grrr
 
The only thing certain about the elements of weather is NOTHING!!! Winds, moisture and warm waters are key ingredients to the OLE Mother Nature soup and all are present. Grrr
 
Now we all know that it is now December and there is no such thing as a grrricane in December, right? hmmm .....
 
Let's add to the drama and Lord only knows I hate drama ... grrrrrrrrrrr
 
There is yet another Cold Front that has passed Bermuda and turned SOUTH!!!! Grrr       It's progress South is faster then the "nothing's" movement to the West.
 
All effective steering winds are around the mid and upper level Low. All the way around. To the North, due to the oncoming Cold Front, steering winds are to the South.    (Are you keeping up with all this?)  The "nothing" has all ready on its own moved over 600 miles to the West. That gives me a very uncomfortable feeling but lets not forget, its December and nothing can go wrong! Yea right.
 
It appears, I love those words, that this system is going to eventually find its way to the Lesser Antilles with at least some isolated thunder storms. Grrr      Now you have all ready had some go by and they moved pretty quick as they do this time of year. This system is creeping and with the possibility of increased lift from the Cold Front could be an unwanted guest for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Grrr
 
NO ONE is forecasting anything!!! So, let this just be a suggestion that there just might be something little or big brewing to the East of the Leeward Islands. Grrr
 
Monitor USCG forecasts, shipping and aviation reports. Those with Google Earth, read the buoys to the East. Pay attention to the sky and the winds. (That's called keeping an eye to weather)
 
Perhaps I could have set on this for another 24 hours. Not my style! I Would rather be sorry on the wrong side then to have seen something coming and said nothing!
 
And now onto the coconut telegraph and google's oogle of a wedding here.  These are all rumors, so as not to be confused as fact, the guests were told to keep this weekend open and to have a passport ready. Private planes were dispatched around the globe to fetch the guests who also signed confidentiality agreements to attend the wedding. Little Dix bay which was building new condos ever the past few months sent a crew into overtime to finish these condos and thus have more space for all the guests arriving.
 
If the guest list is 600 of who's who and family, then on top of that yo u have the security guards, personal assistants and valets traveling with this crowd. Since many islanders don't enjoy Internet due to the high costs of local access, many simply do not know who or what a Google is. Some have heard of it, others not.
 
We still don't know how many wedding planners are involved in this event, but it must be a battalion of them, as the sheer work of keeping up with travel arrangements and subsequent accommodation for that many VIP guests spread over two islands, on top of a lavish wedding and escorting all the folks over to Necker Island for the event, well it must be "the wedding" of the new century.
 
A charter boat captain claims these are photos he shot of the air conditioned tent for the proposed wedding.
 
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Worst kept secrets...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 8 Dec 2007 09:15:05 EST
Scattered showers continue to save me from watering the plants. Winds are slight, but temps is 82 and comfy in the shade.  I've got outdoor chores, so my tan needs a once over anyhow, in view of this weekend.   Everything is green around here and much is overgrown. Life is GOOD.
 
No storms coming our way, according to my crystal ball report and no snow either, thank goodness.
 
My gentle reader, who shall remain anonymous,  sent me this hilarious email about the "worst kept secret" in the BVI. It gave me a huge chuckle cause our tourism motto used to be "Nature's Little Secrets" and "Nature's Best Kept Secrets".  Then we have the local coconut telegraph which is phenomenal. One lady said to me recently, "If you hear the same rumor twice in one day, then it's usually true". 
 
But sometimes an untruth sneaks by and folks fall for it. Like the time when the rumor spread far and wide around the islands, that if you took an empty plastic gallon jug and filled it full of metal beer caps, then you could take it to St Thomas or St Croix and get $100 per jug. Oh man, every where you went, you were tripping over somebody collecting beer caps, or people lining up jugs of the stuff in their home or bartenders that could barely walk around their bar for all the jugs they were trying to fill up. But I never met anyone that collected $100 and soon, the rumor quietly died down, and folks that had saved their jugs, refused to talk about it, and  the incinerator guys in Pockwood Pond, were scratching their heads, wondering why a zillion plastic water jugs were arriving,  full of beer caps at the dump. One day some archeologist will ponder this very same thing.
 
But here is, as my reader so eloquently, puts it "the worst kept secret" and boy has it livened up the islands the last days.
 
Thought you might enjoy and be able to spin a good tale out of this weekend's Big Do in Virgin Gorda. In case you didn't here about one of the worst kept secrets in the BVI, the North Sound this weekend will be the center of the world's technological universe as one of the founders of Google gets married to his lucky sweetheart on Necker. They rented out ALL of Bitter End, Biras, and Little Dix (from more than a week ago), brought in 52 containers on Tropical carrying various and sundry party supplies, and taken a hold on every mooring ball in the North Sound to help keep out the Hoi Polloi. Entertainment to be provided by U2  and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Hope you found your invitation.
 
You know, it hadn't occurred to me, to take my invitation with me when I attend, but good point!  I shall take it, envelope and all.  It would be embarrassing to be turned away!  I've had my hair done, teeth cleaned, nails manicured, tail descaled, had a custom outfit made for the occasion, borrowed jewelry from Harry Winston's (well actually his son Bruce, whom I used to sail with and had great fun gunkholing around in a far away time and place) and chartered a shared helicopter for my arrival. I am afraid if I swim, I will be too tired or will be so enormously hungry from the exertion, I might embarrass myself at the buffet, so better to share a helicopter with Clinton (and pray he doesn't spill anything on my blue dress!) than to arrive all wet, tired and hungry.  Oh, and I made them a wedding gift out of seashells.  See you there! 
 
Google Founder To Wed In The BVI  (gossip already in print!)
 
I heard the ferry and airport was already turning away folks with mega camera lenses (no paparazzi here we hope!)




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Still Alive
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 7 Dec 2007 09:56:32 EST
This is what scattered rain showers look like!
 
Slight winds, but enough that I see sailboats cruising by. Sun and clouds dot the skies. No hurricanes and no snow on the horizon.
 
On Zion Hill, I took a picture of the water truck wreck, (below). He was coming down the hill, lost control and turned into the side of the hill and plowed a nice clean path all the way down. It widened the road by about three feet as he scraped off all the excess foliage and sliced off a section of the embankment. You can even see in the picture where he plowed up the curb. For some reason they put about 20 feet of curb at the bottom of the hill.
 
Later in the day, I was stuck in the rush hour traffic jam at Zion Hill Road because this mammoth piece of equipment, like a jumbo backhoe, showed up to tow the water truck to the other side of the road so they could jack up the truck and take the damaged front wheel off and repair it.
 
I was traversing the hill again and was nearly killed, because another oversized truck was hiding behind the trees on the sharp curve and overtaking my lane without bothering to notify us by way of a truck horn. We couldn't see him or hear him. Had he HONKED I would have known he was coming my way and taking up my lane too. It gave me and my passenger quite a shock as we passed him within inches of our life and had to slam on brakes while heading for the ditch to avoid being crushed. He had to hit the brakes too and they sounded awfully squeaky and crunchy like metal was busting. The driver and his passenger had the nerve to curse us, even though THEY should have HONKED.  There were a line of cars behind us slamming on brakes going uphill too, and we thought we were going to get crushed in back and front and side.  We can't see through trees and around sharp curves.
 
I opened up my glove compartment and pulled out a ziplock baggie with a brand new pair of underwear in them and offered them to my female passenger. SHe started laughing so hard, she said she might need them after all!
 
Actually, I stuck them in there for beach trips. I leave for the beach in my sarong and bathing suit, but when I drive home, I hate sitting on wet bottoms, so once my sarong is on, I can kind of do a little switch betweeen wet bathing suit bottom and dry undies before I drive home.  These fell out of my beach bag one day, and I tossed them into the glove compartment, where they have been for awhile. I know I am a nut, I take a towel and clean undies to the beach... 
 
My passenger of course didn't know this, and was hysterically laughing about me driving around with spare undies for scary truck manervers!
 
I think they let anybody drive a big truck here and it's very scary as I suspect some of these guys need prescriptions eyeglasses, the way they drive as if NO one else is on the road but them. Apparently no one has taught them to HONK when they are overtaking the oncoming lane of traffic on a blind curve.
 
Since then, I find my self honking at every blind curve and much to my passenger's amusement, I would yell out the window too "big truck coming through!"  even though it was only me and my little heap of a  jeep and we were staying in our own lane. The thought of meeting another silent mammoth truck on a hairpin blind curve just makes my heart weak and my suntan fade.
 
I drive as if everyone is out to kill me and constantly swerve to avoid wrecks even though I rarely go over 30 mph.  Many folks drive at 90 mph.
 
I recently was following someone to a new house, and they took off 0-90 in two seconds and vanished. About ten minutes later, I found them parked on the side of the road, waiting for me to catch up.
 
Thanks to frequent rains, many of our roads have bushes growing out in the streets, some streets are reduced to one lane only, unless you want to drive in the bush. We sure need more sidewalks, this would prevent the bush from overtaking the roads so quickly.
 
So, if you plan to drive here, THINK LEFT and drive like every one is out to kill you, and try to avoid wrecks at all costs. We have one emergency room, two mortuaries and 100+ graveyards. Besides, last year when I busted my leg in two places, it took the ambulance 3+hours to fetch me. I hear that is rare, it was a busy day and they figured with a broken leg, I wasn't going to go anywhere anyhow. I think in some cases they can actually get to you in under an hour.  
The hill is very steep, it doesn't look so here, but it really is, and then you can see it takes a sharp right and you have no idea if something mammoth is hiding behind the trees to the right.




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Where have our winds gone
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 6 Dec 2007 09:17:05 EST
Just another lousy day in paradise. I have been way too busy for a mermaid and am drop dead tired these days. Surf was up and the surfers were out and happily riding the waves.  Tourists are on the scene and busses full of cruise ship passengers are everywhere it seems. Winds have been slight, which is odd, we are expecting the strong winter Christmas winds anytime now. Nights have cooled but days with slight winds make for sweaty work. Good time to go swimming and cool off. However last night, I stopped in at Oscars at Frenchmans Cay, and they had lovely winds pouring down the Sir Francis Drake channel. Where those winds were all day, I don't know. Today it is almost like a lake in the Sir Francis Drake Channel.
 
Talk about a room with a view!  This is looking west (no kidding) with Little Thatch, Great Thatch and St John in left background, St Thomas in the right background. In the foreground left is Frenchmans Cay, this picture shot from Tortola.
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- all steady today
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 4 Dec 2007 12:21:06 EST
I meant to post this sooner!  That earthquake we had November 29th, was the most powerful in 33 years. Yikes!
 
 
 
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Winter is here!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 4 Dec 2007 09:47:05 EST
Light, slight winds of no might.  Sir Francis Drake Channel looked like a mirrored lake last night and today shows few ripples.  Scattered showers are on the menu again today in between gorgeous glimpses of a baby boy blue sky.
 
Last night it was actually cold, yes cold. On the north shore it drizzled lightly and the winds picked up and pushed cold air at us. Brrrrr.  Meanwhile the tourists next to us talked about how nice it was to be warm again as they had escaped about a foot of snow at home. They poked fun at us for being c-c-c-cold and we poked fun at their "snow". 
 
"Snow?  Hmm. Like the white stuff we saw in movies?  Is that for real?  You must love staying home everyday, building snow men and sledding down the hills!"
 
"Oh?  You DRIVE to work in that stuff?  We don't even go out in the rain here (not even for work!) and you go out and drive in the snow?  How do you keep from melting?"
 
That reminds me somebody sent me a funny video a while back. A guy comes out of his apartment building and sees the parallel parked cars are completely covered in thick snow. He pulls out a credit card to clear the snow off and it is pretty useless. He then uses his briefcase to remove the foot of snow that is covering his roof. He then more or less bashes his briefcase around his car getting most of the snow off, then finished up with his credit card on the windshield.  Satisfied he can now see to drive, he pulls out his keys and clicks the beeper to unlock the door.
But...
 
The car parked in front of the one he just cleaned, beeped!
 
Oops.




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- where are the winds?
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 3 Dec 2007 08:30:54 EST
Stormy off and on yesterday, sunshiny today but flat calm on the Sir Francis Drake Channel.
Palm Grove Park, Road Town




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Back Time Tortola
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 2 Dec 2007 10:00:42 EST
Scattered rains today, not much in breezes. Temperature is 82 at 1045am. I desperately needed my sleep and was trying my best to SLEEP when at 722am, my neighbor who is building a concrete house realizes he FORGOT to put a hole and frame for his window. So he starts up his jack hammer. I laid in bed wondering, if I had a gun, and if I shot him, could I plead insanity?
 
This is the SAME guy who if you hire him to come work for you, shows up not only a day or two late, but his "first thing in the morning" to show up and work at YOUR place is 11am.
 
Grrrrrr.
 
Kim, who grew up in Tortola, is sharing a pic from the early 60's of what is now Wickhams Cay I in Road Town. Look at that gorgeous beach and palm trees. The palm trees are now part of the Palm Grove Park. Very few remain, as they chopped down quite a few to put a road through the park.  To the left of Village Cay is still the sandlot where people park cars randomly and heaven help you when you try to extract your car from that parking lot mid-day.
 
No major earthquakes lately, that last one is the talk of the island. Many didn't know WHAT is was as they had never felt a quake before.




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Drizzly
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 1 Dec 2007 07:06:36 EST
Morning started off drizzly. That is because I have a full day of outside work planned ahead.   So you can thank me for the rains.   Temps are in low 80's and nights are peacefully cool and comfy.  My home is full of overnight guests and in minutes will be overflowing with more people who have come to help a mermaid in need. Sky is patches of blues and waters are a tad choppy.  No big earthquakes, but that last one was scary!




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- MIA?
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2007 23:12:29 EST
Missing In Action?
Just a quick note that Miss Mermaid is alive and well, but may not be able to post much here for a few days. She will explain when she is able to get back to you. So sorry for this temporary interruption.  Also, if you have sent her email lately and not received a reply, do not despair, replies to all will be fourth coming.
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- 7.4 earthquake
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2007 07:55:29 EST
Yesterday at 303pm we had a 7.4 earthquake, well they show it at 3pm, maybe it took 3 minutes to reach us or my clock if off from theirs.  All is well here today, just a few scared folks.  I will write more later today.
 
SELECT EARTHQUAKE
LOCATION DATE TIME MAGNITUDE
26 miles SSE of ROSEAU, Dominica
(ID 2007kha5)
NOV 29 2007 15:00:19 AST 7.4




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Earthquake felt
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:14:37 EST
303pm and we had quite the earthquake, a 3 or 4 for sure. Will find out when they post it on the internet.  It really rattles my home enough to make me run for the door and listen for crumbling. I am in a concrete building.  Wooden structure tend to sway with it, but concrete can only move so much before it cracks and crumbles.
 
I wonder if anyone else in the StormCarib.com family of correspondents felt this?




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- busy days cool nights
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:22:15 EST
Bright clear skies, lovely weather.  Surf has kept folks busy but is receding some. Tourists are everywhere, and hurricane season is almost officially over!
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- relax yourself
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 27 Nov 2007 06:56:53 EST
Small craft advisory, dangerous surf and rip currents are expected for a few days, no hurricanes on the horizon, a few more days and Hurricane season is officially over. Now let's see if anyone told Mother Nature. We are lucky in that we did not have the dangerous wild season predicted by the authorities and thankfully no more Katrina type damages. 
 
All is well in the BVI. The papers are full of job openings, though it's hard to tell which are filled and which are available. Some have vague requests such as "must speak a 2nd language" without specifying any particular language. A few part time jobs mention working days, nights, weekends, and holidays.  Makes one wonder just how many hours come with a part time job.
 
Today the ocean is roaring in on the North Shore, you can almost smell the salt in the air and you can certainly see it on your windshield when driving. Temps are nice and cool at night with warmer days.
 
Life is Good. Come on down and relax yourself.
Amazing what you can do with a few rocks, pebbles, brick and mortar.
 
Beat the Christmas Rush and Shop with Dear Miss Mermaid's Mail Order Stores.




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Snow in de Eye Lons
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:08:24 EST
Snow in de islands?  I been so b-b-b-busy trying to keep warm, I forgot to write yesterday.
Guess dem snow birds done packed and brought EVERY T'ING with dem dis year, including dey snow!
Click here for the full size version of dis here s-s-s-s-now!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Or could it be dat shroom tea was just too good at dat fool moon party on Saturday and me be seeing t'ings?
 
April Fools?
 
Oh?  It's not April?  Well you know how us in de islands can't keep up with time nor calendars. Just last night I went out to dinner when the chef ran out of the kitchen and asked the time. Of the 5 patrons at the bar, none had a watch on. She looked crestfallen and dashed back into the kitchen.
 
I wrote a check the other day, and I dated it for October 2006 and had to tear it up and start all over. The banks here will only cash checks with the correct date within 60 days, not a year.
 
Oh the snow. You ask about dat snow.
 
Actually Mr Shipley, a faithful reader,  shares this brilliant picture with us because it does resemble Tortola covered in snow as seen from Goats Van Yikes, um Jost Van Dyke.
 
Today we continue to have scattered showers, moderate winds, rough waves, a sea swell, sunshine and beaches. Nothing exciting is forecast in the future for now. No hurricanes, no himmacanes, and thankfully no snow.
 
My Cosmic Wonders Calendar is Finally out!  Check out the view from space with a different picture captured from the Hubble Telescope featured each month in rich resolution.  You can preview the entire calendar before buying and it comes with a 30 day refund. Also, check out my Underwater Scenes and BVI Calendar




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Beautiful Days
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2007 10:48:21 EST
Wow, it's a full moon again tonight. It was quite bright last night.  Tourists are everywhere now.  "Season" has kicked off.  No snow, no hurricanes, plenty of surf, waves and swells this weekend. I went by the Friday night fish fy and came home with a mountian of $10 food that was sumptuous.  Besides the fish fry, they offered up conch, BBQ chicken, baked chicken, stewed mutton, stewed pork and oxtail plus heaven on earth, melt in your mouth Johnny cakes which is a yeast made bread deep fried.  YUMMY!
 
For lunch today I made my favorite sandwich which I call a Nutty Green Goat Wrap. 
 
Ingredients are 4 medium tortillas, 10 ounce package of frozen spinach, 5.5 ounces of goat cheese, 1/3 cup of Pine Nuts, 1  tablespoon tarragon, salt and pepper.
 
Thaw and strain the spinach, place with goat cheese in a glass bowl in the microwave for about 2-3 minutes, until cheese is softened. Add nuts and spices and stir thoroughly to make a sandwich paste.  Spread in a centered square on each tortilla, fold over the side flaps, then roll up the wrap, microwave all four for 30 more seconds.  Serves two.
 
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE:
Dear Miss Mermaid,
I'm telling my friends coming down to visit me in January on my 36' sailboat,  that the temps will be in 80's during day and probably 70's at night but we could have a shower so a few long sleeve shirts and long pants would do OK......
 
I tell guests  to bring as little as possible and no more than a carry on bag .  I don't encourage them to bring a "few" of anything! 
 
Most folks bring a mountain of stuff then wear the same 2-3 favorite outfits and buy more stuff to wear then go home with a mountain of stuff they never touched. A pair of walking sandals, a pair of shorts, 2 shirts, a bathing suit, some undies, a sarong and you're done. Wear a nice outfit to fly in, so if you need something nice you will have it. Anything else you need, you can buy here and have some wearable souvenirs.
 
I lived on a 30 foot sailboat and those that brought half the world with them found out they were sleeping with the luggage and excess. On a 36' boat you have to figure out where they are going to put their stuff and luggage.
 
I once worked a charter with 18 suitcases for 6 people. It was a nightmare. By day we had to stuff their bunks with all their luggage and by night, the 18 suitcases were transferred to the saloon, and they pretty much took up every square inch. I couldn't set the breakfast table until they got up and exited their cabins so we could stuff all the luggage back in their bunks again. To top it off, they couldn't find their stuff half the time, so they were buying souvenir T-shirts, shorts, sarongs etc.,  at every bar and store we stopped in. They finally packed to go home at the end of the charter and then as we were cleaning up the boat, we found more and more of their stuff, they left behind. What a crazy way to travel.
 
I once had another family of 8 show up for a charter and each kid had a small backpack and the parents had carry ons. We asked them if their luggage was lost. The youngest child piped up, "Nope, Dad packed for us!"
 
Dad explained that the first time he took 8 on vacation with their mountain of typical luggage, it was a nightmare. Half the luggage was lost and arrived on 3 different planes. He noticed they spent a lot of time fussing with this mountain of stuff and handing out tips left and right to help handle it, plus renting an extra taxi just to follow them around with their luggage. The next trip, he told the kids and wife to pile up on their bed everything they wanted to pack. He then went through each pile and scaled it back to carry on size only and for the younger children, backpack size only. No more checked luggage.
 
He said after they learned to pack carry on only, the vacation was truly fun. First he had no skycaps to pay tips for hauling a mountain around. No extra taxis just to haul the mountain. Second of all, while everyone else was in line at the luggage carrousel, they were already in a taxi or rental car and unpacking at the hotel or yacht, and in the pool or ocean, long before many other plane passengers had even left the airport. They never had to deal with the delays of lost luggage again. Even at the hotel, there was no need for a bevy of bellhops to haul their mountain to their rooms. When it was time to go home, they could pack in minutes, not hours.
 
Sailboat crews (such as us) instantly liked them for their frugal packing. They could easily take a two week vacation with a week in one place and a week in another, as repacking to move to second location was no big deal.
 
Going somewhere, meant no one really had time to fret over what  to wear, since they only had a few outfits to choose from. Sometimes they rinsed out the younger kids clothes in the sink or tub at night and hung it up to dry if they had gotten especially dirty. Laundry in the tropics, dries surprisingly quick.
 
Best to bring too little than too much. We have stores if you need more.
 
By the way, you have the weather prediction about right, but don't worry much about the showers.  Do like the locals, and stay out of the rain. It typically passes in 3-5 minutes.   Of course if you are sailing on a boat, this may not be possible, in that case you may want lightweight foul weather gear for the helmsman and perhaps one other person.  I would keep these on board for guests.  Everyone else can wait below until the rain passes.
 
The few rare times we have lengthy rain and you just HAVE to go out in it, your guests can always wear our local stylish emergency rain gear, aka,  jumbo garbage bags modified with a pair of scissors.
 
Remember, bring TWICE the cash and HALF the clothes.
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- NO cyclones (or snow)
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2007 10:13:34 EST
The tropical weather outlook says tropical cyclone formation is not expected during the next 48 hours.
 
Well, duh, we aren't expecting snow either in the next 48 hours, for that matter. I guess the pros have their off days too.
 
Now, I feel like a dumbbell, as I don't understand how "dumbbells around" fits in this forecast discussion:
 
ON MONDAY LOW PRESSURE CUTS OFF NEAR 22 NORTH 40 WEST AND
IS JOINED BY ANOTHER LOW FROM THE NORTHWEST ON TUESDAY WHICH
DUMBBELLS AROUND UNTIL IT IS FOUND WEST OF ANTIGUA ON SATURDAY.
 
Maybe I should go take another nap. In the good old USA today is a holiday and traditionally when the stores open up for Christmas shopping. You couldn't pay me a million cans of tuna to go battle those crowds!
 
OK I guess, I have poked fun at the weather long enough. Time for my 8th nap of the day.
Yep, I wrote today's weather report cause Dear Miss Mermaid isn't feeling well. She's draped in a wet towel and mumbling about a fever. I caught her a nice tasty mouse and placed it on the welcome mat for her, I hope that makes her all better.
 
She told me to be sure and post a pretty picture of the BVI, well what's prettier in the BVI than ME? 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Gobble Wobble
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:35:58 EST
The surf is up, sun is out and winds are moderate. The ocean is just roaring in!  I hope to go out and get some pics, but I am buried in work again. Why I am not getting rich, I do not know, but I do have loads of work to do and I think some how my days have shortened instead of lengthened. Maybe I am just spread too thin.
 
Looks like we won't have any snow for Thanksgiving, but will have a great day for the surfers.
 
Following directions around here can be tricky. The last few years have brought on a plethora of new roads (often unpaved) and lots of new building. The map makers office is having trouble keeping up with all this and the current maps do show all the main and older roads, but many of the new ones are still left off.
 
When giving or receiving directions to somewhere unfamiliar,  it is best to just agree to meet at the nearest bar and then follow them or have them follow you.  Of course there are some areas of Tortola that do not have nearby bars (can you imagine that?) I mean that is how fast this place is growing in leaps and bounds.
 
Sooooooooo...
 
I was given directions to go to a home I had never been to before, and it was no where near ANY bars, so I thought I could find it anyhow on my own.  My friend said the road is rough and you need four wheel drive and the driveway is only slightly overgrown because we don't use it much, we walk a path through the woods from another  road, since we don't have 4 wheel drive, but since you do, you can drive right up to the house and not miss it. That's easier than trying to find the other road and the path, cause if you park in the wrong place on the other road, those neighbors get irate, and you might have trouble finding the path and such.
 
Tee hee hee.  Sounds like an adventure! So off I went!
 
"Turn at the gate, Slightly Overgrown driveway... don't worry, you have 4 wheel drive don't you?" said my friend.
 
This may be one long Thanksgiving Day...
 
 




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- Twas the Day before Thanksgiving
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2007 07:52:50 EST
Cloudy and overcast again at 830am. Temperatures have cooled right down to cuddly weather. All the fur babies piled in my bed last night to snuggle up and pretend they were cold too.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and although it's not a BVI holiday, some places will offer up traditional Thanksgiving dinners like at Oscars on Frenchman's Cay will serve the full fare.
 
Jolly Roger will have a gathering of bring your own dish to share and they will provide turkeys and drinks at the usual cost. While Americans are the mainstay in tourism here, there aren't that many living here full time. Usually the thanksgiving parties around the islands, are well attended but with Americans being in the minority.
 
I remember my first Thanksgiving here on my small sailboat, I went ashore all alone and wandered into a restaurant who inquired if I was American. Admitting that I was, they presented me with a free turkey dinner!  Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised, and this tradition went on several years, but I think those days of generosity are long gone. Or maybe too many Americans around now to offer up free dinners too.
 
Of course we do have a lot of Canadians here and it's hard to tell them apart from the Americans, unless they are French Canadians who tend to speak in French or with a French accent. The rest tend to speak like so many other northern Americans. The Canadians say they like to celebrate on the US Thanksgiving holiday because their Thanksgiving was the second Monday in October. For all the Canadians that live here, I sure don't remember any of them ever having a Thanksgiving party and I know a lot of Canadians. Maybe it's a celebration they do in private.
    
Of course theirs are probably different from American Thanksgiving holidays where you gather around with your family and close friends and celebrate life and freedom and love and Turkey and practically worship food.
 
Back in the dark ages, when I lived in America, I had a lovely old house with a large dining room that also housed the piano and other musical instruments. I used to serve up a day long  orphan's dinner party for my friends who had no where to be on Thanksgiving, either they had no family or they were too far away. It seemed it was mostly eccentric musicians and artists, and I remember the piano and fireplace both going non stop.
 
I also did none or little of the cooking, as it seemed my friends quickly overtook the kitchen while  I set the table, played piano, poked the fire and answered the door. Ah, the good old days...
 
Today,  America is expecting a huge storm in the middle of the country that could disrupt travel plans for many. I hope the airport restaurants will try to offer up something festive in case some are forced to miss their holiday dinners on Thursday.
 
So an early Happy Thanksgiving to all my gentle readers who hail from that part of the world!
Gobble Gobble!  Using creative cut outs from tin foil and then covering the rest of the turkey in sage and paprika,  you too can create a unique memorable Turkey...
 
For more holiday ideas, click here.




Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

- No Snow Yet!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:32:22 EST
Waves are crashing in, winds are slight, overcast skies come and go like the sands of time.
Yep, that's a BIG cruise ship coming into port at Road Town. It dwarfs out little islands!




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Dwip Dwop Dwip Dwip
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:09:01 EST
Cold and drizzly, not like the Caribbean at all!  Visibility has been reduced to 1/4 mile at times. Maybe this will end out temporary heat wave. Whew!
 
Oh Look!  Remember a few weeks ago I told you we had this top secret program to grow cars on Tortola?  Well, I found this top secret dump truck growing in an undisclosed location.  It's even growing a spare tire in the background and a transfer case in front of the truck. Maybe they haven't perfected how to grow a truck all in one piece. I guess the growth under the dump truckbed is growing the hydraulics to operate the dumper. I am going to keep my eye on this one, as harvest appears to be SOON!




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Hubba Hubble
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 18 Nov 2007 08:09:02 EST
If we were all there, then we wouldn't be here!
 
We have had a little heat wave here that has sent folks scurrying for cover, icy drinks, icy cloths, pools, oceans, you name it, just to cool off. So odd to have a heat wave THIS time of year. The weather gone crazy mon, just like us.
 
Even I who drink copious amounts of water, was out for the day in a non-air conditioned car and forgot my big straw hat. Several times my appointments consisted of waiting for people in odd places. I was proud to be on time and let them be late, though one was a no show, after I waited  over an hour in the hot sun.  
 
I think I missed a day posting here, that cause I been crazy too and lost track of time.  Finally I came home, all dizzy and confused, drank icy water with apple cider vinegar  and laid down, thoroughly wasted, I think I dozed off into a deep sleep 2 seconds later. I was waiting on friends to arrive and was sure I would wake up when they arrived. Instead I woke up wondering where I was and what happened. I guess I didn't get enough Sea Salt in my system, too much water and not enough sea salt makes for a bad combo.
 
In talking with friends the next day, I ran into many who had the same symptoms, like we had been lulled by the fact it was November and heat waves are supposed to be long gone, and POOF you feel faint all the time.
 
Today is overcast and sunny, the sky can't decide. Winds are gentle, enough for a lazy sail.
 
 
View From a Porthole
Sun Setting over St John
 
My 2008 Hubble Calendar will be out SOON, what's a hubble?  It's the name of the telescope in the sky snapping pictures of the heavens!
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Turn Right at the sign...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 16 Nov 2007 10:20:49 EST
Nice spring like weather here today. Sun making more of a presence today. 82.5 degrees on my thermometer. Not sure why it goes to a 1/10th of a degree!   Twelve feet away my other one says 82.4 degrees. Hmm.   So if I am hot, or cold, I know which side of the room to sit on.
 
Turn right WHERE???
Yesterday at 3pm, it was still overcast and hazy. St Thomas in the background can barely be seen.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Cruzins
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 15 Nov 2007 08:56:47 EST
We've got that tropic wave south east of us, that should pass south of us, and we have our fingers crossed on this. Surfers have been happy the past few days with nice big fat rollers coming in. The surf flu spreads each day...
 
It's a bit overcast today with light winds and big swells and a nice surf.  Skies are fighting to turn blue but I don't feel much rain in the air, but it could happen.
 
'
Cruzin, a new restaurant, recently opened in Carrot Bay. Lena and Peter are running the place nightly with tasty delights such as Conch Chowder, Pates (pat-tees) made of Conch or Beef or vegetarian, grilled homemade pizzas and other nightly specials that vary from day to day. You can belly up to the bar painted in bright Caribbean colors, dine under cover or in large wicker chairs under umbrellas. Parking and restrooms are available. Lena's mother used to have a restaurant in the same spot under a different name years ago and she was famous for her pates, so Lena is carrying on that traditional, though she gave the property a complete make-over.
 
Pates are meat or veggie filled pastries fried or baked and can ben eaten by hand. Cruzin's are so big, they slice them into thirds for you. Being a conch lover, I bet you can guess I've had to sample the conch ones several times this week!  Theirs comes with a healthy crunchy coleslaw or a green salad. 
 
950am and da current done mash up again!  Lawdy mercy. Dat elec-tricky corporation gonna drive us batty, dey promise da current done fix up right, but how come we got dese outages all da time?  Tell me what's right about dat? 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Ya Gotta Be Crazy Mon...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 14 Nov 2007 07:20:08 EST
Well it's starting to clear up some today after raining off and on all day yesterday. We never got the promised thunderstorms, but we did a lot of drizzly rains.
 
I was reading the Area Forecast Discussion for today and I quote;
 
"NEXT TROPICAL DISTURBANCE IS FORECAST TO PASS WELL SOUTH OF THE
LOCAL AREA OVER THE SECOND HALF OF THE UPCOMING WEEKEND."
 
I think that was VERY fancy way of saying "The next tropical disturbance is forecast to pass south of us Sunday".
 
Now, being that this forecast was for Puerto Rico, we are about a day away weather wise, so for us, should be Saturday (the first half of the upcoming weekend!). 
 
Would this same forecaster say "There are two churches in Carrot Bay, one meets on the first half of the weekend and the other on the second half of the weekend?"  in place of Saturday and Sunday. Is it now politically correct to refer to Sunday as the "second half of the weekend?"  Have I missed something AGAIN in this complicated world we live in?
 
Today is back to a wonderfully boring day weather wise, sun is out, clouds are scattered, winds are moderate, just peachy all around.
 
Now for our comedy, it never ceases to amaze me that t'ings be different here, mon. For instance what do you think our Public Works employees do on a rainy day?
 
A- Work indoors making signs "Warning, Ferocious Speed Bump Ahead (guaranteed to bang your head and brake your front axle  if you hit it over 3 mph)
 
B- Organize their warehouse and repair truck brakes in the covered garage (Remember when they crashed into the Bakery, hitting patrons at their tables, because their brakes failed?)
 
C- Paint outdoors
 
Well if you chose A or B, forget it, you are not cut out to work for the government here.
 
The correct answer is C, paint outdoors when it is raining.
 
Even though this picture was taken after sunset, you can still see a trail of water in the other lane from the traffic and frequent rains. Also note that, this paint is NOT reflective and they have painted right where the tires go so it wears off quicker. Why not paint the whole dang bump and then at least when the tires wear through the paint, the middle will still be painted?  Why take all this time to neatly mark off and tape the bumps so that they are two strips, wouldn't it be faster, just to spray the whole bump in one swoop?
 
But heck, nobody asked me! 
 
So the whole neighborhood had these detours around the painted speed bumps. A while back when they repaved the road near the Sugar Mill on the North Shore, they cleverly covered up a speed bump and the shade from the trees made it blend in perfectly and it was almost invisible, but oh my GOODNESS,  when you hit that thang, KER BOOM! 
 
We had a comedy of disasters there. One driver hit it hard, then slammed on the brakes, not knowing what they had hit and apparently hit the brakes hard enough that their air bag was deployed and broke their sunglasses, leaving curious bruise marks on their face. Another driver was riding with a passenger and both had forgotten to wear their seat belts (it's a law here now, we got tons of new laws here now) and they did the same thing, but not having air bags, their passenger hit the windshield knocking it out. A day or so later, a good Samaritan came along and painted the speed bump before more disasters could happen.
 
Which, why to the motorcycle drivers here insist on wearing their helmets without the strap?  Time and time again, I see the strap flapping in the wind as a scooter or motorcycle zooms past me on a hairpin curve up or downhill. The least little bump and that helmet is going to be the first thing to fly off.
 
I even saw much to my horror, a large pickup truck, swerve out of his lane, and his mirror hit the helmet of a oncoming motorcycle rider. However, because he hadn't bothered to strap it on, the helmet flew off but the driver was still more or less upright as he wobbled to a stop to retrieve his head gear. The pickup did not stop. Shame shame shame, even though they had a comp nay logo painted on the side of the truck and could be readily identified. Duh.
 
On more strange traffic notes...
 
I went to the bank machine at Sopers Hole.  About 10 huge taxis, the kind built on mammoth truck beds, were hogging the streets and folks were forced to detour into the parking lot to get around them.  The parking lot had an empty spot, so  I pulled in and parked. Now imagine this if you can, huge taxis are blocking the tiny roadway on th eleft and right side, even though there is room for them to pull OFF the road they won't and NOBODY knows why. 
 
I am parked in a marked parking spot OFF the road. So who gets yelled at, me or the taxi driver when a woman shows up and can't get around in her monstrous SUV that seats 12 and "is she alone" as dey say here,  she rolls down her window and yells at me!  "You can't park there you crazy woman!"  Note:  it is the TAXIS which are blocking the road, not me!  Life be crazy here, mon, crazy.
 
It's one thing to visit here and have a blast on your vacation, but it's entirely ANOTHER to come live here. I was once told by a close friend, who was VERY serious;
 
"You got to be CRAZY to live on Tortola. If you aren't crazy when you get here, then if you stay, it make you crazy!  The folks who move here (and are sane rather than crazy at the time)  and you see them move away again, usually within a year or so,  cause island life ain't for them, they think WE be crazy and since they sane, they move away, so THAT'S why Tortola got only crazy people living here. "
 
Makes sense to me!  World's largest open air asylum...hmm, maybe I should design a T Shirt for that...
 
Don't forget to check out my calendars, they make great Christmas gifts.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Stark and Dormy
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2007 09:32:56 EST
It's dark and stormy here. The elec-tricky corporation pulled the plug on us again last night. I woke up and tried to call them, but they wouldn't answer their phone, no matter how many times I tried to call them. Yesterday, I just got through throwing out food destroyed by the frequent power outages so I am not a happy camper.  I found blue butter and green cheese among other things too ghastly to mention. I guess in figuring up food costs here, you have to add in elec-tricky spoilage too.
 
The fact that it's gloomy and drizzly today fits my mood exactly, but I've got work to do and need to try to be cheerful about it anyhow.
Here's a picture to cheer us all up!  A porthole into paradise!
 
And if I drag my brain looking for  good news, I must say, I fell out of my chair when my cell phone rang AGAIN today. It has not worked for months.  Ever since they "liberalized" communications here, we have suffered greatly. Calls and visits to the cell phone company have produced nothing but shrugged shoulders and indifference. I have felt ripped off paying for a phone that very rarely ever works. I hate to give up the number, I've had since my sailing days and friends from all  over the world have that number to reach me by, so once I change or lose it, I lose contact with a lot of traveling folks like me. Even though thte calls never go through, they at least get voice mail to reach me at another number. 
 
However, out of the clear blue, I guess the phone company decided to fix their cell tower, as suddenly, I am getting all manner of calls on my cell phone. I am in shock. It is so convenient to have a phone again!  WOW.
 
More drizzly rains and darkening skies since I began writing this. Not much in winds, just a gust now and then. The temps have cooled considerably and I may have to put on my fuzzy slippers to keep my tootsies warm.
 
Christmas is just around the corner and if you are clueless what to buy someone, buy one or two or ten of my calendars, one is underwater scenes and the other is BVI scenes. Both are jumbo sized and printed on heavy paper for seriously writing notes on the big blocks of dates.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Red Sunsets
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2007 11:46:00 EST
Another nice day, just gentle winds and some clouds. The promised rains haven't come but we have had some incredible red sunsets from thanks to the Sahara dust.
 
Well, as I write this, the heavens opened up and poured forth the rains!  Ha ha.
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Wish you were here!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 10 Nov 2007 22:46:34 EST
Weather is here, wish you were too.
 
Balmy days with lots of scattered sunshine and breezy tradewinds.
 
The BVI Calendar is out and it's HUGE!  Each picture is a hefty 17 by 11 inches.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Ooops
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 9 Nov 2007 20:54:46 EST
Ooops!  A whole day went by and I forgot to send in my report!
 
However, Bullwinkle sent me his and I shall give you his report and cheat today:
Caribbean, Grrr
A stationery front that has lingered over the Western Caribbean Sea is FINALLY moving to the East. We must remember that with Southwesterly steering currents contained within this system, it displaced nearly a MILLION PEOPLE in Southern Mexico and Central America along its tail with torrential rains and flooding and mudding. Grrr
 
It looks innocent enough but because of its slow movement and the amount of moisture it has been drawing up off the Caribbean Sea everyone from Panama to the Virgin Islands best pay very close attention. Don't be surprised by anything that has to do with potential isolated rains. Grrr    ABC's pay attention!
 
It has passed Hispanola so they are fortunately off the hook but paid the price over the past three weeks, as did Jamaica. :(
*****
 
Remember the fisherman who was thrown in BVI prison for a year because he couldn't pay a $46,000 fine for fishing without a license?  Well, miracles happen and the Governor pardoned him and out of prison he was finally sprung after 6 weeks of living with murderers and other unsavory characters. Read more here.
I am slow on the gossip, Monday night 8 people returning from the Willy T floating Bar and Restaurant crashed into a dock piling in Road Town and all 8 went to the hospital. Only 2 have been released. Yikes!




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Shark Fins and Elbows
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 8 Nov 2007 09:44:17 EST
Another wonderful day in the islands. We had some rains last night that kept everything nice and cool. We have a broad area of low pressure spread across the central and eastern Caribbean. We can expect scattered rains throughout the day and isolated thunderstorms. Gee, doesn't that sound fun!
 
Well, I was just mailing this report off, when the rains started coming down, and before I finished this sentence, they stopped again!
 
Washed Ashore in a Bottle of Ale was this message from Mr Piddington:
I here that the surf will be up next week, but was that a shark fin waiting behind the breaker on your picture posted October 25th??
Ok, so SOMEBODY finally noticed! Congratulations to Mr Piddington for his sharp eye. Here is a reprint of the pic, zoomed in as best as my budget camera allows. It's actually a surfer who fell down and I was trying to capture the waterspray without the surfer but instead that is his sleeved elbow showing above the water, as he was wearing a black rash  guard long sleeve shirt (prevents sun burn and nipple rash from the board).
 
I saw the eerie shark fin effect this created and posted the picture, thinking an avalanche of "Oh my Goodness, is that a shark?" email would follow, but only Mr Piddington wrote about this. He actually wrote me the next day, but somedays I forget to check the seashore for bottles.
 
Matter of fact, if you are prone to sunburns but love the outdoors, you can get these special shirts in lightweight fabric for the Caribbean, they prevent sunburn, and dry quickly and as you strut around, folks may mistake you for a surfer dude or chick. See rash guard shirts for sale here.
 
And for more foolishness:
 
Holy Pirate shares with us a picture and recipe for his upcoming Thanksgiving Dinner. Go take a peek at the picture, it might give you some creative  ideas...




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Sunnny and cloudy
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2007 15:21:24 EST
A bit of rain last night, just to make a liar out of me. Nothing untoward for the next few days, just lovely paradise. Temps are in mid 80's today with gentle trade winds and we can expect the same for a few more days.
 
This note washed up in an old Milk Jug from North Carolina (Milk is the State Drink of NC since 1987, talk about a wholesome state!)
Love your posts on StormCarib.com 
Here are pic’s from –Outer Banks of NC during/after Noel
http://surfkdh.com/2007/nov3rd/photos.html 
Of course the temps and waves are not as great as yours—but they are awesome.
Signed,
Freesong in NC
 
Dear Freesong,
    Those are some awesome waves and photos. Shame you have to have a storm to get those.  Last I recall the Atlantic was kind of c-c-c-c-cold this time of year.  Thanks for sharing!
 
***
On a slightly sad note:
 
I don't know how many people read these reports from Tortola and how many read them from afar, one can only guess.  But Tortola is having a rental crisis of affordable properties for rent for workers. Many locals have contacted me asking me if I know of places for rent. The real estate companies offer up some rentals, but they are super pricey, for those making mega salaries. If you already make $100,000+ per year, then you can find some rentals, though many would require you make a much higher sum of money. 
 
If you are making less $100,000 a year on Tortola,  then heaven help you! I surveyed the Real Estate companies on line today and found quite a shocker! 
 
I know what I make and what my friends make and what ordinary jobs that don't come with super salaries pay. And the rentals just aren't here anymore to match with the jobs. Where did these rentals go? I have a list of friends who are being tossed out of their apartments because the landlords are jacking up the rent well beyond their means. Employers are not handing out mega raises to keep up with the mega rent increases.
 
Are we going to create poverty here, when we've never had poverty here before?
 
There is no appeal process here that I know of. If you get the boot from your landlord, you have to go and if the landlord feels like doubling your rent, too bad for you.
 
If anyone on island knows of ANY affordable rentals for good people who pay their bills, please email me. Even if you just live here and want to comment, that's OK too. But WHERE are the affordable rentals? I am rapidly acquiring a long list of people in search of places to live, who work here at ordinary jobs. If they are forced to leave Tortola, WHO will take their jobs? Where will they live?  We have near zero unemployment here. This is a new problem, that years ago, would have sent folks laughing their head off at the absurdity of it.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Surf's Up!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 6 Nov 2007 14:34:58 EST
Bright, dry and breezy today. We expect prefect weather conditions for the next 3 days, after that, well we could be in for some more rains. Time will tell, but that's what the crystal ball says today.
 
 
So far it's not been the record breaking hurricane season promised by the forecasters, but heck, we still have a few weeks to go and anything could happen, but probably won't.  US Thanksgiving Day may be bringing us welcome relief that we can safely settle into winter and along with it the snow birds and turds that show up.
 
Ooops!  Did I say that? It slipped right out. I meant to say the snow birds and herds. I already sent my blankets out to be washed and fluffed, just in case the temperatures plummet. My new place, well it's old, but still new to me, came with seemingly everything except it  has no clothes washer.  One day I hope to rectify this situation.  When you send stuff out, it usually comes back OK, sometimes not, it's a gambling match.
 
Of course if you just leave your undies at Bomba's, he doesn't wash them either, just hangs them up as decor.
I thought this vintage surf bug was awfully cute, even if it is parked in the road, it's the islands, that's how we park here. Just stop where you please and get out, let traffic go around you.
 
I grew up with a father that drove one of these for years until his fancy superiors suggested a bank vice president should drive something more regal.  He ignored them and continued to drive his bug, so finally they coughed up a company car for him. I think he planned it that way all along.
 
My mother drove a VW van which we always referred to as the bus. You would think from the choice of cars, my parents were hippies, but they weren't.  How little they knew, that their chosen vehicles would become all the rage, years later and had they kept them just a tad longer, they would become collectors editions. I imagine both are somewhere still running with newer engines, as they kept them immaculate up until they sold or traded them in.   I read somewhere a family had driven their VW camper van for 40 years and were on their 6th engine! 
 
Suzuki jeeps such as mine, have the reverse problem, the engines last forever but the body needs replacing every 10-15 years (tee hee hee).




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Lully Byes
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 5 Nov 2007 10:54:47 EST
The waves roll into the shore, in a nice lullaby lull, the sun is out, though patches of dark clouds hover around, gentle trade winds keep things cool and temps are in the low 80's.  Just another fantastic day in paradise.
 
All I need is a hammock under the trees near the shore, and I could lay there all day and let the waves put me to sleep then stay up all night and study this new visible Comet.
 
At night, you might be able to see  Comet 17P/Holmes that recently exploded and brightened and now is visible to the naked eye (nude sight?)  The comet can be seen in the northern sky, in the constellation Perseus, as a fuzzy spot of light about as bright as the stars in the Big Dipper.
 
The Charter Yacht show is wrapping up at Village Cay in Road Town, as folks work from sun up polishing stainless steel to a mirror finish, waxing hulls, cleaning their boat with toothbrushes and Q tips, to make sure it looks positively radiant for the visiting yacht brokers to inspect and meet the latest crews. 
 
Somebody should tell these brokers to wear what we in de islands call slippers. In de islands mon, any shoe that you can slide on and off like flip-plops or strapless Crocs, or simple sandals, are called slippers.
In the Caribbean it is customary to go barefoot (foot nude) on yachts.  Captains and crews have placed fuzzy rugs on the docks for brokers to remove their shoes, wipe their feet and come aboard without tracking up a huge mess. But still we have some brokers with lace up shoes and socks, taking 15 minutes at each boat to put their shoes on and off, some of the ladies are teetering around in high heels, that require buckles and straps.  We laugh behind their backs, WHERE did they think they were coming to?
 
I remember once taking a job on a Florida based motor yacht and I was working barefoot, cause that's the way I had done t'ings in de islands mon. Next t'ing I know, the captain is  presenting me these ridiculous black high heeled shoes to wear while I work. I thought it was a joke and burst out laughing, but he was  dead serious..
 
So here I am in a galley with this marble floor (horrible choice and extremely uncomfortable when you work standing up on it 12 hours a day and more) click clacking around in these ridiculous black heels against a white uniform. I could hardly make it up and down the ladders and gangways with these comedic shoes.
 
Finally, I parked them at the edge of the galley entrance and worked barefoot, then when the owner was around, I put them back on and click clacked in great discomfort around the galley. The owner's family was short on manners, and I didn't take too kindly to  an 8 and  12 year old ordering me around rudely, so as my trial date neared, they offered me permanent employment and I told them I had enough trials with them already and would probably seek my fortune elsewhere, but I would finish out the grace period, long enough for them to interview and find a replacement.
 
Besides, the captain was a strange sort.  Somehow he had campaigned and won plush red carpet for his engine room. Yes. Plush red carpet. In an engine room. I guess the stainless steel diamond plate wasn't good enough for him and his oily generators, engines, pumps and air conditioner compressors. Well, one evening, I was down there trying to do laundry, the washer was stuck between the engine and a generator, with a side opening washer, and a large wake hit the boat and we rocked wildly, as I was trying to pour some bleach into the washer and guess what, three tiny drops landed on the plush red carpet and though I rushed to wipe it up, it was too late. Three tiny specks of white bleached carpet appeared in front of the washer  to mock me. 
 
Later that evening, when I went to retrieve the wash load, I opened up the engine room door, and there sat the captain in his birthday suit, snorting cocaine and drinking a martini while Bruce Springsteen 's Born in the USA song, blared on a boom box in the corner. 
 
I kid you not.
 
Apparently the engine room was where he hid from the owners and had his own little party going. After all it was sound proof, and outfitted with red carpet and a chair he had squeezed in there with a little folding table to hold his drink and cocaine, the boom box was secured to a shelf nearby.   He began yelling, screaming and berating me, for first intruding on him, and then for spilling the bleach, and the white powder was coming back out of his nose, creating a little cloud around his head,  it reminded me of an angry bull snorting in the cold air and I just burst out laughing, thinking this coke sniffing drunk nude captain, couldn't possibly be serious.
 
I packed my things, while he continued to rant and rave,  and took the yacht's company car to a nearby plush  hotel and checked in for the night. I called the crew agency the next morning, and explained to them that I could not and would not continue to work on this crazy yacht and a coke sniffing captain was nothing but trouble that I wanted no part of, I just wanted my pay and money for the hotel and I would happily return the yacht's company car. Oh, and by the way, could you find me another position on a yacht  with more reasonable crew and owners.
 
Apparently, in those days, it was fashionable in south Florida to do cocaine, and I was treated more like the odd man out, than the dope fiend. Anyhow, it took the owners 3 days to get around to paying me off, and meanwhile I am staying in this plush hotel and driving their car to interviews, all at their expense. I charged them for the extra 3 days too while I interviewed for more positions. I was holding the car and the hotel bill hostage while they coughed up my pay. They wanted me to come back to the yacht and finish out the month, but my contract specified "NO ILLEGAL DRUGS"  so I refused to go back and risk my freedom over someone else's poor choices.
 
I took the next job, sight unseen, but the owners just seemed like such wonderful folks. I had to fly to Venezuela to pick up the yacht. Fortunately, it  was aboard a gorgeous custom 140 foot sailboat with amicable owners who had real class and excellent manners and who thought it quite normal for the crew to go barefoot. Matter of fact, on that next yacht, they positively loved me and we had a fun happy year traversing the Caribbean Seas in plush style, even though our engine room had the usual stainless steel diamond plate flooring.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Sometimes the time is right...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 4 Nov 2007 11:09:02 EST
A reason to the season, it's currently raining with the sun out, so at least  it dries up quickly. Waves were out yesterday, but I foolishly forgot my camera. Argh! 
 
It's so nice to see sunshine again!  I can get my tan back now and not look so pasty. I know we are spoiled, and have probably whined far too much about the clouds of pre-Noel that plagued us. And as usual, NO snow is predicted this year!  Yippee!
 
It's in the low 80's today with gentle trade winds. We did NOT change our time last night.  We don't believe in Daylight Savings Time. It's a hoax. It sure puts everyone to an awful lot of trouble and confuses us all.  Locally we feel no changes, we don't change our time, and the only effect we feel is our TV schedule changes so that now if we want to catch a movie, it comes on much later than before.
 
Yesterday, a friend and I were working on my heap of a jeep. I had gone to town to buy some parts and had forgotten a critical one. He picked up the errant part and brought it to me,  since he was going to town anyhow.  We had to disconnect the battery to work and later when we connected it, I asked him the time, since he was wearing a watch.  Now that in itself is rare, the vast majority of people here both born here, transplanted here and visiting here, do NOT wear a watch. Toe rings yes, watches no. If you took a census, I bet toe rings out number watches worn by 100-1.
 
Before he could answer, he moved his wrist and I could see his watch read 5:50pm, so I was setting the clock, and remarking on how time flies when your're having fun and I had no idea it was so late. He then pulled out his cell phone and announced it was 345pm. So I said, "Oh, your watch is wrong then." 
 
He remarked "It's got a mind of it's own and it keeps random time."
 
So curiosity got the best of me, and I asked "So why do you wear it if the time is wrong?"
 
Like a true islander he remarked in all seriousness "Well, I wear it cause sometimes the time is right."
 
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kay.....   Having lived in the islands 20+ years, this answer actually made sense to me, so I nodded my head and gave him a knowing look.
 
Now, we have to remember when calling businesses around the world, that they have probably changed their time even though we didn't.   Argh!  But sometimes the time is right.....
 
 
The BVI Tourist Board and government needs to  sit up and pay attention. Articles about this fisherman story are being published worldwide, making the BVI look downright unfriendly. I sure don't advocate breaking the law, but in this case, the punishment is far too severe given the victimless non-violent crime.  The couple had NO fish on their  boat and were not commercially fishing and HOW the heck are you supposed to know whose waters you are drifting in, when St Thomas and Tortola are so close and there are no buoys marking the boundaries? 
 
Take heed, do NOT fish in the BVI waters or anywhere near them, unless you have proper BVI licenses to do so.
 
Our neighbor,  St Thomas, on the US side,  was recently voted the "worst" island to visit by National Geographic Traveler. Out of a possible score of 100, they scored the lowest at 37. The number one reason being the overcrowding from the Cruise Ship Passengers. Well DUH, Tortola is suffering from the same problem. I hope the government here wakes up and scales back our cruise ship arrivals, before we end up on the bottom of the same list!  Read more here.
 
Tortola scored much higher than St Thomas, but with cautions that we had TOO MUCH Cruise Ship traffic and I agree whole heartedly. Read the report here.  Out of a possible score of 100, Tortola struggled at 61 and their rating describes our score as "50-65: In moderate trouble: all criteria medium-negative or a mix of negatives and positives."
The full report from National Geographic Traveler can be found here.
 
Needless to say, I Love the BVI, it is the top destination for chartering a sailboat and we do have wonderful friendly people both born here and transplanted here.  We do have spectacular beaches and unique accommodations.  I just hope the new government  will lean the other way and let our beauty shine through, without overdeveloping us with large resorts and numerous cruise ship arrivals.
 
We need to adhere to our former slogan "Nature's Little Secrets" and fiercely take steps to protect nature above and under the water here.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- gorgeous
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 3 Nov 2007 16:04:42 EDT
Weather is back to normal here. Lots of sunshine, skies clearing up, waves are moderate and a few surfers are out. Next Monday and Tuesday should be great days for surfing with 5-7 foot swells and 10 seconds apart. I must get out and try to go get some pictures of sunshine!
 
Temperatures are typical mid 80's with low humidity, which one can't really feel because the tradewinds are so prolific.
 
 
As I try to type this out, my little black fur baby is laying next to me on his back, as I rub his belly. Every time I stop, he is like a reverse squeaky toy, he lets out a squeak and stares at me with those penetrating vivid green eyes. When I resume rubbing his belly, while trying to type with one hand, his eyes roll back into his head and he looks positively goofy. I guess it doesn't take much to make a cat happy.
 
 
 
My latest creation can be found on 38 long and short sleeved shirts, coffee mugs and so on. Click here to see more. All profits (if any) support my food habit.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Gutsy
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 09:23:24 EDT
Naughty Noel who meandered through here bringing us cloudy skies and lots of frequent rains, is now big bad Nasty Noel the hurricane with 80mph winds headed for the southeastern US with gale force winds aimed at Bermuda. Noel is growing in size, to make sure we end our hurricane season with a noisy Noel bang!
 
Here it is overcast and cloudy with gusty winds now and then.
 
 
 
Many of you wrote about the outrage of the man imprisoned in the BVI for 9 months in lieu of a $46,000 fine.  For more info or to make a donation for his release, click here.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Bag Dogs
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 1 Nov 2007 16:02:05 EDT
It was still quite overcast yesterday. Today it is trying to clear up and be nice and sun shiny!  Surfing was good yesterday, even though it was really overcast all day.
 
I am accidentally the latest coconut telegraph news. Dang!
 
Tuesday night, I went to track down a phone-less person, who can help me with a problem. I ended up at one of their haunts, the Bomba Shack. We gazed out to sea, watching the surfers,  and I took a bunch of surf photos while we chatted. After awhile, I decided to use the ladies room.  Meanwhile the Rugby Club and a a pit bull dog (their mascot?) had arrived and were congregated around the  bar talking loudly.
 
I assumed, that since the dog was in a public place, he was well behaved and trained. I was dead wrong!  As I walked by I was suddenly chased down and attacked by the dog!  I screamed my fool head off, because I do not like being attacked by a dog. It scared the dog away, me screaming and running.
 
I came out of the ladies room, thinking they had control of their dog by now, and incredibly the dog came after me again!  Duh!  Is this the BLIND Rugby team or what?
 
I ran for my jeep, hopped in and came home to nurse my wounds.
 
Now I have a big dark nasty bruise where the bog bit my tail, and it's in a bad place, no where you want to show in public.
 
I went out to take pics again yesterday and everyone I ran into asked about my dog bite. Talk about an efficient coconut telegraph. Phone calls have poured in and lots of votes to put the dog down, that once they bite they keep on biting.
 
I am pretty shook up.  I have owned a lot of dogs, but I always trained them to behave in public and to take my commands.  I never had a dog bite anyone.
 
Though one time, this guy was irritating me, matter of fact, I had asked him to leave my home, as he was an uninvited intruder who showed up at my door.  He was on my front porch and I wouldn't let him inside. He didn't want to leave and I had come outside, locking my door behind me.  My dog came out with me and very  matter of factly walked over to him, lifted a leg and  peed on his cowboy boots.
 
I couldn't stop laughing, the uninvited guest was hopping mad, but he GOT THE POINT and left. He never came back either.  I had that dog for about 10 years, and it was the only time she did something that outrageous.  But also, I think it was the only time I encountered an unwanted guest on my porch.
 
I like dogs, but now I am real jumpy around them. Tortola seems to have too many pit bulls and these types of dogs just seem incorrigible. Where I used to live were a bunch of pit bulls belonging to my neighbor and they were problematic, attacking people and biting people. I don't get it. Why does anyone want to own a dog that is not social and apparently can't be trained to be social.
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Trick or Treat!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:22:54 EDT
The day is beautiful, though slightly overcast. Waves are up and surfers are out and having a blast!
 
Happy Halloween! 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- SUNSHINE!!!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 30 Oct 2007 10:59:15 EDT
Sunshine! Sunshine!  Sunshine!  I have nearly faded into a pasty ghostly color, so I am SO excited to get my tan back.  Who ever heard of a tanless mermaid?
 
My heap of a jeep left me walking last night. First time in a long time. Last time was because I ran out of gas. This time I ran out of light!
 
Yep, stayed out past dark and went to go home and the lights wouldn't come on. The sad thing is, at home, sat a brand new headlamp. One light would have got me home. When I first went out driving, I had two high beams and no low beams.
 
I just went out to fetch some dinner, the fridge was bare, thanks to all these power outages from the elec-tricky corporation, leaving me moldy provisions and none looked the least bit tempting.   I am between banana harvests, so no fresh fruit falling in my lap lately.
 
The papaya tree has only a few promising babies, gotta give it more lovin to grow bigger!  I was headed to the grocery store, but realized I needed to talk to a phone-less friend, who can usually be found in one of the neighborhood bars, so I ended up at the bar, ordering food to go, passing a message onto my phone-less friend and out the door again.  As I drove past the dishwasher, who was leaning under a tree on his break, he said, "Miss you need to turn your lights on!' and I stopped and said "Um, they ARE on."
 
The road home was lonely and dark and the moon was obscured by clouds, so I ended up leaving the car at the restaurant and hitchhiking home. *sigh*
 
Do you know what happens when you hitchike with a pizza?
 
Everyone wants your pizza.
 
So,  I made it home, minus half a pizza.  
 
 
 
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Naughty Noel & Remebering Lowell
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 29 Oct 2007 11:35:47 EDT
Yep, TD16 is now Tropical Storm Noel, the 14th name storm of the season.  Noel conjures up fond memories of Christmas, not some nasty storm producing life threatening storms. These meteorologists need to think up ferocious names for these storms, not cutesy stuff like Noel. How about at least Naughty Noel?
 
It is drying up here, still overcast, but not as dark as the past few days. The winds are up, the surf is up and it's warmed up enough for me to take my fuzzy slippers off and once again go barefoot (or foot nude as my funny French friend says).  We were one day past, leaving the beach to go into a restaurant and she asked me "Is it OK to go foot nude?"  So foot nude I am today, once again.
 
It is back to 83 degrees though last night it was in the low 70's and I slept wrapped up in my afghan for warmth. I see a few sailboats traversing the north shore, grateful for the non rains.
 
In the meantime, I am quite busy, always trying to figure out ways to pay my pesky bills. They keep coming back every month, even though I paid them last month!  But I am proud to say that finally, I am able to offer you Trip Insurance.  I had hoped to have this ready before storm season, but heck, t'ings take time in de islands mon and I just got approved.
 
Anyhow, now you can buy insurance for your vacation to here or anywhere and get covered in the event of a weather or medical emergency as well as a host of other unforeseeable disasters. As it is now, if you don't have trip insurance and choose to evacuate early from your vacation due to bad weather, or bad health, or bad accident, you end up losing your prepaid accommodations and often pay a hefty flight fine to change your ticket.  With trip insurance, you can get all this back and not worry about going broke (so soon. )
 
And for you sailors out there, I am also selling NOAA Charts-On-Demand now including charts for the Virgin Islands. . You order up a chart for most anywhere in the world, and it is printed just before shipping with all the latest Notice to Mariners included on the chart. So if and when your electronics fail or get too many salt water dumpings, you can pull our the trusty old fashioned chart, and continue to plot your course with pencil in hand.
 
Many of you might be shocked to know that I have rarely used  GPS and never even owned one, yet I often sailed alone and somehow managed to find anchorages, more often than not, the one I was hoping to find.   That's right. I am surely showing my age now!  I sailed with compass and chart and dead reckoning along with a few angels and sometimes a ghost.  You must think me truly crazy, but my modest sailboat used to be treated to visits by a playful female ghost. At least that was my impression of her. She never really scared me, just startled me when she would appear, give me a half sentence cryptic message then vanish again.
 
I remember the first time she appeared, it did sort of give me a fright, as I thought someone had boarded my boat in the middle of the night and I came flying out of my bunk, saw her for a brief instance, then realized I was all alone again.
 
All these years, I kept it a secret, but since I sold the boat a few years back, I guess it doesn't matter now. I guess she sailed on with the boat, I don't really know, but I haven't seen her since I moved off the boat. I know the guy  I bought the boat from was close to being certifiably crazy, and he didn't much care for women, having suffered through a bad marriage, and I suppose having a female ghost on the boat was the last straw to his fragile cling to sanity.
 
He only owned the boat for a few short months, before I bought it. Matter of fact, I discovered the boat had rapidly gone through several owners before I took her over. I assumed it was because she needed everything it seemed, like a mast, rigging,  an engine and so on. I did rebuild that boat to look like new again, and one day I will publish some of the hilarious details of that particular adventure which spanned several years, while I took a great deal of heckling from male sailors who thought a "girl"  couldn't possibly rebuild a boat on her own. Ha!  I showed them!  Took me awhile, but I did it. (I'm nearly certifiably crazy too, ya know!)
 
I did learn to use LORAN, just in time for it to become obsolete, and it never worked well for this area anyhow. I had started to learn GPS on a fancy yacht where the owner bought state of the art everything, the minute it became available and back in those days, the government didn't trust us with correct coordinates, so GPS was always way off.  We became frustrated as the GPS would show us anchored on top of Spy Glass Hill, when we were safely in the water,  at the Bight on Norman Island. 
 
We tried using the newfangled thing to go to Anegada, and OhMyGada, we went aground in this beastly yacht of about 84 feet. We were creeping so slow, we were able to back right off, what luck. So, we shut the offending electronic off, and I was dispatched to the bow, where I directed by hand signals to the captain, aft in the cockpit at the helm,  through a terrifying web of sharp coral heads. I think I lost about ten pounds of sweat, then Lowell Wheatley, God Rest his Soul, came on the VHF radio and continued to help direct us into the unmarked channel and into a safe anchorage.
 
We went ashore and it was my first time meeting Lowell Wheatley. He owned the Anegada Reef Hotel and Bar.   He wrote up a blank bar tab with our yacht's name on it, stuck it with a clothes pin to a clothes line, next to a few other tattered tabs, inside the open air bar, told us to make our own drinks, write them down, and remember to pay before we set sail again, whether it was tomorrow or next week.
 
He said he had to go get ready for that night's BBQ and left us a tad bewildered, sitting at his honor bar, contemplating our good fortune in finding Anegada with only one bump and receiving such a warm welcome.  Being the hired Chef on board, I jumped up and fetched drinks for our crew of 3 and 7 guests, I think their were  a total of 10 of us plus the dog,  on the yacht that week. Yep, we sailed with this ragamuffin of a sweet dog who was part everything,  who loved sailing. I made them all drinks, fetched a cup of water for the doggy, wrote everything  down on our tab. Then before I could escape from behind the bar, another crew of people showed up and ordered drinks, so I made them drinks, filled out their tab and stuck it back on the clothes line.
 
That night Lowell made us fresh lobster on homemade grills with homemade charcoal, accompanied by a mountain of beans and rice with a side of veggies. He stuck all that on our tab, fluttering in the wind, at the bar. We stayed a few days, then one morning after breakfast, we made our final trip ashore, to pay our tab which was now several pages long.
 
Lowell, looked it over and said either we were heavy drinkers, or  terribly honest or terribly bad at math. He scratched off the doggy's tab, which after 3 days consisted of thee bunless burgers, and 18 waters, (the only one sober in our crew) then added up all our food and drinks, gave us a price and told us it included another free round or two on him.
 
This was smart marketing on his part, because if you drank both rounds, you weren't fit for sailing, and hence you stay another day and ran up another tab. We had already fallen for this trick twice, hence our 1 night stay had turned into 3 nights. So this time, we soberly stuck to plain juice, as we never sailed while drinking alcohol. Our passengers, of course, had their two rounds of alcoholic drinks, but they didn't have to sail, that's what the crew was for.
 
I could go on and on about my various trips to Anegada and visits with Lowell, he was a true jewel and a one man welcome committee for Anegada. I mean everyone there was terribly nice, but usually he bounded down to the dock to meet you as you tied up your dinghy, so he could escort you to his self-serve honor bar and try to entice you to that night's BBQ on the beach.
 
Sadly Lowell, departed this world in 2002 through a senseless accident and is sorely missed and beloved by many from all over the world.
 
A few months back, I snuck up to Anegada for the day, it had been years, since I had been there, and a trip much too short, but at the end of the day,  I  was pleasantly surprised to find  that Lowell's family has continued in the tradition of the open-air serve-yourself honor bar. I must be terribly sentimental, and I missed my friend Lowell, I burst into tears and ran and hid in the ladies room, pulling myself back together,  while my patient friend manned the honor bar. Finally, I made it back, had a drink and toasted in loving memory of Lowell Wheatley. Gone, but never forgotten. Another fine and rare jewel of the islands.
 
All links are underlined.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Do Not Fish in the BVI without a license
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 28 Oct 2007 10:34:54 EDT
Cloudy skies, patched of pale blue, tiny dots of sunshine and breezy winds here.
 
That mess that has been dripping over us the past few days, was named tropical depression 16 last night at 11pm.
The teeny red dot is Tortola. TD16 has winds of 35 mph and is moving about 7pmh. Last night temperatures were again down to 75 degrees.
 
I was huddled under cover, with my kitties when a friend called up begging me to come out and play. Finally I agreed to get dressed and go out. We sat and talked about the most popular subject of the evening:  how cold everyone was.
 
I KNOW, you are laughing your fool head off that at 72 degrees on a breezy evening, we are COLD. Well, I guess some of us have lived here so long, our blood has thinned out and anything below 78 gives us the shivers. The few times it goes below 70, oh brother, you go out and smell moth balls and moldy clothes, as people pull out their sweaters, long johns, wool socks and so on to bundle up against the cold.
 
This is sad tale of a government gone crazy. The moral of the story is, don't fish in the BVI. A $46,000 fine for fishing for you supper is pretty darn stiff. Since the hapless captain can't raise that kind of fine, he is imprisoned for a year. It all seems so surreal and unbelievable. I think the BVI is sending the wrong message here.  If charter guest visits plummet this year, well, we will know who to blame. But if you are coming to the BVI, do not fish here without a permit.   I feel sorry for the poor captain, as he is the laughing stock of the prison. Next to robbers, rapists, and murderers, sits a man whose only crime if fishing for his supper. Something ain't right about this.  It makes me embarrassed to call this home. I don't advocate people breaking the law, but the punishment is wildly excessive and wrong in so many ways.
 
The maximum fine in the USVI is $400, in the BVI $500,000.  A half million for fishing?  I think that fine was directed towards commercial fishermen, not some poor sole who didn't even know he was in BVI waters and was trolling for his supper.
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Dwippy Dwizzle
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 27 Oct 2007 09:11:34 EDT
Temperatures have plummeted to 76 degrees. Brrrrrrrrrr.  Out come the blankets and fuzzy slippers. Usually I don't care of the kitties sleep with me or not, but last night, I stuffed them around me, to warm me up and take the chill off. Brrrrrr.
 
The moon has been big, full and bright. Last night was the official full moon. It poured down rain quite steadily until 930pm, then it dried up considerably. Last night was also Foxy's Halloween party. I had hoped to go, but the drizzly weather changed my mind. So the cats were spared form the green fur dye. Lucky them. I was gong to paint myself green, dye the cats green, and we were going to the party as Gang-Green...
 
It's steadily drizzling now and the view of Jost Van Dyke is enshrouded in mysterious clouds.  At least we won't flood at this rate. Surf is up, but not much, Monday and Tuesday should be the big surf days.
 
Hey, did you hear what happened to the taxi driver? 
 
He stops and picks up the Nun on the side of the road.  He is driving her to her destination when he asks her if he can ask her a very strange question. 
 
She says, "Son, at my age, as a Nun, I have just about seen and heard it all. Nothing would shock me. "
 
SO the taxi driver says "I have always had a fantasy to kiss a Nun, all my life, I have dreamed of that."
 
The Nun says, "Well, if you are Catholic and Single, I will kiss you. "
 
The taxi driver assures her he is indeed both.
 
So they pull over and the Nun gives the taxi driver a long passionate kiss that made him blush in surprise.
 
Finally, they took off on their journey again.
 
A few minutes later, the taxi driver says "Sister, I must confess, I have sinned and I have lied. I am not single, and I am not Catholic.  I am Jewish and I am married."
 
The Nun says, "Well, that's OK. My real name is Kevin, and I am dressed as a Nun to go to  a Halloween party!"
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Splish Splash Slip Slop Plip Plop
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 26 Oct 2007 08:27:22 EDT
Yikes. We had drizzly rains all night and now this morning is turning out to be dark and stormy.
 
Da current done mash up for 6 hours!  I call dat BVI Elec-tricky corporation and they got more excuses than local medicinal uses for bush tea. 
 
Dem guys don't work in da rain. Dem guys don't work in da night. Dem guys don't work in da wind. Da weather gots to be perfect before they work.
 
I wish they would send dem elec-tricky guys on an exchange program to somewhere urban with snow. Let dem see how da real world operate, and places where you got to work even when da weather don't suit cha.
 
But I might as well talk to a rock, as far as getting anywhere. Dat current was mash up 25 years ago, and it ain't improved one bit, 26 years later.
 
If I sound cranky, well I am. I got me an earache that is aching the whole side of my big old head, and all I want to do is lay my big achy head on soft pillows and watch da idiot box and try not to think about chopping my fool ear off.
 
It is dark and gray, with a tiny patch of sunshine peeking through once in a great while. Even the kitties have settled indoors and are begging for twice the food, as storms make them powerfully hungry.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Back on line!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:50:41 EDT
Ooops!  Thank you for the emails!  The Mermaid went AWOL, for a few days, but whew, I am back now.
 
We are having intermittant light rains, but LQQK at what's coming at us!
Surfers will be happy, but painters will not!  Matter of fact you can surf this weekend, but Monday and Tuesday are going to great surf days with 5-7 foot swells and 10-11 seconds apart.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Splattered, Scattered Showers
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 23 Oct 2007 10:41:20 EDT
Scattered, splattered rains remain, since last night and at first light, continue to bring groomed beans to the islands, (or was that green blooms to the islands...)  My tongue is tied, or just a tip of the slug or slip of the tongue...  And you wonder why I don't give the weather live on TV...
 
A west moving tropical wave and upper level area of low pressure are bringing us these treats. There is little expectation that this wave can grow into anything. The trade winds are back and we are happy for that!  It is 82 degrees but feeling rather comfy if you are anywhere near any breezes, like I am.
 
Today my desk is graced with several paper weights while I work, including one large heavy paper weight, aka, a cat. As I shuffle papers around, loading them into computer programs for pay, the cat wants to claim them all for himself. As the printer occasionally spits out the printed word, he grabs the sheet and sits on it, like it needs his personal paw of approval before I can have it. Then he curls upside down, with one eye open, and one fang hanging out, to let me know he is really not sleeping on the job, but merely installing more Ram in the rear of the laptop.
 
Yesterday was a holiday in the BVI so town and business was quiet. The surfers might be interested to know that by Friday the waves will be back up somewhat and Monday is supposed to be the best day, though it won't be a holiday. So if you work in the BVI, be prepared that your surfing coworkers are bound to be sick next Monday. Wave flu. Happens all the time, surf is up, and wave flu sweeps the island.
 
I have interviewed several doctors here over the years. Most complained that their work was harder than it should be, because folks didn't run to them for simple things. Islanders tend to resort to any homeopathic remedy they can and save the doctor visits for knocking at death's door. Hence, the doctors often see serious cases of this and that rather than the mild boo boos one would want and expect.
 
Most any day at any beach, you will find a few sick people who are nursing their health in the sea and sunshine. Others are drinking bush tea and trying all sorts of herbal remedies before going to a doc about any illness. One doctor once told me that the vast majority of illnesses are much better after 3-5 days with a doctor's intervention. However, he  also pointed out, quite honestly, that those same illnesses were often gone within 3-5 days, without a doctor's intervention.
 
In other words, the body can often heal itself, and the old wisdom of plenty of fluids (flush the evil out) and lots of rest (let the body focus on healing not distractions of work etc) are still very true.
 
I remember a time when being on a prescription drug meant you were deathly ill or had something catastrophic that needed careful monitoring. Now days, it seems folks tote around a whole pharmacy in their purse or briefcase or pocket, taking handfuls of prescribed pills for all manner of ailments. Many of those same ailments would vanish if the patient would change their diet and or consume a great deal more good old plain water.
 
Marketers have brainwashed us that all liquids must contain loads of sugars and flavors and chemicals to the point you meet folks that actually boycott water or fear it is contaminated. Somehow drinking a bottle full of chemicals you can't even buy off the shelf at the store but are readily tossed into your packaged drinks, is preferable over straight clean pure H2o.  The body is made up of mostly H2o.  It's why we are attracted to water, oceans, rivers, lakes, the body knows it's like me and me like it, or something along those lines.
 
Guess I am full of foolish ponderances today, but alas, I am not alone. This French wine bottle came ashore with a note about yesterday's car pic:
 
What is the gestation time for giving birth to a car?  How are they conceived?  Can Cadillacs get together with Minis or are they too big? It could only happen in the islands!  Great export potential - damn sight easier than growing and cutting sugar-cane. Brilliant!
Luv, Frenchie
 
My dear Frenchie, you are Ba-Ba-Ba-Bad
 
I stopped to photograph the goat, and she immediately groomed and then struck a pose for me, as if she has been waiting all along for her modeling break.  Matter of fact, there is already a 2008 Goat Calendar our for sale (no kidding!) However, my BVI Scenes Calendar will be out soon as well and I will let you know shortly.
We may have phone and faxes and computers on the way, but we still have wild goats running loose, though this one has sensibly decided that walking down the top of the rock wall is far safer than using the old goat paths, which of course we now refer to as roads.
 
Many say, that is why are roads are built at such wild angles in the mountains, they are old goat and donkey paths, already laid out for us. The problem is the goat has tripod feet, with three hefty hooves. This enables her/it/him to scale near vertical paths and cliffs (just like some of our roads are now built).  Sometimes I wish my car could pop out tripod feet and walk up the near vertical switchbacks rather than swish sideways up and around them. I know I would feel a lot safer.
 
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- World of Science
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 22 Oct 2007 14:43:51 EDT
Scattered rains and cloudy skies interspersed with wafts of baby blues. Yesterday the surf was up enough for some beginners to come try their luck and hone their skills without leers from the pros.   I witnessed some spectacle dumps, falls and summersaults.
Clouds with attitude!  This one seems to have an umbilical to heaven...
 
Both Frenchie and Francis, alerted me to this new article:
 
After reading the article, I think scientists have been secretly experimenting with steering hurricanes anyhow, but certainly don't want to admit to it, as I think they haven't gone the way they wanted. Also, if the idea is to steer it away from more populated areas to those less populated, then are we rewarding overcrowding with good weather while decimating others?
 
To those forecasters, we are tiny dots on their vast map, they could steer their hurricane right over us and not realize we are real people with real concerns and maybe don't deserve a hurricane anymore than they do. If they steer it out to sea, are they going to alert the tiny little boats out there?  Hey, we're moving a hurricane your way, better change course!
 
Well while those scientists have been studying how to move hurricanes, we in the BVI are set to announce our SUPER SECRET endeavor to grow our own cars!  By growing our own cars, we won't have to pay the high duty (20%) to import them. Also we won't have to pay exorbitant shipping costs nor dealer markups. Here is our TOP SECRET picture of a test car growing on Tortola:
As you can see, the hood and passenger area have already bloomed, soon we expect the trunk to grow on. Eventually the tires and wheels will grow on, and all this baby growth will be replaced with solid car, as it slowly becomes whole. Eventually, some lucky driver will be able to harvest this car and drive away!
 
For more foolishness, you have only 9 days left to order your teeth and fangs or beards and mustaches, or hats and brooms for Halloween from Dear Miss Mermaid's Spooky Store!
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- marvelous
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 21 Oct 2007 12:59:05 EDT
ANOTHER wonderful day in paradise. We just keep having picture perfect weather, and I keep running around without my camera!  Shame on me. I am trying to remember to carry it around more. I don't know how it ends up sneaking out of my purse when I am not looking.
 
I know. It's the cats.
 
They do these real cute things, and I go to fetch the camera and I come back and aim for the shot and at that precise movement they change position into something goofy. The two brothers which are identical in body shape and size, were curled up together like a 2 headed cat, it was precious. I came to take the shot and one yawned and the other hopped up and left, so I was left with a blurry picture of fangs and tail, hardly the cute shot I sought.
 
Later in the day, all three of them sat between the balustrades of the veranda, with their tail hanging out back. They were all gazing at the sea, hoping for a big fat tuna to land on the shore for their delight. It was another one in a million precious cutesy pictures and I tip toed to the camera, came back just as two leapt off the verandah and the other one whipped his head around to wash a private part.
 
 
Harry Potter Cat, Nope not my Cat, My Cats would never do anything this cutesy AND stay long enough to have a picture taken. However, my cats are shopping for their Halloween Costumes Here. Take a peek and get a real giggle!




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Sad Day
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 13:29:59 EDT
Marvelous day in paradise. Surf's up some too! 
The Way It Is
 
On a tragically sad note, Reggae Singer, Lucky Dube was murdered yesterday during a carjacking in Africa. Lucky Dube played last May at Cane Garden Bay during the Music Fest.  More on the news story here.  




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Fantastic
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:49:51 EDT
I am afraid this hurricane season just has not been nearly as spectacular as the forecasters had hoped!  We are having typically beautiful days in the BVI. The kind that make you want to come here on vacation and never ever leave again.
 
The trade winds are blowing steadily, the sun is out the surf is noisy.  A fantastic day to go snorkeling.
 
Back when a mermaid lived on land, I took up making stained glass windows and artwork.  Eventually, the owners of the shop, closed it down and moved to Barbados. I kept making pieces, one of my most favorite was a free form hot air balloon made of a rainbow of colors.  It now hangs in my friend's home, far, far away from here.
 
Ironically, it became a symbolic piece, that one day I too would float away with the clouds.  My friends invited me to Barbados. I planned the trip nearly a year in advance and pestered all my friends to go with me. Finally the day arrived, and sadly, I went to the airport all alone and flew to Barbados.  Everyone else had found excuses not to go.
 
My friends picked me up at the airport, surprised I arrived alone, as they had graciously opened up their home and told me they had seven bedrooms, of which they only occupied two and I could fill the rest with friends. It seemed like I was friendless!
 
I ended up with a whole floor to myself, I had no idea my friends were so well off. Monkeys swung through the trees in the garden, a maid arrived each morning, always dressed in a pink dress, catching a ride on the back of a motorcycle. The gardener lurked around, machete in hand and would creep around the garden, occasionally doing some work.
 
The day before, my friends and I,  had all been out together, when we came home to make drinks and the ice maker was empty. We ran out and bought ice for a princely sum. The next morning, at breakfast, they checked the errant ice maker, only to discover it had refilled itself overnight. Curious indeed. They went to work, I went to the beach and ended up taking my first sailing lesson and fell in love with sailing. The instructor was a big flirt and was determined to make me fall in love with him, but I was already in love.  With Sailing.
 
My friends came home from work and proceeded to make drinks when they noticed the ice maker was completely empty, again, not a single cube left. They glared at me, they must have thought I was the world's worst guest.  I explained I had been sailing all day, and I sure had the bright red burn to prove it and I hadn't even touched the ice.  We settled into an uneasy happy hour, after fetching another pricey bag of ice.
 
Incredibly, the next morning, at breakfast, the ice maker was full again. I spent the day sailing again, my friends were working,  but  when I came home from the beach, late in the day, I went to fetch some cold water. The gardener was in the kitchen, he didn't see me on the other side of the room, at the door and he was emptying  out all the ice, into a garbage bag, then slipped out the back door and left for the day.
 
A half hour later, my friends come home and found the ice maker empty again. Oh if looks could kill, I think they were about to put me out, or drop me back at the airport,  when I found myself ratting on the gardener. Well, the next morning, they had some words with the gardener and the maid.  That night, we discovered the ice maker was now overflowing and I was once again, a welcomed house guest and not the ice hog, they thought me to be. Whew.
 
I fell in love with the Caribbean, with sailing with the tropics.  When my trip was over, I knew I would be back to the Caribbean and spend many happy vacations here.  Incredibly within a year, one of my clients moved to the Virgin Islands and invited me down to do some work for him, which took a few hours and now I had ten more days to kill.
 
I ended up sailing and partying, carnival was happening and I went to parades and tramps and parties. I discovered their were professional crews who got paid to work on sailboats. I was incredulous. Get paid to sail?  You gotta be kidding me!  Get paid to live on fabulous yachts?  You gotta be dreaming here!  But it was true.
 
At home I took up sailing on a lake two hours away, managing to beg and borrow boats.  The lake was so small, that we considered boats of 30 feet to be BIG. With a goodly stroke of luck, an angel must have been shining down on me,  I won a free trip to the Caribbean on a tall ship sailing around the BVI for two weeks.
 
I thought I had died and gone to heaven. 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Fantastic
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:04:50 EDT
A fantastic day in paradise. Vibrant blue sky, deep green foliage, crystal clear waters. A great day to go diving.  No storms on the horizon, just another boringly beautiful day to be alive in the Caribbean.
 
Last time I went diving, we found this mega lobster. He was the granddaddy of them all. I have never seen such a huge lobster, before or since. Of course I unfortunately, no longer scuba dive due to an ear problem, but it was fun while it lasted.
Did you say LOBSTER?  I love lobster!
 
So back to the yacht, we hauled this mega lobster. Most folks want to boil lobster, but I prefer to grill them. Besides, even though we were on a 75 foot yacht on charter, we didn't have a pot THAT big and it would have taken hours to get that much water to boil, while needlessly heating up the galley, had we had a pot the size of a bathtub to cook him in.
 
There was some guilt about taking him at all, maybe he was still fathering little lobsters that would grow up to be mammoth like him. The captain asked me what I wanted to do with the lobster, being as we didn't have a bathtub to cook him in and I suggested we fire up the grill, split him down the middle and grill him while I made my famous Rum Butter sauce to baste him with.
 
I melted a pound of butter, squeezed about 6 limes into that, tossed in chopped fresh parsley and basil, a load of chopped garlic and about a cup of dark rum.  This sauce is flammable, so do not leave unattended on the stove.
 
Which reminds me one time I was cooking out and we had run out of lighter fluid, and the coals were stubbornly cold. However, someone had brought over some 151 Dark Rum, so I used that to start the grill, much to the surprised delight of the guests. There is a trick to this though, you don't just toss the rum on the coals, you sprinkle a little rum on the coals, not much, just a sprinkling. Then you need a long handled stainless steel spoon and a cigarette lighter. Pour rum into the big spoon and hold the lighter under it, while lit of course, for about a minute. Then light the rum in the spoon, if it hasn't already ignited on it's own. Hot rum lights up, cold rum doesn't, hence the heating of it to start with. Then pour over the coals slowly and POOF you will have a nice hot grill in about a half hour or so.
 
Back on the yacht that day, the macho captain split the lobster end to end and placed him on the grill.  He was so big, he was  hanging off of both ends and I came up from the galley with the butter sauce and a basting brush.  One of the passengers grabbed their video and wanted to film the lobster cooking on the grill while I basted him.
 
The captain opened the grill and stood back out of the way so the videographer could film it, when one of the female passengers began shrieking. We looked at the lobster, and there he was split in half, but wiggling!
 
Yes, both halves were wiggling and dancing all over the grill. The captain slammed the grill shut and the tentacles poked out and waved around wildly, while our passenger continued to shriek. Meanwhile, everyone had run aft to look at what was making the lady shriek and the videographer begged us to reopen the grill, so someone threw a towel over the screaming lady, and escorted her down below, while the rest of us voyeurs took another peek.
 
It was eerily comical, the lobster clearly split in half, dancing all over the place while the video recorded it all. I suggested that if I basted him, he would calm down, due to the rum. You would think after being split in half, and cooked over 600 degrees, he would be dead, but no, he continued to defy us by dancing around.
Finally, I went over to baste the wiggling creature, feeling terribly guilty, and I guess he liked the rum, as he immediately settled down and his movements became less erratic. So I kept lathering up the brush and basting the translucent meat until he was completely still.
 
There was a strange silence as we stared at the motionless creature and somebody hollered "Honey, come back up, it's dead now!"
 
That critter was so bountiful, we fed 10 people with it, well 9 actually, the shrieking lady declined her portion.
 
Thanks to the wonders of modern day shipping, you can now order fresh lobster delivered to your door. 
 
You can also dress your kid up for Halloween to look like a lobster, but keep a careful eye on him, that no one decides to cook him/her!
Unique Infant Baby Lobster Costume (12-18 Months)Click to see assorted costumes.
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Loverly Breezes
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:07:00 EDT
Aw shoot.
 
I sat down and wrote all about the gloriosu weather, how the winds were beckoning sailboats to come out and play, how the slapping of the seas against the shores were whispering for swimmers and divers galore.  How today is just a perfect day for a perfect life, and if you aren't here in the BVI, you should be planning a trip here.
 
It's like no where else on earth.
 
Well, dang it to Mars and back, the computer ate my email. Crunch, munch, burp and it was gone in a flash as the program folded up after politely  telling me it had encountered an error...
 
Maybe it just didn't like my humor today. Grrr...
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Overcast
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 16 Oct 2007 16:05:03 EDT
Slightly gray and cloudy (looks like grouty clay!) and somewhat overcast today. You can feel some humidity, but no rains yet. The banana trees want more rain, they make more bananas with more water. I am lucky to have green bananas. They are good for boiling, and eating as they are starchy, but once they go yellow, they become sweet and juicy.
 
Pooh in St Thomas, shares this incredible Purple Haze picture she captured with the BVI in the background. I can just hear that song by Jimi Hendrix in my head and wonder where my old vinyl albums are now. I sold them all before I moved to the Caribbean including quite a few of Jimi Hendrix. If anyone has any on their computer, send them over via email, would love some new tunes...
 
The Caribbean has long inspired many songwriters.  As of late, we have Kenny Chesney, who frequents the islands often. On his "Be as You Are" album, the old blue chair song as well as the cover picture of it, are from Sandcastle at White Bay, Jost Van Dyke.
 
I wrote here some where, about the lady that tried to t'ief that old blue chair, some time back. What a character. At least I think I wrote about it...Hmmm...  Will have to look into that.
 
Thank you to all who ordered my View From A Mermaid's Underwater World, 2008 Wall Calendar!  I hope to have a BVI calendar out soon (above water scenes!)
Still the Underwater world is great for a bathroom.  You can study thewatery world and  fish and stuff while, um contemplating...




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Simply Marvelous
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:15:24 EDT
Beautifully clear here today.  Bright blue skies, gentle waves slapping the beach, slight winds which I hope will pick up soon. 83 degrees and all is well.
 
Up rolled another French wine bottle on the shore this morning from Frenchie who shares this tale with us:
 
20 years ago last night:
We had a 'hurricane' hitting the South of England. We were on a visit to London, and on our last night before returning home on Antigua, we took my eldest boy to Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club.  Emerging in the early hours, we were confronted by horizontal rain and the thunderous rush of the storm.  We drove to our rented house in the country dodging crashing trees and finally made it with a tree trunk lying perilously close to our bedroom window. My wife claimed it was a hurricane, to which I replied 'this is England not Antigua'. Incredible. We left for the safety of Antigua later that morning, but we had to wait only another 2 years for our next 'hurricane experience'; Hugo passed close-by the south of the island and he took part of our roof with him.
 
While I was reading this message, a Cruzan Rum bottle lands gently on the beach and inside is this incredible picture taken by Pooh on St Thomas a few days ago, with the BVI in the background and huge double rain spouts coming down:
 
 
Learn fascinating tales about the history of St Kitts
with Vincent Hubbard's
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Great Day to be Limin'
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2007 16:26:03 EDT
A terrific day in paradise. Surfers are out practicing on optimistic waves. A few boats are leisurely sailing by, beaches are busy but uncrowded.  Ferry schedules are erratic, call ahead to make sure of the one you want.  Native Son was running a round trip special, call for details, save over $10.
 
Some Churches are full on Sunday, others on Saturdays. Brunch with drinks are busy and popular at places like Oscars on Frenchman's Cay.
 
 
Nights are getting cool, days are getting windier, winter is approaching and so far NO HIMMACANES or hurricanes.
 
The Mailbag Gets Even Strangers...
 
Hi,
 
My husband and I are coming to Tortola Nov.6-9th...Do you only have your full moon parties once  a month???
 
Signed,
Wondering
 
Dear Wondering,
    The full moon typical comes but once a month, except once in a Blue moon, we get two full moons in one month such as last May  on the 2nd and 31st and the next one coming up is in December 2009 on the 2nd and 31st.
    Tortola of course is a different kind of place, we often do business different from the rest of the world, and we are waiting for the rest of the world to change their ways to ours.
    I shall bring it up, to government, that we should consider having full moons every week, rather than every month and then we could have more parties.
    Since the government recently extended their territorial waters of the BVI, out to twelve miles, I see no reason why we can't change the cycle of the moon too.
    Since fisherman typically like to fish around the full moon, this should result in a larger bounty of fish as well.  I think this full moon every week business could be a gold mind for  us islanders.
 
Foxy's has his Cat Fight and Masquerade Party coming up soon!  Don't forget to  wear your funny costume!
 





See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Nuttin but blue skies, mon
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 13 Oct 2007 09:50:46 EDT
A gorgeous day in paradise, 84 degrees, gentle winds, clear skies with a few scattered clouds that don't seem to want to dump any rains on us, but that's OK we are GREEN and beautiful these days. I think we might just make it through hurricane season totally unscathed. Shhhhhhhhh...  this will not make the forecasters happy...
 
Cheated death again, and walked away alive!
 
Life in de eye-lons...
 
I was going to be ON TIME. But just in case, I told  my 2 girlfriends, when they came off the ferry, if I wasn't there, to walk down to Jolly Roger and have a drink and I would pick them up there, as Plan B. But I also made the fatal mistake of saying "But I am usually early or on time..."
 
That would probably work anywhere else in the world, but on Tortola, where local communications are STILL a problem (my cell phone hasn't worked in ages, but they still bill me for it) and my friends are having similar problems, sometimes you end up stopping in the middle of the street to have a conversation, because if you don't you may not see that person again for ages and your phone or their phone will be down, or you play phone tag until you give up and forgot you were friends to begin with!
 
Hence, in de eye-lons mon, you generally are considered "ON TIME"  for the first hour. If you are more than an hour late, then you actually are accused of being LATE.
 
Well, guess what, I stopped at the dumpster, to clean out my heap of a jeep. I had actually included this in my time table and I would still arrive 5 minutes before the ferry and thus beat my friends to the arrival gate.
 
Ha!  The best laid plans can often go awry here and mine did exactly that.
 
At the dumpster, on the edge of the road, I was blocking one lane of traffic, while I reached around my heap and grabbed various debris and tossed it out the window into the dumpster. Many island folks clean their car this way, so I was no different. My friend who I have been trying to reach for 7 weeks, drove by, slammed on brakes, backed up and started to chat. When traffic backed up, she pulled over parked and walked over to my window.  When a truck threatened to shorten her rear end, which was poking out as she leaned over to stick her head in the passenger window, she opened the door and  jumped into my passenger seat to keep from getting hit by the blind truck driver. Yep, only on Tortola do they employ the blind to drive big heavy trucks at 90mph, steamrolling anything that gets in their way (you've seen those flattened chickens on the roads here...)
 
We continued to block only one lane of traffic and chat and catch up when I realized OOOPS, we had been talking nonstop for 20 minutes. So I said, heck, go to the ferry dock with me so we can continue to talk. So off we sped to catch my friends at the dock, leaving my friend's car on the side of the road.
 
We were yakking away so much, that I drove right past the ferry dock without looking and ended up at Jolly Roger. I turned to my passenger and said "Oops!  I forgot to even LOOK for them at the dock!"  We giggled and got out of the heap to see if they were at the bar.
 
We looked around Jolly Roger and they weren't there either. I glance up the road, and there they are walking towards us from the ferry dock. I ran down to greet them and apologize. Apparently I had driven right past them; frantically waving and hollering, oblivious to their presence. To make matters even funnier, they were still on stateside "hurry up time" rather than local "hurry up and wait" time, so they had already done a round trip to Jolly Roger.
 
Thanks to me, they got in a lot of exercise, as they had left the ferry dock, had a drink at JR, when I didn't show up (they drink pretty fast!) they hiked back to the ferry dock, only to watch me wiz right past them without a glance...
 
At this point I had an attack of the dizziness, right in the middle of the streeet. That was even funnier. I have seen many different doctors who still can't figure out why I get these attacks.  Fortunately they don't happen often, but when they do, I have to cling to a tree or to somebody sober, or else I stumble around wildly unable to figure out which way is vertical and sometimes fall down. It's embarrassing to say the least. I think of it as a mermaid attack, a mermaid out of water, flip flopping around...
 
So now I am clinging to my friends, laughing my fool head off, stumbling wildly while they hold me upright. They are laughing and  thinking "And we are going to let HER drive?" 
 
Maybe 15, 30, 60  seconds or so  go by, it's hard for me to tell, while I am in this dreamlike state, flailing around like a lost mermaid, and the attack is gone.  Now, I can navigate myself upright without aid. The world has righted itself again, and I am fine. Believe me, I've provided many a spectator with comedy when these attacks happen. If there are any doctors out there who can shed light on this mermaid phenomenon, I want to hear from you...
 
The problem is this never happens for the doctors, so they have yet to see me firsthand have these attacks. It once happened to me while driving and I ran off the road into a deep ditch, got stuck,  and called a taxi to come take me to the doctor. He gave me pills and I seemed to get worse each day. I went online and researched the drugs he was giving me and GUESS WHAT. They all had side effects of "may cause dizziness" so down the toilet went those drugs. What was he thinking to prescribe someone with dizzy attacks, drugs that cause dizzy attacks?  Duh...
 
Now, if I am driving and get dizzy, I pull over right away and stop.  Then I breathe deeply while chanting endlessly until the attack passes and I can safely negotiate my heap upright again.  Luckily, months often go by before an attack happens, so it's not a common thing. But boy, it sure is frustrating at times. Now if it happens in public, I just pretend like I love being goofy and try to shed the shear embarrassment of the moment, as if I enjoy appearing wildly drunk (while steadfastly sober.)
 
My dumpster passenger had dashed for the restroom, upon our arrival and she came back down and I introduced everyone and my ferry friends ask, "So, where did you two meet?"
 
My passenger says innocently, "At the dumpster!"  Not bothering to mention we met like 15-18-20 years ago (heck, who counts after 10 years of friendship?)  This of course sent the ladies into peels of laughter.
 
First I arrive LATE, (well sort of, I was like 20 minutes passed my promised arrival) then I drive right by them and leave them walking. Then I walk up, start flopping around and clinging to them explaining I am having a mermaid attack and it will pass in a moment...  then I tell them I pick up strangers at the dumpster for them to meet...and that is why I am late...
 
I guess you could say we were all in for a fun weekend. It started off comical, and the rest of the evening just got even funnier (more on that later) as if we were now stuck in this funny time warp, where strange things kept happening to make us laugh and giggle and look downright foolish.
 
Late last night, the birthday girl, who started this whole party to begin with, announced it was the FUNNEST birthday she had ever had and that she had laughed herself silly, laughing more today than she had all month or all year. Yee haw!
If you like to read funny stuff, then check out:




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Hevenly
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2007 09:33:06 EDT
Nothing but beautiful skies here, gentle winds and waves. A great day to go sailing, or beaching or limin'.  A wonderful day to be in paradise. It's 83 degrees and heaven on earth.
 
 
If you are a female and you've been to the BVI, then you know the men here are super-flirty. They don't care if you are young, old, fat, skinny, beautiful or ugly.  They flirt.  It doesn't matter if you are married or gay or on a date with a Sumo wrestler, they flirt. It's their favorite pastime and something they indulge in constantly it seems.
 
For some ridiculous reason, I agreed to help a local islander set up his computer for a small fee.  Believe you and me, if I EVER do that again, it will be for a LARGE HEFTY FEE, payable in advance. 
 
I could hardly keep my student  focused, as he kept asking me out or asking about my love life or commenting on my nice tail...
 
As we chased down various cords, (here, plug this in) brought on more unwelcomed comments from my enamored student.
 
Well, I had about had enough of him and was ready to call it quits, forget the fee.  By now,  I was just sick of this endless flirting and it was beginning to look like this computer project was going to be a lifetime career for him, before I just lost it and mashed his fool head with the keyboard, when suddenly, the computer powered up and asked him to create a password.
 
I bit my lip and thought, OK, I am almost done here... I will get him into a tutorial and go on my merry way...
 
I asked him to come up with a password, something easy for him to remember so he could log on. This would keep others from logging onto his computer without his permission.
 
I think by now the computer was as annoyed with him as much as  I was.  Yes, you  heard right! It was as if right on cue, the computer  sought the BEST revenge.
 
My island boy  was still more interested in flirting than learning his new computer, so he decides the one thing he can always remember is, um, well his so called manhood. So with great glee he types in slowly, while saying each letter quite loudly, something he can NOT forget, something that is ALWAYS on his mind and he  practically shouts each letter with a ridiculous grin on his face,  his new password:  M--Y-- P--E--N--I--S. 
 
He was slobbering and grinning and so SURE this would certainly melt my seemingly cold heart... (How could a girl resist???)
 
But the computer trumped him for me when the screen flashed in large bold letters, not to be missed:
 
PASSWORD REJECTED;  NOT LONG ENOUGH
 
He howled in pain, as if the computer had kicked him where it counts,  while I laughed myself silly and departed before he knew I had slipped away. I was already backing my heap of a jeep rapidly out of his driveway, my ribs were aching from all the laughing,  and I could hear him yelling and cursing that machine with every nasty word he could come up with.
 
I just hope he didn't bash it in. It was brand new out of the box.
 
Who says a machine can't have a sense of humor too?
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Beautiful Day in Paradise
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2007 18:31:26 EDT
It's been a gorgeous day, with only a few small scattered showers. Looking at the satellite, though that big trough of low pressure southeast of us,  is sure to bring us more rains in a day or two.
 
Lawdy mercy. I went to Port Purcell Grocery Store yesterday. They have cheap cat food and other bargains, I wanted to check out, plus they get in some unique products that others don't carry. The cashier gave me a warm greeting as I came in the store, they are always so nice and friendly there.
 
The store is always a bit of chaos, as they sell stuff faster than they can keep it stocked, so there is always a mess going on, but plenty of good bargains and they do work hard to keep some sort of order in the store. They also have a bargain shelf of odds and ends that I frequent, just in case there is something cheap and nifty I can use there.
 
I filled up my buggy with mostly cat food and a few token human items I fancied and of course the bargains.
 
While in the checkout line, this guy from Jost Van Dyke was flirting with me and I was trying to be polite without flirting back. He grabbed up my groceries and walked 8 feet to where I was parked and put them in my car. Then he asked for five dollars!
 
I was a bit startled, begging is a rarity in the BVI.  He had watched me get my change which was only $2.00 and some pennies, so I was a bit annoyed with him by now. So I told him I don't even have $5!  Would I be shopping at HERE if I was rich? 
 
Finally I gave him one dollar and thought, well so much for chivalry, it's definitely dead. He continued to ask for MORE money!  I said, "Look here dude, I already gave you a dollar and all I got is a dollar and please stop bothering me!"
 
I got in my car and started backing out. Next thing I know he is running and hollering at me and I am ignoring him then I realize another couple is hollering and running at me too!  WHAT NOW?
 
I stopped, pretty darn annoyed, and the guy runs up and says I might have the other couple's groceries! They ran up and opened my passenger door.  I told them to look in the car as I thought to myself I do not have their groceries. Well, lo and behold they pull out a bag of groceries and it is not mine!
 
I was mortified and embarrassed. If I could have vanished into thin air, I would have. I know my face turned bright red. I felt so humiliated!  I  apologized and told them  the other guy had loaded them up and I had NO idea he had put theirs with mine and that I was terribly sorry. They gave me a dirty look and walked off with their groceries. 
 
Now the beggar is  standing about ten feet away, trying to negotiate a "reward" with the couple  for getting their groceries back. So I rolled down the window and yelled at him.  "Look what you done now me son!  You  make me look like a t'ief loading up their groceries with mine!  Next time you stay away from me and you stay away from my groceries, you stay from my jeep and you don't be pestering hard working people for their money!"
 
I am sure I got everyone's attention and now the couple is giving him evil looks too.  This whole thing unsettled me, but then I forced myself to smile and laugh.  I wanted to be a in good mood when I went to the pharmacy. I had forgotten one of my prescriptions at home and hoped the pharmacist would refill it anyhow. So I wanted to be all smiles and pleasant while I explained my delimna. Well, the pharmacist did remember me and did refill my prescription without making me go back home for them. Whew. What luck!
 
The rest of the day turned out to be lovely, no more accusations of being a thief, no more bums asking for handouts, all was well. Matter of fact, everyone was really quite nice to me! 
 
 
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Yikes!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2007 22:34:37 EDT
Today was a temporary lull in the storms. We had few rains, though an eerie blue haze seemed to blanket the islands. A look at his scary pic sent to me by Bullwinkle and it looks like we could be in for more of the same, though our southern neighbors are sure to get the brunt of it, as these tropical waves sneak up on us.
 
Never a dull moment!
 
My black male cat is searching the upper closet shelf for a new remote bed to hide from the coming storms.  I always thought he should have been a mama kitty. He is the one that refuses to eat unless there is enough  food for three in the bowl and will complain loudly until I make it adequate.  He is constantly searching out remote cat beds, as if he is expecting kittens any day. IF something has to be brought to my attention, he is the official spokesperson.  He has 100 different meows, some of them very high pitched, and others quite musical. His favorite thing is to flop down and get a nice long belly rub which puts him to sleep.
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Incredible
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2007 16:17:50 EDT




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Island Secrets
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 8 Oct 2007 13:14:31 EDT
A lovely day in the islands. Breezy and cool, very nice for sleeping at night and sweet dreams.  Still it is overcast and cloudy with a chance of scattered brief showers.  Tortola will be green for the winter season, we've had so many rains and my cistern continues to overflow into the garden, despite me using the water inside for cleaning and showering. Guess I am still frugal from my liveaboard sailor days.
 
It is 84 degrees, but hardly feels like it, as the trade winds, back to normal, feel terrific and I can feel that summer is past and fall is really here.
 
I used to shower onboard my princely yacht of 30 feet, with only a gallon of water and actually get really clean. There was a method to my madness. On days I wanted to wash my long hair, I splurged and used two gallons. I actually do take longer showers on land, but feel so guilty, about wasting water, that I am often in and out of the shower in under 3 minutes, 5 minutes if doing my hair. I guess old habits are hard to die.
 
I remember 10 years ago, I visited the states and took a 6-7 minute shower at my friends' house, then apologized profusely and told them I got carried away with the high pressure and the  hot water. They looked at me like I had lost my mind and told me they rarely showered in under 30 minutes. (How do you get THAT dirty?  Don't you use soap?) but I kept my comments to myself, and figured their water bill must be horrendous. However ,I found out later, that many places outside of the Caribbean have super cheap water prices. hence the odd looks my startled friends gave me.
 
I know sometimes I have had to remind visiting guests, new to the Caribbean, back when I was on cistern only, to "save some water for tomorrow too!" as I listened to them take 30-45 minute showers while I chewed on my nails, paced nervously and wondered what they would say if told them we had to buy a $450 truck load of water in a day or two if they kept up these wasteful practices....
 
Our water prices have actually improved over the years, as one of  the few SMART things the local government has done, was build many desal plants to convert salt water into fresh then resell all to the public. Not all neighborhoods have "street" water though, many folks rely on cistern only, and if it runs dry, they have to hire a big noisy truck to come bring them more. The truck delivery is not cheap. Water is heavy, trucks are pricey and it takes a lot of time for the truck to go fill up, drive to your home and transfer all to your cistern. The water haulers like to live a comfy lifestyle, so a hefty profit is built into the cost of trucked water.
 
Yesterday, for some silly reason, I let my friend talk me into going out for lunch. The places she suggested were more than my current budget (actually more than my current wallet contents)  so I tactfully suggested a nice local place in West End on Frenchman's Cay called Kelly's.
 
Kelly's is a restaurant, bar, pool hall, grocery store and guest house nestled in a two store building on the waterfront. Back in the old days when Soper's Hole was relatively quiet and had not been invaded by Pussers, marinas and shops, the harbor often hosted home to many liveaboard sailors.
 
Some stayed anchored for months at a time while others, like me, showed up periodically and stayed a day, or a few or a week or so. I rarely stayed beyond a few days, as I had my own little sailboat and itchy feet, I was anxious to go sailing hither and yonder. 
 
But often when anchored (in those days we actually anchored in Soper's hole!) in that particular harbor, we liveaboard's would often agree to meet at Kelly's for breakfast or lunch or dinner. We would show up and push enough tables together to handle that day's crowd. Sometimes it was just 4-5 of us, other times 20+ would show up to dine together. Nobody had a boat big enough to really entertain much on, and liveaboards do get tired of the tiny quarters they often live most of a lifetime in, so going ashore and visiting with other cruisers and sailors was great fun.
 
We often drove the poor chef nutty, because we all wanted separate tickets to pay by. She gave up trying to write out separate tickets, wrote it all up on one, then when we finished and were each ready to pay separately, we would recite back to her, our order and drinks and pay whatever price she told us, one by one. Honestly was expected and I don't think anyone ever tried to cheat, despite the fact that some in the crowd were heavy drinkers and their beer tab often exceeded their food tab.
 
To get to Kelly's, you drove your dinghy under the tiny bridge connecting Frenchman's Cay to Wet  End (um, I mean West End, but today it was WET END)  Tortola. The tiny bridge is still there and you can still go under it to shop or dine at Kelly's. 
 
Kelly had (and still does)  a ramshackle dock we could tie up to. Eventually he added covered outdoor dining, in addition to the indoor dining. While breakfast is pretty standard fare, lunch and dinner is subject to change on a daily basis.
 
My friend had never dined at Kelly's and I assured her she would enjoy it.  We set out in separate cars because afterwards, we would be going in opposite directions. I don't know why I agreed to this. I prefer to stay home in inclement weather. My friend pronounced the weather nice and dry, despite the fact my crystal ball was dark, cloudy and wet. (I shudda listened to the crystal ball...)
 
I dressed casually and put on my Crocs, those funny plastic shoes that are so wonderfully comfortable, you could walk miles in them.  The nicest thing about them is that they don't get ruined in rain, mud, sand or salt water.  Just a bit of water and soap, cleans them up like new and they air dry in a minute or so.
 
I got in my heap of a jeep, battled with the passenger window to get it mostly up and set off under dark clouds, wondering WHY I agreed to leave my nice dry comfy abode. Even the cats seemed dismayed as they all dutifully followed me out to the red rusty heap and watched me get in and drive off, pretending to look forlornly lost. I know what they really do when I am gone. They race back inside, turn on the TV, get a hold of the remote and channel surf for animal shows.
 
Even though we have lived in our new home for 9 months now, they still follow me to the jeep, to see if it's time to load up and go back "home" to the place where they were born and spent the first 6 years of their life. They still seem to think we are merely just visiting this new place.
 
Well, of course halfway to Kelly's, the skies darkened, the clouds came low, obscuring visibility and the heavens opened up like God almighty has drained a giant bathtub.  It poured down hard and fast and I had to creep along in 2nd gear, barely able to see, plus my windshield wipers, while on fast, were still having a rough time keeping up with the pounding rain.
 
At Kelly's, I saw my friend ahead of me neatly park in the parking lot (a good soaking wet 60 feet from the door) while I parked like a local, right in the street by the front door. I was surprised the spot was empty. My friend looked back and saw how close I was to the door, and decided what the heck, she would move her truck to the side of the road too and get only a mini drenching.
 
My car was steaming up rapidly, I had no idea I was such a heavy breather!  Finally, I gave up waiting on the rain to pass, and hopped out of the jeep and inside to the restaurant. I stood by the closed door, waiting for my friend, so I could pop the door open for her. She arrived, fully drenched even though she only had to run about 8 feet to the door!  I was a bit drippy too, but the staff gave us a warm welcome, despite the fact were dripping all over the floor.
 
I had called earlier to inquire about today's menu, to make sure my friend would be happy with the daily offerings which included baked chicken, mutton, shrimps, veggie burgers and beef burgers. She ordered the standard burger fare while I ordered the baked chicken. She inquired about a glass of wine, and Kelly's being a casual type place, they don't exactly carry house wines. However, the chef happily lead her into the store, and showed her the chilled bottled wines and asked her if that would do. My friend picked out a nice Pinot Grigio, paid for it and hauled it back to the bartender who opened it up and gave us one red and one white wine glass, both slightly chilled.
 
We moved to the aft porch to sit by the water and the chef mentioned something about getting wet, and I told her just holler when our food was ready, I would come fetch it. I know islanders don't do rain, and the fact we were sitting outside (albeit under cover) she didn't want to chance herself getting wet.
 
We savored our wine, laughed about the odd wine glasses and watched the rain dry up just as we sat down (figures!)  I didn't like the table location, so we rearranged the table and chairs to suit ourselves and resat with a better view. On glass #2, we hear someone holler "Darling!"  and I told my friend I think the chef is calling us!
 
We hopped up and ran for the kitchen (we were starving) and the chef handed us placemats, confinements, tableware and 2 hot plates of food.  It was now raining heavy again, but we still dined outdoors, the rain wasn't blowing on us and the little garden out back is pretty. We were the only ones on the patio.
 
I felt sorry for my friend, she had a nice hamburger and a big mess of fries on her plate while I was treated to the $10 special of this heavenly baked chicken in a wonderful sauce, the meat was moist and just fell off the bones, no need for a knife, it was melt in your mouth chicken. It was encircled by mashed sweet potatoes, coleslaw, baked macaroni smothered in cheddar cheese, fried plantain, buttered corn on the cob and  green salad with tomatoes.
 
My friend's eyes nearly popped out, "You get all THAT for $10?" 
 
Between oohing and aahing, chewing and savoring, I managed to mumble, "Um, well actually it comes with peas and rice too, but I asked for her to hold the rice (I get plenty of rice at home, dining alone!)"
 
"See?  I told you to try a special rather than the burger..."
 
I shoved my over laden plate at here, "Here, try some."  She took a taste of everything and pronounced it wonderful, but still praised her own burger and fries as terrific. Twenty minutes later, the only thing left was an empty packet of mayonnaise and a chewed corn on the cob on two otherwise, very clean plates.
We cleared our table, took it all back to the chef, who fussed over us, that we needn't bother, told her how wonderful her cooking was, paid and departed.
 
It's just another island secret, some of the best food can be found in the most unlikely places.
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Glub Glub Glub
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 7 Oct 2007 15:56:36 EDT
Rain, thunder, lightning, more rains interrupted by dark cloudy skies and the sun has stayed well hidden since sunup Sunday.
 
Flash flooding across Tortola, with rocky mud slides have made for a royal mess on the roads.
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- under the bed
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 7 Oct 2007 02:20:51 EDT
    Holy smokes!  At 114am I was  in a nice deep dreamy sleep when somebody started rolling heavy bowling balls across the roof followed by the most horrendous thrashing, bashing, crashing, lashing, hashing,  clashing, flashing, mashing, dashing, smashing, gnashing, splashing (need I say MORE?) thunder and lightning.
    The sky went from pitch black to brilliant bright white.  I am surprised I have any windows left, it felt like a touchdown just behind my place. Drizzling rains turned into a huge downpour.
       Karen, stripped of her name and status is on top of us with a vengeance. My normally brave, nothing-bothers-us-big bad  cats, hopped off the bed and moved underneath it.
    I know, because it was getting crowded under there... as we huddled together, pretending to all be extremely brave and merely inspecting the dust bunnies at this wee hour...  I've learned from my cats how to exhibit mock confidence in the face of fear.
    Next it sounded like someone had picked up the huge boulders forming the Virgin Gorda baths and thrown them atop my roof. If the whole house had tumbled down into rumble, I wouldn't have been the least surprised.
    I finally climbed out from under the bed and ventured out to the veranda and I can hear the ocean angrily crashing along the shore.  Surfers were out yesterday and today, having a blast on the small but adequate waves. 
    The isolated storm only lasted about 30 minutes, but just enough that I am wide awake and ready for anything. Rains are coming and going, unable to make up their mind. Thunder can be heard in the distance, and I expect according to my crystal ball, that we are going to be treated with this intermittent squally noisy weather for a day or two or so.
    A big banana tree has crashed down encircling my angel, a small statue by my door,  on loan from a local artist. The statue is fine, but the tree has engulfed him, *sigh* another project for me and my machete tomorrow, as the rest of the tree is blocking my front door. Argh!
    Maybe I will just stay up and bake some frightfully good cookies, to calm me down. Can't sleep with this mess around me.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Gray Skies
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 5 Oct 2007 09:00:53 EDT
 
Talk about thick soup!  Remnants of Karen are blocking all our sun today, and scattered rains and Cumulonimbus clouds are the norm.
 
Cumulonimbus  is a type of cloud that is tall, dense, and involved in thunderstorms and other intense weather. The clouds can form alone, in clusters, or along a cold front in a squall line. Cumulonimbus clouds form from cumulus clouds (namely from cumulus congestus) and can further develop to a supercell, a severe thunderstorm with special features.
 
So, sounds like we may be in for a show today!  Every bone in my body aches, and I blame it on the weird weather.  I've got work backed up today, so no rest for the weary.
 
I went for a stroll down the beach this morning, trying to loosen up my joints, and came home with a French wine bottle with a note inside and more aches. 
 
In the wine bottle, Frenchie shares with us his own crazy comments from chartering with guests:
 
I can't begin to remember how times I've been asked, 'Did you anchor every night?' when folk have asked me about a transatlantic passage...
 
Or having just sailed out of St Johns Harbour, Antigua, and turned to port at the fairway buoy to go down the coast, a charter-guest hasn't said, 'Skipper, which island is that'?, pointing to his/her left back at the same island...
 
Or said, 'How smart of the Hawksbill Hotel to put a rock in the sea shaped just like that in front of it'.  (The Hawksbill Hotel is named after an offshore rock that resembles a hawksbill turtle.)
 
On one occasion, with tongue in cheek, I explained to a New York lady, that the rock had been found in the middle of the island, brought overland to the Hotel, where it had been sculpted by a guy from New York. Immediately she said 'What's his name'? Since I couldn't 'remember', I told her I'd go below and check it out.  I can't recall the name I gave her, but she exclaimed 'Whoa, he lives at the bottom of my street'.
 
Thanks Frenchie, and this brings to mind the ever looming question, which came first the hotel or the rock?  Ha ha! 
 
There are so many times when I want to short cut the email questions and answers such as:
 
Where is the best place to swim?
    Why, in the water, of course!
 
Where is the best beach?
    The ones at the seashore.
 
Which island is the best?
    The one you are visiting!
 
We are thinking of coming to the BVI, what is the best thing to see in the BVI?
    Yourself!
 
Frenchie also writes:
Dear Miss Mermaid,
 
On my kitchen wall hangs your 2007 'flowers' calendar.  Do you have plans to publish a similar 'large-size' calendar for 2008?
 
Luv  Frenchie
YES!  Soon come mon!  I will have several to choose from, so you can have one in every room...
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- cloudy, overcast, drippy
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 4 Oct 2007 13:01:30 EDT
Very cloudy here with intermittent rains. It's really cooled off and that feels great, of course I am not in Road Town stuck in hot traffic either.  We of course have another tropical wave about 1150 miles east of the Southern Windward Islands.  Rainy days make me sleepy, it just seems like a great time to catch up on naps.  Just ask my cats.
 
 
While I write this the rains have started again and visibility is reduced, obliterating surrounding islands, as if they fell off the edge of the earth. You do know the world is flat.
 
I used to crew on charter yachts. Guests always had a million questions as if we were walking encyclopedias. About 15 years ago I encountered the grand inquisitor.  This seemingly nice and functional lady asked me in all seriousness, how the islands stayed in the same place so we could find them again. Were there giant anchors holding them in place?  Who decided where to put them?  Could a bad hurricane move the islands?  How many years would they float?  What if they sank?
 
The woman was firing questions as me faster than I could answer. I tried to explain they were attached, to the earth, to the sea bed.  She shook her head at me in disbelief and said she just didn't understand how that could work, it was her understanding that islands were islands because they could float and were therefore always surrounded by water.  Maybe that explained why she wore her life jacket on land,each time we anchored.
 
Yes, our floating island believing passenger  would wear her bright orange life jacket ashore to the bars and restaurants and shops. Her family seemed indifferent, as if they were used to this peculiarity.
 
I remember walking in one beach bar and the manager greeted me warmly and then whispered "Why is your passenger wearing her life jacket?"  So I whispered back "In case the island loses it's flotation and sinks."  He never cracked a smile, just said, "OK, that makes sense."  and went on about his business. Years of working at a seaside bar in the Caribbean and he had seen it all. 
 
Later on when things slowed down, he came over and told me that a few nights ago  a very large guest had a heart attack and died right in front of the restrooms while the band was playing Mustang Sally. At the time this out island had no emergency services and *ahem* no stretcher. It's kind of bad for business to have a dead body laying around, while the rest of the crowd is dancing, drinking and dining.
The body was massive and 4 guys could barely lift the man, much less carry him down the beach.  There was no choice. They would have to get the back bar man and his wheel barrow. The back bar man is the guy who handles all the stocking and inventory for the bar. Once or twice a week when provisions for the bar were dumped off at the ferry dock, they would send the back bar man and his wheel barrow to fetch all the goods and bring them down the beach. This particular guy got really good at stacking a dozen cases on this wheel barrow and running down the beach pushing his over laden wheel barrow and not losing a thing along the way.
 
He arrived and 4 hefty men struggled but managed to scoop the man up and into the wheel barrow, they tried covering him with table cloths, but that looked even more ridiculous, as they were quite tropical. Finally the bar man decided to get this over with and he  shot off down the beach with his precious cargo while a special ferry was summoned to take the body away to a morgue on another island. Half way down the beach, he trots passed some drunken men, who holler "Come back for us next!  We're pretty drunk too!"  thinking the man in the wheel barrow was merely drunk and being delivered back to his dinghy.
 
Sometimes in the islands, you just have to make do with what's available and there is no getting around it.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Peak A Boo Sun and Rains
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 3 Oct 2007 15:29:41 EDT
We are continuing to have the scattered rains from the fallout of the ladies who declined to become hurricanes.  Temps have cooled off some.  Waves on the North shore are picking up as the northerly swells seems to have picked up a tad. It's pretty cloudy, so not sure we will much of a sunset to look at.
 
I was talking with someone about working on large yachts as professional crew and at some point the owner shows up and announces he is Captain, even though he is paying dear money to have a professional captain employed on board.  This can result in comedy, disaster or in mancy cases, higher maintenance costs.
 
A smart captain, will defer to the owners' wants, after all it IS his yacht and play thing.  I was working on a gorgeous 140 foot Sailing Yacht as First Mate with  a Czechoslovakian Captain who was a thrill to work with.  It was a custom yacht built to the  owners wants and desires and just incredibly beautiful.  The owner  popped up on board one weekend and we took off sailing around Venezuela with his friends and our short handed crew of three.
 
A few hours later, the owner  managed to put us on a sand bar. At that point, he summoned the captain and me and said "Deal with this, will you?"  and he went to the aft deck to have cocktails with his friends.
 
We spent a few hours laboring and waiting on the tide to rise somewhat, and managed to use the sails to back wind the yacht, and finally we were free again.
 
The owner popped up in the wheel house and took over the helm again!  He said "Aren't you glad it was ME instead of YOU that put us on the sand bar?"  We of course agreed, as that is what you are supposed to do when you work for a zilionaire, just agree with everything and be pleasant about it.
 
As the captain and I got out of earshot, the captain whispered in my ear, "If you or I had been at the helm, then we wouldn't have ended up on that dang sandbar to start with!"  True, so true...
 
Another time we were headed straight for a BIG and I mean BIG rock outcropping that seemed to have popped up out of nowhere in the ocean. The owner was at the wheel and we were wondering at what point we should suggest we change heading and miss crashing into the rocks. The owner seemed more interested in the charts than the rocks we were approaching.
 
Finally he says, "OK, our friend Donald Street has MISSED a rock on his charts!  I am going to plot it on our charts and we must remember to tell Mr Street about this!"    Finally he veered off his crash course and disaster was averted, much to our relief. (Deal with it, will you?)
 
Life is so beautiful in the islands, mon




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- No Storms! Yahoo!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 2 Oct 2007 12:33:34 EDT
We've had intermittent rain showers, nothing big, enough to rinse the dust off the kitties. Now they are all doing it. They all go out and play in the rain. They are adopting each other's idiosyncrasies. 
 
Nothing like having 3 wet kitties snuggle up to you in bed at 2am...
 
It's breezy and beautiful here today!  Another God given day to be alive and well and in the Caribbean.
 
No storms on the horizon, just some more scattered rains heading our way. Swells were small yesterday but a surfer could have had some fun on the odd little wave. This might improve by Saturday, so get your boards waxed up.
 
Tortola is still in shock over the two recent on-car wrecks. Out of the 6 passengers, 4 died, 2 survived (1 from each wreck)  and only 1 yes only ONE was wearing a seatbelt, (one of the survivors.)
 
Two of the deceased women left a total of 9 children behind.  It's unclear how many children the deceased men left behind. But my heart goes out to all  their families. A senseless tragedy that has many families grieving.
 
So, dems be pretty good odds, that you should always wear your seatbelt whether da law say so or not. It is the law here and it is erratically enforced with ridiculously high fines. Also, anyone that lives here, knows that our emergency services may or may not get there in a hurry. They try, but they have to travel down the same bad roads that we do and endure the same number of ridiculously placed speed bumps. That should scare most folks enough to wear a seat belt and drive carefully.




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Sadness in the BVI
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2007 09:59:21 EDT
82 degrees, light winds, scattered clouds. 
 
Tropical Storm Melissa is now degenerating into a low depression and  no threat to us at this time. It is possible that she might bring us a little wave action, as she is predicted to meander northeast of us.
 
Friday through the weekend we might have some surfable swells.
 
The remnants of Karen still includes disorganized cloudiness and thunderstorms east of us, so we could be in for a sloppy week of  intermittent showers as this mess moves closer.
 
I happened to be reading the US state report about what they are currently saying about the BVI to see if it is true or not. Whoever wrote this following excerpt has obviously drove here once:
 
 "Speeding and reckless driving are fairly common in the BVI.  Drivers can encounter nighttime drag racing on main thoroughfares and livestock on roads.  Roads in Tortola's interior can be steep and extremely slippery when wet.  Travelers planning to drive across the island should consider requesting four-wheel drive vehicles and should ensure that tires and brakes are in good operating condition on any rental vehicle." 
 
Actually it's a rather tame report, as if someone merely took a taxi ride from the airport to their hotel room.  I remember the first time I rode in a taxi here we were going down Joe's Hill with our brakes shrieking, and the driver using the emergency brake to slow us down somewhat. The fact that he volunteered that he needed new brakes didn't make us feel one bit better...  I can still see us all crammed in that taxi, our tans had gone from golden brown to stark white as we descended that hill and I remember hearing somebody crunching their teeth. I said about 100 prayers and wondered why on earth I went on this wild ride to start with.
 
Sometimes these taxis push their vans a bit too far. I have ridden in a taxi with the headlights dangling out by wires, banging against the hood as we bounced along.  Another taxi couldn't get the side sliding door to shut, so we rode with the door open.  Every time he stopped, it would slide forward, making a large crash, then  bang open again, as he took off.  The lock wouldn't catch and work properly. This particular driver liked to drive 50mph then stop suddenly, same thing for takeoff, 0-50 in a half second.
 
One time I was in the hospital for a week and emerged with about 100 stitches. My well meaning then boyfriend had left my heap of a jeep at the marina and arrived in a taxi to pick me up "in style". He thought this would be a much more comfortable ride.  Unfortunately, he had chosen a very old taxi with NO and I mean NO shock absorbers. At that time we had a million potholes and bumps and I groaned and screamed, the pain was beyond my control, each bump, his van would land hard on the chassis, like somebody was slamming me against a hard rock each time.  I begged the driver to slow down, who just kept laughing, as if this were on a smooth Merry Go Round and I was merely unhappy, but it was the WORST and I mean WORST vehicle I have ever rode in. 
 
I  arrived at the hotel,  all beat up, and in worse condition than when I left the hospital. I had to move in to a hotel for 6 weeks, as I couldn't live on my little boat with all those stitches and injuries. My heap of a jeep would have been a much better ride. But, once home at the hotel,  I kept my thoughts to myself, bit my tongue and never said a word of complaint, after all I needed my boyfriend to play nurse for awhile and help me out, and nobody wants a crabby patient. He was kind enough to fetch me a stiff drink which I chased with some pain pills and soon the horrible ride was a distant memory as I happily settled into la la land on pain pills.
 
Once on St John, (USVI)  a bunch of us were in a taxi going through the National Park. The very first hill out of Cruz Bay is kind of steep.  His bald tires began spinning out. So the driver politely asked all the men to get out and walk to the top of the hill where he would wait for them. He then drove up with the ladies, parked at the top of the hill, while the out of breath men huffed and puffed up the hill. They collapsed back in the taxi and we made it through the park and to the various beaches without further incident. Every time he stopped to drop folks off he would ask them what time to come back for them, and each would say, "Oh, we don't know, that's OK, I am SURE we will find another ride back..."
 
745am  OH DEAR ME!
I feel sad for writing about the (above) bad traffic and bad drivers here now. My friend just arrived at my home and she is always on top of the latest coconut telegraph offerings. She hitchhikes all over the island, and therefore has plenty of opportunity to meet locals and get the latest. She announced, upon arrival this morning,  that 3 people were killed in a one car accident in Cane Garden Bay early this morning, followed by another fatal accident Friday killing one person. Both were one car accidents. This was news to me, I must get out more often...
 
This makes 6 fatalities this year in the BVI, a record breaking year for sure. Very sad. I know of one other fatality which was also a one car accident. The 6th fatality, I would have to look into to see if it was one or two car accident, I just can't recall.  What a sad year.
 
See BVI News here.  for more info on the two latest one-car accidents. A very sad day in the BVI, with 4 deaths in one weekend, totally unheard of around here.  Probably broke numerous records. The mortuary is probably having their busiest week in history. So sad. My heart goes out to the families and friends of those lost under such tragic circumstances in such a gorgeous place.
 
Wear your seatbelts. Drive defensively, which means, stay out of the way of all the other nuts on the road. I drive as if everyone is out to kill me and stay far away from other vehicles.  Be aware, that our roads are not built for speed, we have awful potholes, sharp unmarked turns, few road signs, open ravines with no guard rails, cliffs with no guardrails,  incredible hairpin switchbacks on steep hills, open drains with no covers and very hard rock walls. Drive like a little old lady, very sedately.  Let the lunatics hugging your rear bumper pass you and stay out of their way. Many folks WITHOUT driving licenses still ply our roads so you are often up against young amateurs who see the driving license requirement a necessity that doesn't apply to them.  
 
To end this report on a happy note, my cat sends you a lick and a wink with his regards. 
This cat nearly always sticks his tongue out when I take his picture. 
My cats seem to possess a weird  sense of humor.
I wonder where they got that from.
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Padded Cell
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2007 10:19:01 EDT
Another gorgeous day in paradise. Today is a day I just want to get up and run around sans clothes. But, alas, my neighbors would not be amused. So I've thrown on a little sarong for modesty. They've already been treated to the frightful sight of my nudity and they are the shoes and  socks types, you know, they don't get out of bed without putting on a full layer of undies, shoes, socks and several layers of outer clothes before venturing out of their bedroom.
 
Back in my younger days, when I lived and sailed aboard my boat, the BVI's was still a well kept secret. I was able to anchor in numerous deserted harbors and drastically reduce my laundry bill.  Tan lines were not in my vocabulary.  I often sailed between ports sans clothing, other than a big straw hat, tied firmly under my chin, lest it blow right off and of course the requisite jumbo sun glasses.
 
Then, for a few years, I had a little tree house island apartment. It was on the 2nd floor, perched on a hill, surrounded by two huge mango trees that only gave me a peek-a-boo view of the harbor. As a result, I was free to run around my home nude, and no one could see me, even if I went out on the balcony.
 
Then I moved. The first morning that  I woke up in my new home, I jumped up and ran out to the verandah to take in the spectacular view. I was standing there in my birthday suit, soaking up the early morning sun, when my neighbors suddenly walked by and started to turn to wave at me. I hastily made an embarrassed retreat and gave them a great view of my rapidly vanishing tail. They have not been overly friendly since. But it's fun to watch them take secret sidelong glances at my verandah, to see WHAT I am up to today...
 
Watching the tropical weather channel this morning, included a report that the Surf will be up on eastern shores of Europe. What?  Did I hear right?  I looked up at the report, and yep, they are showing a map of Europe...  Well, that's not much help here, if you are financially challenged surfer...
 
It's 81 degrees, slight winds out of the east, scattered clouds.
 
Tropical Storm Melissa remains weak and hovering about 500 miles east of the Cape Verde Islands.
 
Remnants of tropical storm Karen are located about 400 miles east of the Leeward islands. We had some heavy downpours last night and early this morning, but they were pretty quick with only brief gusts.  I figured it might rain heavily, since all 3 cats chose to sleep on my bed last night, a rare treat indeed. Of course just recently I got a larger bed, so could be they have just now noticed, that they can sleep on the bed out of kicking range. Not that I kick them. but I move around a lot in my sleep. I am one of those that can climb into a perfectly made bed and wake up with it looking destroyed, as if I was hunting for buried treasure between the sheets.  Sometimes I wake up and find that *ahem*  "someone" has thrown all my pillows in the floor, or the sheets, or the afghan I sleep with.  Other times the pillow is missing the pillow case and I find it wadded up amongst the mayhem.  I always think, now I couldn't have done that, could I?  Must be dem island  jumbies...
 
When I lived on  my little 30 foot sailboat, I mostly slept in the forepeak. Initially I woke up in the mornings with bruises, even though it was a Queen sized bunk.  So I bought more pillows, and outfitted it for comfort, and the nightly bruising stopped. In the mornings, I would get up, smooth out the sheets, and line up all the pillows, neatly around the surrounding bulkheads.
 
My friends, also sailors, came over to visit, and one went to the head and came out and stopped to  inspect my forepeak full of encircled pillows. He came up top where I was sitting with his wife, and announced he knew all along how goofy I was and that my "padded cell" seemed quite appropriate, given my personality. Of course, now his wife had to go below and inspect my "padded cell" and come back up and announce that I had 10 pillows!  Well, yes, I did, but some were larger king size and others smaller standard size and one was shaped like a big sea shell.  Ah, I miss that padded cell, it was really comfy. Even in a storm or rolly anchorage, I would surround myself with the numerous pillow padding and sleep soundly.
 
Today is the last day of September. Tomorrow numerous BVI businesses will reopen after being closed for a month or two while their staffs took vacations and perhaps a few places even did a bit of maintenance before reopening.
 
Oscars Restaurant at Frenchmans Cay Resort reopened a few weeks ago for evening dinners. I popped in recently for a glass of wine. They have over a dozen wines offered by the glass nightly.  I tried not to drool over the beautiful aromatic dinner plates coming out of the kitchen, I had foolishly eaten at home,  but then I caved in and ordered up a Tapa (appetizer) and OH, it was delicious and I left the dishwasher nothing to clean off my plate!
 
Well, I am off to make autumn cookies then run errands, and probably get lost and end up at  the beach.
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Melissa & Karen & Surfers
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2007 09:26:16 EDT
Cloudy, overcast, 82 degrees, gentle winds and breaking seas. Lotsa sunshine peaking out between clouds. Winds come. Winds go. Winds do as they please.
 
Tropical Storm Melissa is the 13th named stormed and lies in the far eastern Atlantic, about 2400 miles from the BVI.
 
Tropical Storm Karen is about 700 miles away, and if she were to head for us, could be here in 50 hours or so. Forecasters think she will pass northeast of us, which will make the surfers happy as we will have great surf for the start of October.
 
Men's Blonde Surfer Dude Costume Wig
Surfer Dude Wig for Halloween
 
USAirways.com has great prices from many cities to STT (St Thomas) for October and November, then you are just a ferry hop away from Tortola. Traveling solo to Tortola?   Click here.
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- I can See Clearly Now, The Rain has Gone...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:11:25 EDT
It was rainy off and on all night. Then pretty gloomy this morning with some scattered rains. Now we have Tropical Depression 14 numbered but unnamed in the far eastern Atlantic. That give it plenty of time to build up strength.
 
Meanwhile, our tropical wave meandered over us, bringing mostly cloudy skies and lazy cats hanging about inside. They have only been out for a quick  trip to the outhouse and then quickly back inside again.
 
Tropical Storm Lorenzo in Mexico is weakening to a tropical depression.
 
Tropical storm Karen, has weaken over the mid Atlantic, becoming quite fickle and indecisive. She is about 800 miles east northeast of the Windward Islands.
 
 
 
 
Dog Business Dress Suit Shirt & Tie Outfit Costume - Size XL
Somehow my calendar is messed up, September 14th, was Take your Dog To Work Day.  I thought it was in October, oops!  I'll try to alert you on time next year.
Hippie Dog Costume
If you have a casual job, then your doggy might look cute as a hippie at work...
Doggie Bones» Doggie Bones Skeleton Dog Halloween Costume - Medium
Here is my favorite for Halloween, the skeleton costume, though whoever drew this, flunked out of estuary school for sure, but still it's funny! 
 
Well, that about wraps it up for a Funny Friday!  The skies have cleared and the rains have settled the dust, it's crystal clear on the horizon.
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- All is Calm, All is not bright
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2007 03:25:16 EDT
TD 13 is in the Gulf of Mexico, and no threat to the BVI. Meanwhile we have had a wave pass right over us, bringing us cloudy skies and not much else. Temps have cooled down and winds finally picked up in the afternoon. The promised rains, floods and mudslides predicted by the doomsayers,  haven't happened.  Whew.
 
Tonight is more like the Dark Side of the Moon, than a Full Moon.  Clouds have made it quite dark rather than brilliantly lit up, as is customary on most full moons. I didn't make it to any parties, instead had company from far away pop up on island and we spent a fun afternoon and evening catching up on the events of our lives since last we saw each other.
 
My friend is one of those people, who can look in a refrigerator of little bits of odds and ends, that would surely depress most cooks, yet  instantly come up with a gourmet menu fit for kings, so I turned them loose in my kitchen, while I reflected upon a gloomy sunset, hidden by clouds while watching the seas roll in with small little waves, not quite big enough for surfers, unless you happen to be two feet tall with a tiny board.  Wait, is that my cat out there surfing on a tiny discarded bit of flotsam?  Or is it just an imagination run amok again?
 
I could hear oohs and ahhs and ah ha's!  as my friend banged around the cabinets and tossed the fridge while two curious cats (one was gone surfing) assisted and in what seemed like mere minutes, produced these incredible Shrimp Enchiladas, the melt in your mouth kind, with shrimp cooked to perfection and spiced just right. No wonder the kitties were so happy, as they love to munch on shrimp peels and look for odd bits left in the tails.  Unfortunately, leftovers weren't forthcoming, as we both ate our plates clean and pronounced the dinner an overwhelming success.
 
Meanwhile, Tropical Storm Karen who is on her way here, has not reached hurricane strength, and for this we are grateful. She is about 1000 miles east of us, moving at 13 mph,  and on a forecasted track to come right near us, going northeast of the BVI.  We don't mind a bit if she spares us, we are ready for hurricane season to be over anyhow.  Currently her winds are 70 mph and need to be 73 to become an official hurricane. She is pretty big with winds extending outwards 205 miles from the center.
 
At 320am, temps are 83 degrees, but feeling quite cool as the humidity seems to have vanished.
 
Beautiful Mermaid Maiden by Leslie of Tampa, Florida




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

- Thunder, Rumble Mumble
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 26 Sep 2007 03:44:58 EDT
We have a tropical wave passing near us. We thought he would go south of us, but he seems determined to come right up here. At 3am we are having lighting and thunder with short intermittent showers.  Winds have picked up slightly.  The cats aren't overly worried though, so that's a good sign.  Two have taken refuge inside, while the 3rd is out roaming still. Usually when bad weather is to follow, all 3 take a united stance indoors.
 
Doom sayers have predicted 70% rains for Wednesday with potential flooding. It's also the full moon again. Well, they do come every 4 weeks or so...
 
A while back I was sleeping one hot summer night under the temporary coolness of the air conditioner. Rare for me to use A/C, but my body was feeling cranky and it seemed like the right thing to do as I was having trouble staying asleep. Finally, a few minutes after turning on the A/C I drifted off peacefully into a comfortable dream land.
 
Sound asleep, I suddenly woke up to light knocking at my bedroom door. Funny, I thought, I am home alone. Who could be knocking at my bedroom door?  As I laid there thinking it a silly dream, the knock came again.
 
Do ghosts knock? 
 
Is it a polite burglar?
 
I was reminded of the child's book of manners "What do you Say Dear?" my mother bought me when I was young. It had fanciful stuff in it such as "What do you say when an elephant knocks at your door?"
 
"Well, you say, "Hello! How do you do?"
 
I tried to doze back off, but I heard that little knocking again.  It seemed rather urgent.
 
Now I was downright curious. WHO or WHAT could be knocking at my door at this wee hour of the night. Perhaps I should arm myself, in case whatever was on the other side, was not a welcome visitor. And who, pray tell, would be a welcome visitor when I thought I was home alone, with all the doors locked up tight?
 
So I grabbed a few weapons of destruction, got out of bed and stood at the closed  bedroom door. Incredibly, the knocking came again, a bit of urgency in this latest knocking. SO as to  startle my nocturnal visitor, I swung the door open rapidly, armed and ready for anything. There was nothing. Then I felt it, a furry swish by my leg.
 
Fat Boy AKA the fat cat, came strolling in the bedroom and curled up next to the air conditioner with a self satisfied look on his silly face.
 
This cat can't remember his name, doesn't understand that the house rules for kitties doesn't change from day to day (No, you may not climb the drapes today either, not tomorrow, not ever, same rules as yesterday, same rules as last year...)
 
This is the same cat who lifts his leg up to scratch an ear or to wash, then can't remember why he lifted it, and sits there staring at it stupidly as if it just grew there while he wasn't looking. There are times we murmur behind his back "His head ain't good." 
 
When he overeats, sitting down at the feed bowl for the 10th time in one hour, because he forgot he was there 9 times already, I often scoop him up and set him outside on the front stoop. He sits there bewildered, trying to remember why he came outside. The door is open, he could just  turn around and go back to the feed bowl, but he sits there confused and dazed. Suddenly a leaf will blow by and he leaps at it like a kitten and wrestles it to the ground, or perhaps he decides to wash a front paw. He might bring the leaf inside, in case his owner is collecting them. I've given up on this curious leaf stockpiling,  and merely sweep his offerings back out the door now and then.
 
Yet, somehow, he has learned he loves air conditioning and taught himself how to knock at doors. I guess he forgot what Meows are for so he knocks and when I am slow to respond, he actually remembers to knock again. Two light taps, like a hesitant person who wants your attention, but isn't ready to knock the door down yet with heavy knocking. Yet this clueless cat,  clearly knocked three times (two raps each time) to get me to open the door and let him into the cool breath of the air conditioning. Where does he learn this stuff?
 
I didn't teach him to knock at the door and if I did, he wouldn't remember it. But somehow, he has worked out in his funny little furry head, that he likes A/C and tuaght himself, to  knock at the door until it opens and lets him in.
 
What Do You Say, Dear?
 
 




See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

Older reports from the BVI have been moved to another page.

Back to top | home | tools | pleas for help | QHWRN | guide | climatology | archive