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- - - 2007 Hurricane Season - - -

- All is Calm...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 14:17:43 EDT
Shake, rattle and roll. It's the first day in a while that I haven't felt some mild tremors in the earth. Nothing shattering, but enough to make me eyeball the door and decide at what point to dash out...
 
I looked at the earthquakes for the last week, and scary indeed, quite a few above 3 on the Richter scale!
 
It seems to take a 3 for me to feel it at my new home on the North shore. I feel it in the tiled floors. Like somebody put a vibrator under the floor. I just pray they all stay mild. I like excitement in my life, but not an earthquake, please.
 
Another tropical wave is on the way and scheduled to hit here later today, but no effects yet, except LOTS of clouds rolling in. 
 
I am going to run out and go swimming before it turns stormy. Besides, my tan is fading, from too much indoor work and who ever heard of a pale mermaid?
 
 
I thought I had such smart kitties.  They have learned and remembered all the kitty rules, such as no scratching of the furniture, (sit, don't scratch!) the litter box moved to the jungle, stay off the countertops (if you value your little scruffy neck), the curtains are NOT a shortcut to the ceiling,  NEVER ever claw me (Mermaids are allergic to cat claws) and keep your paws off my dining table and no walking on the keyboard (tee hee hee).  So we have lived happily in harmony with mutual respect and they have diligently remembered the rules.
 
But...........  somehow, I am having trouble conveying to them one more little rule, which is to leave the bounty or the prey or what have you, OUTSIDE (isn't that what the Welcome Mat is for?  A place for you to deposit dead bodies?)
 
Instead, I am sitting at my desk, on the phone with a business call, when I see a certain cat come rapidly trotting through the open front door with a mouth full of half eaten fowl. I swallowed a muffled scream and tried to continue the call, I mean I couldn't just say "oh the cat just brought a half dead creature into the office..."  that doesn't sound too professional...
 
By the time I got off the lengthy call, I found in the corner under the bar stools, one fat happy purring cat, 2 feathers and a small body part, (I won't bother to describe). I have not found the rest of this bounty, and I assume it is tucked away in kitty's tummy and the feathers most likely blew out onto the verandah.   The kitties  are miffed that I rarely have meaty treats for them beyond the usual blah blah cat food, so they have taken to avid hunting down of their own fresh meat. (Now they know what I have to go through...)
 
So I shoo away the cat, and mop the floor with bleach. As soon as it dried, the happy cat curled right back up in the corner, as if he wanted to relive his memories of that fresh meal. I don't mind them hunting, especially since they have killed over a dozen big ugly rats the past month (they don't eat those of course) but they do find mice tasty.  Which brings me to wonder, why isn't cat food sold "mouse flavored"?
 
__/)~~~~_/)_/)~~~~~~~~~~~__/)~~~~_/)_/)~~~~~~~~~~~__/)~~~~_/)_/)~~~~~~~~~~~
 
If you are lonesome for the BVI, check out this new DVD  released recently:
The British Virgin Islands
The most complete video guide for mariners available today! Includes all the navigation information for the islands, trip planning and preparation, choosing a boat and charter, cruising destinations plus shoreside facilities and services. Explore the islands, including secluded harbors and beaches, the best diving and snorkeling sites and popular moorings.



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- Soon Come Carnival, mon!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 21 Jul 2007 11:54:51 EDT
Looks like we may have yet another tropical wave hit us Sunday/Monday. Today is gorgeous with a slightly gray overcast to the otherwise mostly blue skies. Sun is moderate, winds are brisk, temps in the low 80's.  Life can't get any better on a beautiful island!
 
 
FINALLY the tourist board has released the colorful Carnival Poster, (click here)  just mere days before the start of our annual festival!  Better late than never, I guess...  For a department that talks about promoting this as a tourist event, you'd think this poster would have been made available 10 months ago...Life is still slow here and in many ways, that is good.
 
Sir Francis Drake Ship
 
Back in the good old days, when I sailed the high seas on all manner or yachts and tall ships, and  actually get paid to do so, I traveled very light. Crew quarters were often tight and there was rarely much room to stow stuff. Since most decent yachts and ships provided crew with uniforms, that meant you only needed the occasional outfit to go ashore when off duty. Since we worked extremely hard and rarely had time off, there was little time to take off ashore anyhow.
 
One tall ship I worked aboard, used to admonish the crew to NOT wear your uniform ashore when off duty. The captain said, he didn't want to hear wild tales about crew from the such and such ship was dancing drunk at the top of a coconut tree...
 
If you weren't wearing your uniform, he reasoned you might blend in better, and therefore not disgrace his scallywag of a tall ship, by advertising the name on a uniform.
 
Well, it made sense to me. So I collected up sarongs that I tied into skirts or dresses and that was my off duty clothing.  Sarongs take up very little room and you can compliment them with bathing suit parts.  So much of my off duty clothing was merely a stack of bikinis, one piece tank suits  and a stack of sarongs. ALl this could fit in a backpack, so between ships, there wasn't much for me to lug around. Back then we didn't have GPS, cell phones, lap tops, ipods and all that weighty stuff to travel around with.
 
My inventory of sarongs would grow, without much help from me, because grateful passengers often bought me one as a gift, since we weren't allowed to take cash tips directly (these went into a main pot and were split by all the dozen or so crew.)  But if someone bought you a gift, you could keep it and not have to share with the others.  In the Caribbean, sarongs don't always have a long life, there is the sun, the sand, the salt, the rust and so on that contribute to their eventual demise, especially when you are messing about in boats.
 
On this particle ship, we made two stops a week in St John, USVI. On one of those stops, I went ashore in my dress white uniform, complete with gold bars, to  clear the ship, crew and passengers, through customs and immigration.
 
While at that time it was rare for a female to be doing that type of work, because of the crisp white uniform, I was generally treated quite well by the officials. Afterwards, I would catch a launch back to our anchored ship, tear off the uniform, wrap up in a sarong dress and go back ashore to enjoy a much needed semi-evening off.
 
I say semi-off, because it was also my duty to scout out the bars and islands for entertainment for our passengers and report back same. So as I rode back ashore in the ship's launch I was always accompanied by passengers. I would tell them of the best bars to hang out (the ones I wouldn't be in!) and the where and when the live music would start.
 
Sometimes you just get tired of people and passengers, so I often sent them to the nicest bars while I snuck off to the bars off the beaten track.  These were often the ones frequented by a more rowdy crowd, due to the cheap beers and drinks, so local construction workers and what-have-you often hung out there.
 
One of my favorites was called The Back Yard Bar in Cruz Bay. Sadly, it is gone now. It was a great place, but wasn't really designed for tourists, so it had more local flair and that is where I often snuck off to.  I got to know many locals who also knew I worked on a ship and some had seen me around in my whites, which they thought hilarious, said I looked scary and official!  Others had seen me in my whites, but didn't recognize me, as they assumed I was someone they didn't know, if I was dressed like that!
 
Sometimes the captain wanted a break from the passengers too, and he would join me at the bar. They had a seldom used upstairs section, and we often hung out up there, so if passengers peeked in the entrance, they wouldn't even see us. We called it our hideaway. Most days it wasn't even officially open upstairs, but the bartender, knowing who we were and why we liked to hide, would let us climb over the gate blocking the stairs and go enjoy a cold drink and some peace and quiet, away from the wants of crew and passengers.
 
Often some of the  local trade, would also climb over the closed gate, and  come upstairs and smoke a joint, so sometimes the captain and I got a contact high, and quite honestly, we didn't mind that kind of foolishness. This was back in a time when there wasn't mass hysteria or paranoia over a little marijuana smoking. We had already safely anchored our large ship in port for the night, so please don't think we were putting innocent lives at risk over a few minutes of fun and debauchery.
 
T'ings were more casual then and the frightful laws of today, had not been written on the books yet. To sum it up, back then, you could have FUN now and then, and not be busted by the NO-FUN police. Ah, those days are long gone, but it sure was fun at the time.
 
I didn't realize how limited my wardrobe was until one day when I went to the backyard bar, and a really nice guy I had known for ages, asked me "Do you know folks call you the sarong lady?  They say, the only thing you own is sarongs!  I've seen you around for years, and I've never seen you in anything but a sarong!"
 
Another customer, overhearing the conversation piped up and said "Well I have!"
 
My friend asked what had he seen me wearing?
 
Ah the drunken antics, he said really loud, "I've seen her in her birthday suit at the nude beach!"
 
This was of course met with much laughter and stares, as if everyone wanted to try to undress me with their eyes and it thoroughly embarrassed me, but I laughed along with them, not realizing my captain had walked in and was approaching behind me.
 
We had a great laugh about it, and I explained that I also possessed white ships' uniforms, but that when I wore them, my friends seemed to ignore me, or didn't recognize me. This was met by more laughter, as if I had just told a tall tale. 
 
The captain sat down (he was out of uniform too, having left the First Mate in charge of the ship)  and said he didn't know I went to the nude beach and I explained, well it was just another place to hide from the passengers, when I needed a break away. Of course the nude beach is now gone too, the beach is still there, but the officials have declared it not-nude (those dang Fun police out to bust you for having fun...)  Sometimes I think I lived, worked and sailed  through the Caribbean during the very best of the times!
 
Speaking of fun police (who bust you for having fun)  our tall ship was eventually banned from St John. Not because we had done anything wrong, but the government officials,  decided we could no longer anchor in US Park waters, even though we were careful to never anchor in or near coral and we only carried about 50 people max (a dozen crew and about 35 passengers).  We did everything possible to be eco-friendly, but still they decided to "relocate" us.
 
They picked out a rolly gnarly anchorage in over 300 feet of water and declared that as the only place we could anchor.  We ended up canceling the USVI portion of our trips and after that confined ourselves to the BVI and other down islands.   It's a decision I never quite understood, except maybe, perhaps we were having just too much fun, and they didn't like it!
 
In the morning, after breakfast, we would crank up our outdoor speakers and play a loud rendition of  the tune to Amazing Grace, played by bagpipes,   while we put up the seven or more sails, hoisted the anchors and slowly sailed out of port. At night, in an anchorage, we often played rowdy dance songs and danced on the upper deck.  Sometimes we caught a bucket full of crabs ashore and brought them out to the ship for a visit, "leased" them to the passengers, then  had crab races, complete with side betting and prizes to the winner. After the races, we safely returned the crabs ashore.
 
Upon anchoring in front of a gorgeous beach, our passengers might dive off the bow sprit, or climb the mast to the crow's nest for a bird's eye view of the anchorage. If there wasn't a bar ashore at the beach, (back then, in the dark ages, many beaches were simply unspoiled without hotels or bars, imagine that!)  we loaded up a cooler full of drinks and took those ashore with our passengers. 
 
Yep, we were having way too much fun, and the fun police sought to put an end to that...  but no one can steal the wonderful memories I have of such wonderful times spent, messing about in boats and on islands.
 



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- Plip Plop Drip Drop
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2007 07:19:33 EDT
 
The tropical wave has built up rapidly and hit Tortola and the BVI with a vengeance!  Flash flooding hit us without warning, and roads are covered in rivers, rocks, mud, stones, coconuts, garbage and miscellaneous debris.  I was out at Cane Garden Bay for dinner with a friend. We were celebrating her quitting a rotten job. No kidding!
 
She was surprised that every time she told people here in the BVI,  she had quit her rotten job and then come on vacation, they cheered her onwards and celebrated with her extensively.  She whispered to me, how back at home, family, colleagues and friends, were telling her what a fool she was to quit, what they all perceived as a great job (but one which she hated)  and they all thought she should stay home glued to the phone and Internet, polishing up her resume, as if the poor child would never work again, yet she had a long list of impressive skills.  So why worry?  Be happy mon!  Every little t'ing gonna be all right!
 
Every time she told someone she quit her job, glasses were raised and toasts were made, and she received an overabundance of encouragement, something she never expected. Heck, life is short, live it well.
 
So we ended up dancing at Quitos, to polish off our fantastic dinner, upstairs at Quitos. I had the Thursday night special called IRON STRONG, which was spicy pork, shrimp, mussels, assorted garden veggies and this incredible baked potato, that was carved up to look like a star. The meal was absolutely incredible, the food impeccable.  My friend had the ribs which were so tender, they just fell off the bone with the least bit of effort.
 
Then the rains hit and the storm started and while everybody else had closed up on the beach, the rest ran for cover at Quitos. He did an extra long set playing all his  original  songs, that are found throughout his numerous albums. It took me back in time to when we were both young and Quito was actually tending bar and we discussed and dreamed about launching his first album, which incidentally came out on cassette.
 
 Finally he took a break and put on some heavy oldie goldie blues on  to play, such as Percy Sledge, "When a man, loves a woman..."
 
The rains poured down, the lightning lit up the beach which  was rapidly covered in rivulets.  Rain was pounding vertically, then blowing horizontally,  and at times appeared almost upside down, as it hit the ground which such force it bounced back upwards!
 
A slight lull in the storm appeared after midnight, I bade my friend a hasty goodnight and ran-walked to my car, about a half mile down the beach.   As I backed out of my LEGAL parking space (tee hee hee)  the heavens opened up and my car was treated to a heaven-sent pressure wash.
 
I creeped over the mountain, unable to see in the pounding rain, dodging rocks, stones, mud slides, garbage, two foot deep disguised pot holes and then came across a 50+ foot tree down across the road.
 
I thought UT OH, I am going to be sloshing on foot in this muck, the rest of the way home, but then I noticed that some good Samaritan, had come along and cleared a teeny tiny passage and I was able to barely scrape around the fallen tree in my trust rusty leaky jeepy.
 
The big mammoth SUV that had diligently attached himself to my rear bumper, since leaving the beach, had beamed these ridiculously bright lights on, the entire trip over the mountain,  that made it even harder for me to see, as his lights lit up the entire inside of my jeep. At the downed tree, he  was not so lucky. As I passed through the sheets of relentless rain across the tiny cleared path, I saw the monstrous SUV, in my rear view mirror, had to stop, as their  vehicle appeared too wide to go onwards.  Normally I would have stopped to help, but my magical powers were having an off night and I just didn't think I could shrink their extra wide vehicle nor move a 50 foot tree by sheer thought process. Mermaids get tired too, sometimes.
 
I kept plowing through muck, rains, rocks, and rivers where my home street used to be and finally made it home to park in a lake where my driveway used to be.   Whew!  Kitties ran out in the pouring rain and hastily escorted me inside, demanding to know with their plaintive meows, where the heck had I been in this deluge, while I grabbed a fluffy towel and dried them off.  Since they are survivors of the infamous floods of November 2003, they get a tad nervous when flash floods appear. At that time, the floods caught us unaware, and we had no emergency kitty litter box stashed away for emergencies (ooops!).  The hapless cats had to go out periodically to do their private business and would come back home, soaked to the bone with mud up to their little furry droopy wet ears. I ran though a month's worth of clean towels, trying to keep the felines from mucking up the place. I remember at one point, there was a muddy mosaic of little paw prints winding around the floors.
 
I changed out of my soaking clothes, hung them up to dry in the bathtub,  and climbed into bed, with this heavenly fluffy afghan,  followed by my concerned creatures, who staked much of the afghan all to themselves, leaving me a teeny tiny corner to cover up with. Lightning would brilliantly light up the room, then plunge us into darkness again.
 
I thought about the crowd I left behind at Quito's and wondered how late they would dance and sing and watch the sheets of rain across the harbor. I drifted off to sleep to the sounds of constant rains. Around 4am, I woke up and the kitties scampered outside.  I stayed up to watch the sun come up and look at the gray skies and the soaked garden. I noticed all my verandah furniture has been power washed by the storm, including the seat cushions. Then I noticed paint chips, thousands of them, all over the tiled flooring, I guess it rained which such force, it stripped the paint right off the railings.  Incredible! 
 
I was planning a trip to town today, but I have second thoughts now, as loosened rocks and boulders are prone to dislodging and crashing down on the carriageways, maybe I will just stay put and mop up my paint chips.
 
Here's a picture of what hit us:
  
 
 
 



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- Stormy Day
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2007 14:10:09 EDT
Stormy weather today, much cooler temps. A lazy day for a good book. Rainy off and on. Sun fighting to play peek a boo with the clouds. Cooling breezes slide by.
 
The Queen of England rode through Road Town in this once pristine, Lincoln in 1964. Yes, its has the infamous suicide doors. It was the last time this car was driven, as the owner, Bob, of Smugglers Cove, decided to park it for posterity. For years, it sat in the middle of his bar. A few years back, it was shoved out of the bar and into the bushes where it remains. Bob has moved onwards, his ashes scattered on the beach nearby.
 
On Tortola, and many small islands,  if you lose something, look for it and ask around, 90% of the time, you will get it back!  Also, notify the police lost and found, sometimes people turn valuable things into them. Often strangers will try to hunt you down and return your stuff.
 
Years ago, on an island I will NOT NAME, my elderly neighbor asked me for a ride to the police station. She had somehow lost her purse and it most unfortunately had her passport in it. She didn't care about the contents, but getting her passport back was paramount. She had retraced her steps, made numerous calls and notified the police.
 
Lo and behold, a day later, the police called and told her to come identify her purse.
 
We dashed off to town.  I waited in an illegal parking spot, while she ran inside to grab her purse. When she came out 10 minutes later, she was followed by several cops who were grinning as if they were about to burst out laughing.  I smiled and waved at them, they waved back and laughed, I thought perhaps they were laughing at my heap of a jeep.  It was my older jeep, before my newer one (note my newer one is only 17 years old...)
 
My friend hopped in the jeep and asked  me to "Go! Go! Go!" as if she had robbed the place. So off we ran towards the bank so she could cash her retirement check.
 
Meanwhile she digs through her purse and says "Well, everything is here!  Including my bag of pot!"
 
"Your bag of pot?"
 
"Yes!" and she waves this bag of herbs in my face then deposits it back in her purse.
 
"It's for medicinal purposes"  she mumbles and looks out the window.
 
I don't believe her, and can hardly contain my laughter which is coming out, no matter how much I try to stifle it. Finally I burst out laughing and we both laugh hysterically as we head for the bank. You just never know...  This woman was quite a few years beyond retirement age. 
 
She explains how she went in the police station and identified her purse and they asked her to check the contents and she glanced inside, pulled out her passport , said it was hers and tried to leave. The police kept asking her if she wanted to check further and make sure EVERYTHING was in there. She tried to assure them it was all there, as she was heading for the door. They were asking her more questions, like don't you want to check ALL the contents and go through your wallet?  And she is assuring them, it is all there and thanking them and all the while trying to get out the door.
 
She didn't care if the bag of pot had been confiscated, she just didn't want to shame the family or try to explain to her grandchildren and great grandchildren that great-grandmother had been arrested for a bag of weed...
 
We know the police had to look in her purse to find the ID, then call her.  But did they look at everything?  On this particular sleepy island, I suspect they had nothing better to do, than go through her purse and check out the lip stick, wallet of small cash, one credit card, a drivers license, a social security card, pictures of children, grand children, great grand children, a brush, a comb, a small mirror, two pens, one checkbook, a passport, a retirement check, still in the envelope, a phone bill, an electric bill, fingernail clippers, a set of keys, a small flashlight, a change purse with assorted coins, reading glasses in a case, two sea shells, three stainless steel nuts and bolts in a small bag, two bottles of pills, a cigarette lighter, a half used pack of cigarettes  and WHAT?  A bag of herbs?  In granny's purse?
 
They must have laughed themselves silly!  What's even funnier, is they apparently decided granny needed it more than they did, and that she probably wasn't some dangerous crook or dealer, so back in the bag went the herbs and they called her up to claim her purse.
 
Lucky granny...she got her purse and passport back!
 



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- A Great Barefoot Day
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:15:38 EDT
We've had some rains the past few days. Today though we have mostly blue skies and a few scattered clouds.  Winds are brisk. Sailors are out in full force it seems. Tourism has slowed down some.
 
The waters are warm and feeling terrific.
Prospect Reef in foreground with Road Town and Harbor in background.  Ah the colors of blue!
 
Picture courtesy of Lori and Ken.  Thanks for sharing!
 
Barefoot Pirate: The Tall Ships and Tales of Windjammer
I recently read this book and found it quite fascinating, especially since I had sailed on four  of the tall ships written about. Even if you have never sailed, it's a real page turner with fabulous photographs and
Barefoot Pirate: The Tall Ships and Tales of Windjammer



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- Wasabi
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2007 06:38:41 EDT
At 6am gthe thunder and lightning woke me up. In the distance I hear great rumblings and mumblings.  The skies are thick and bluish gray.
 
Yesterday we had intermittent rains much of the day.  Today looks like it may be much the same.
 
The hazardous weather report is empty today. Winds are moderate at 10-15 knots. 80 degrees this morning.
 
Hodges Creek Marina
 
I used to anchor here before there was a marina. One night found me, a friend and a new puppy, anchored in this then peaceful anchorage.  I made Tuna Sushi Rolls for dinner. We were dining on deck. We both loved Wasabi, that spicy green Japanese horseradish that offers up a sharp tasty bite (as well as  known to instantly clear the sinuses.)   Some soy sauce and pickled ginger complimented our tuna-seaweed-rice dinner. 
 
At each meal, we tried to teach the puppy not to bother our food, and not to hang around and beg. We usually fed her at the same time so she would ignore our food, but she was a puppy, and would wolf her food down hurriedly, so she could stand by our table and beg.  We were trying to stop this behavior, and thus far we had been careful to guard our food and make sure she didn't steal any.
 
We had just got comfy and maybe tasted one or two  tuna sushi rolls, dipped in soy sauce and smeared with a bit of Wasabi, chased down by pickled ginger, when we heard the call for help.  A fisherman, in a dinghy, had somehow become entangled on something, and his little boat was stuck out in the harbor. The engine wouldn't start and paddling was getting him nowhere.
 
We jumped in the dinghy and ran over to assist. His engine had tangled with a frayed hidden mooring line, we used a knife to set it free again.  We returned to our boat, looking forward to eating the rest of our dinner.  But alas, the young puppy had beat us to it!  All the sushi was gone including the huge blob of bright green Wasabi.
 
Puppy stood there with her eyes as big as saucers, her bright green tongue hanging out, her nose running, her eyes watery and she had drank her water bowl dry and still looked to be in shock. We couldn't stop laughing, the look on her face was hilarious!  That amount of Wasabi must have burned her tongue and throat and made the poor thing wonder what on earth had hit her. Water doesn't cure the Wasabi heat,  as most folks eat Wasabi in tiny amounts, not huge globs like this puppy had. Something starchy, like the rice in sushi tempers the burn.
 
We fetched her water and more dry kibble, to try to ease the burn.  I will never forget those huge glassy eyes of horror on that little puppy's face, when we returned to the boat. And that was the First and the Last time, that puppy ever stole people food.   Talk about a lesson learned!!!



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- BVI Bowling Alley
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2007 16:28:38 EDT
Those tropical waves just keep rolling off of Africa, headed out way.  It's like a bowling alley, the waves are the balls and the islands are the pins. Let's hope there are no strikes this year!
 
I went up to Virgin Gorda yesterday.  It's amazing all the new roads they have cut in every where since I used to frequent the place weekly on charter yachts plus building is going on everywhere!  What they need os to plant more shade trees. I believe it is 10 degrees hotter up there and still no shade. I came back with a tan just from running around all day.  We rode across the island in the back of a pickup truck that alternated between 90mph and slamming on brakes for speed bumps or hitchhikers. Part of the black  truck liner came off on our clothes. Ugh!
 
The restaurant we chose for lunch was the same one the kid's sailing summer camp showed up at, so there were 100+ orders ahead of ours and I felt sorry for the hapless chef and prayed they had enough food to still make ours (they did!).  The Sir Francis Drake channel was choppy but not unmanagable. 
 
Here is a terrific picture submitted by Ken and Lori! 
 
NANNY CAY EXPANDS BEACHES
 
 



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- Do the right t'ing, Mon!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 12 Jul 2007 07:27:26 EDT
We finally did get some rains yesterday, so all is green and cisterns topped up again. Ready for anything now...  Scattered clouds still dot the skies.  I am crossing the Sir Francis Drake channel today and heading for Virgin Gorda.  It's cool and breezy today, so it should be a fine day for travel.
 
Another tropical wave has rolled off Africa, but no threat to us yet. A tropical wave southeast of us, looks like it may stay south of us and dump rain further down island, with little effect here.  This is good that we are up to July 12th and only two named storms so far. Yahoo!
 
FREE RANGE CHICKEN DINNER SPECIAL...
 
If you were sitting at a marina bar and someone fell off the dock and into the water, would you;
    (a) sit and laugh about it
    (b) run to their rescue
    (c) pretend it didn't happen
 
Recently I was having a late lunch at a marina and an older couple had been alternately drinking and running errands.  At some point they returned with groceries, had another drink and then was intent of getting into their dinghy and departing.  It was a leaky old deflatable. The skinny little man hopped in all right, but his plump lady friend stepped on the deflated pontoon and KER-SPLASH she was down in the murky marina water.
 
We heard laughter around us, and I sure hope they were laughing at some joke, and not the woman's predicament.
 
My dining partner, a petite sailing lady, and I, jumped up and ran to help.  Much to our shock, no one else did.  We were tripping over male drinkers and diners, to get to her, yet no one else jumped up. We managed to grasp the woman's arms, but alas, she outweighed us, and all we could do was hold her, we couldn't seem to lift her high enough to get in the dinghy or up on the high dock.  By now the woman was in tears and thoroughly embarrassed. Had it been me, I would have been nervously laughing my head off, demanding to know who moved the dock...
 
ONE LONE MALE, finally appeared on the scene,  and aided us in getting her out of the water and into the dinghy. Everyone else continued their dining and drinking as if this scene had never unfolded. Maybe they were all blind.Maybe they were all deaf. Usually a loud SPLASH will turn heads?
 
Where is the chivalry?  My goodness!  I would hate to think I or anyone could trip and fall in the water and listen to laughter while no one came to help.
 
The poor soggy woman kept saying how embarrassed she was and my friend said "Oh don't worry, we've all done it before!"  and I chimed in with "Well, when we mess about with boats, we're bound to get wet now and then, don't worry, nobody saw you!"
 
I figured I could safely say that, since the crowd (mostly males) had seemingly ignored this gaffe. The skinny old man got the pontoon pumped up, we loaded up their groceries, and thankfully their engine fired up right away so they could make a hasty exit and off they went.
 
My dining partner and I returned to our table.  I sat there thinking, gee whiz, that is scary, that so few showed up to help and there were quite a few bulky strong men around that could have whipped that woman out of the water in no  time while my friend and I were struggling with her.  Mind you the dock was a good bit higher than the water level and this made it especially difficult. Another annoying thing is that few marinas have ladders on the docks!  I kid you not.  Had we not shown up to help, the woman would have had to swim around looking for a boat with a boarding ladder.  Not many boats at a marina keep a boarding ladder launched.  While those in great shape with acrobatic tendencies would have had no trouble vaulting themselves three and a half feet up onto the dock, many of us, sadly could not.
 
Of course, had it been me, I would have screamed HELP as I am not too embarrassed to ask for help.  Most folks will help, once asked, but apparently most won't help if unasked, as we saw first hand.
 
This made us wonder was it age and beauty?  Had she been some skinny 18 year old nymph in skimpy clothes, would the aid had been faster forthcoming?  Or have we raised a race of wimpy men?  It is scientific fact, that males have more natural upper body strength than women.  That is why they are expected to lend a hand when weight matters are involved. Duh.  This lady was no spring chicken and she was a bit plump, but still, does that matter when you need a rescue?
 
Maybe the rest didn't hear the splash or see this scene unfold. Maybe they weren't sailors like us, who instantly spring into action when a fellow sailor needs help. It was a mystery to us.  We spent the next hour studying the male crowd and out of ear shot,  labeling them all WIMPS except for the lone male who jumped in to help us. Maybe they just weren't taught to "Do the right t'ing, mon!". 
 
Be da solution, not da problem, mon...



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- I'd Rather be Snorkeling...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 09:53:45 EDT
Another gorgeous day, but with scattered cloud cover. Winds are expected to pick up today and it sure is rather cool and breezy this morning.
 
The 2007 BVI Marine Shelter List has been published here. We don't have any storms to run hide from yet, but just in case, check it out, if you have a boat in the BVI.
 
I am LEGAL again!  Yahoo!  Finally got my work permit. It was way late, and took all day. I've been illegal for a few weeks now, and that has really scared me. I try to play by all the rules, but dang it, those people are burying themselves in paperwork.  Further more, they made me go buy pictures and present them to Labor, then THEY took my picture with their camera!  Sheeeeeesh. Make up your mind! 
 
I saw mountains of files stacked up all over the offices, in the floor, on desks, on the water cooler, just piles and piles of folders.  Everyone had computers, so why all these mountains of files? 
 
There is no air conditioning in the waiting room for Immigration and Labor and no open windows. It's like a murderous oven in there. We sat around sweating and moaning and voted that the harassment and outrageous fees we pay for a work permit are torture enough, without having to battle the oven like waiting room.  ARGH!  Those scallywags ought to be keel hauled for treating us so shabbily.
 
I kept missing my number being called because I kept going outside to keep from fainting. So I was number 86, 99, 14, 38, 45 and then someone gave me 43 and I gave away 45.  I think someone should show up at opening, grab all the numbers and auction off the best ones. I would gladly pay $20 for a quick number, as opposed to a five hour wait number.  At some point, the numbers quit moving so I went shopping and had lunch and came back later. It was still ridiculous hot, so  I was  fetching copious amounts of water from the rest room (and missing my number again). At some point, I fell asleep.  Someone woke me up and told me they had called my name so I dashed inside the office only to be told my name had not been called.  I said "Oh, I am sorry!  Someone WOKE me up and told me you had called my name..."  this was met with an odd stare from the staff and I left mumbling about having my sleep disturbed...
 
I went back to sleep and around closing time, they finally called me. They mentioned that my immigration status was out of whack by a few weeks. I  said "Oh my God!  Have I been waiting here THAT long?"
 
This was met with a cold stare and a demand for more money which I forked over.  After they gave me my paperwork, I checked it to make sure it was dated correctly. (One year they dated it all wrong and what a huge mess THAT was.)
 
Next, I went to the bank machine and parked illegally, cause there was no where within a 1/2 mile to park legally. I hopped out of my heap of a jeep and the slammed the door, which apparently bounced back open.  While I was standing at the bank machine, a Police Cruise came by and the cop yelled out the window "Is THAT your jeep?"  I look over and see the door ajar, without thinking, I owned up to it. (I figure it's best not to lie to the police...) 
 
"Well MOVE IT!"  he yelled back and drove off. I didn't care, I was too eccstatic about getting my paperwork straitened out.
 
Fortunately, my bank transaction was done, so I dashed for the jeep and moved it to another illegal spot, that was close to my favorite Oriental Take Out Shop (Simply Delicious) and prayed the same cop wouldn't come by and catch me again...  I mean I would park legally, if I could find a spot but all the parking spots are gone by 815am and nothing comes open until about 615pm, so there is rarely anywhere for the rest of us to park. I think some spots are occupied 24 hours!  Also the empty spots tend to be reserved for government cars, and they are always, well out of the road. But I hear horrible things happen to you if you park in an empty reserved government spot. I think those government workers should have to fight for a spot, just like the rest of us!
 
I'd rather be snorkeling...
 
 
  Fish Identification Cards - Reef Fish - British Virgin Islands - 9 x 6
 



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- Un-Hurricane Party
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 9 Jul 2007 18:20:36 EDT
Title: AOL Email
Ooops!  I missed a few days, but sometimes I am forced to work for a living and the list of "to do's" is longer than the "got done" list at the end of the day. But, I am proud to let you know Tortola is still on the map and we are experiencing gorgeous weather that ranges from 80-88 degrees with tradewinds to keep us cool.
 
I was  overlooking at the Sir Francis Drake channel today, and it was rather choppy, sloppy today, but the North shore is kind of flat.   I am sorry to report, the camera was left at home on the charger. (Darn it!)
 
We have a tropical wave southeast of us, looks like it might even pass south again.
 
No storm on the horizon, so all is well there, whew!
 
However, Gert, the wonderful webmaster for  StormCarib.com  is visiting here in August. Last time he visited, we had a hurricane pass by  and we shared a great hurricane party together, minus electricity, of course. Come to think of it, that was the only hurricane I spent without a generator.  So this year, I will have to once again, organize a hurricane, for his visit...  I mean a party!    We should have an UN-hurricane party... 
 
UNHURRICANE PARTY LIST.....
 
shop for lots of liquid libations and set up large bar
shop for lots of comfort foods and set up snack area
shop for lots of ice and fill up coolers with ice, important liquids and perishables
clear furniture off balconies and verandahs, this will crowd your living room with extra furniture, but also give you loads of super cozy sitting & lounging areas
use copious amounts of zip lock baggies in all sizes, to waterproof  all valuables, such as herbs, electronics, computers, cameras, TV's, stereo's and so on (large garbage bags help)
turn off all electricity
unplug all phones, turn off cellulars
disconnect Internet and cable TV  (in a real hurricane, all these luxuries disappear in quick order)
pretend the only water you have is in the cistern (without an electric pump) open up floor access,  fetch it by bucket and rope for flushing, washing, showering
light lots of candles and spread throughout house, all should be in globes or have hurricane glass globes
eat, drink and chat, alternately pretending to be absolutely terrified for a while (just like a real hurricane)
step outside once an hour or so,  to look at the un-hurricane, have someone fling a large could bucket of salt water over you (just like in a real hurricane)
close up all windows and doors and go outside and hose forcefully with water around doors and windows, (this will typically produce indoor wall waterfalls, just like the real hurricane)
continue party for 24-72 hours, naps are OK, as long as at least one or two are awake to continue the vigil
listen to a battery operated radio at all times, use all your clean towels to mop up the mess
 
DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY, EVERY LITTLE T'ING GONNA BE ALL RIGHT... That' is why we have hurricane parties, to convince ourselves, every little t'ing gonna be all right, and if it isn't then well, we went out with a BANG and had FUN! 
 
When un-hurricane party  is over, expect to do major spring cleaning at home & all around your  neighborhood (just like a real hurricane). Send out large amounts of garbage, laundry (and guests...)
 
Here is a fun party game for the Un-Hurricane Party...
At beginning of party, everyone puts their name on a piece of paper, wadded up  in hat #1
In hat #2, put a piece of paper representing # at party, wadded up such as 1-10 for 10 people
At end of un-hurricane party, draw out a number, then the corresponding names, such as a #3 would produce 3 names. Those 3 people have to pretend they lost everything in the hurricane and fork over complete reimbursement for the party supplies and clean up... 
 
Alternatively,everyone can put up a a set amount of funding, such as $20 each or $100 each at the beginning of the party, at end of party, you draw number and names, they get to split the pot and the rest have lost theirs in  the UN-hurricane...
 



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- Waterproof Charts
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2007 11:17:26 EDT
Today is 07 07 07!  Wow!  I bet lottery ticket buyers are going nuts and casinos probably have all sorts of specials going on. By the end of the day, we will hear of many 7-7-7 tales. I already ran into a lady (Nicole) who flew to Tortola to celebrate her birthday today! 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all you lucky 7-7-7 folks!
 
A tropical wave is moving into the southern windward islands this morning. On Tortola, we already had a spit of rain this morning that was quite cooling. The ocean is gently lapping in today and surf is threatening, so you might be able to boogie at Bombas and Josiahs Bay Beach.
 
I am sure we have SOMEONE on Tortola who is 100 years old today. People live a loooooooooong time here and many work way past traditional retirement age.  (It pays to live life in the slow lane...)
Frenchmans Cay, foreground,Soper's Hole (anchorage) followed by West End Tortola,
Jost Van Dyke & Little Jost in background with Sandy Spit showing to the right (east).
My dear friends L & K, got high last week and took this picture...
 
 
The summer slump is here which means rooms and air fare is cheap, life is slower, and the crowds aren't crowded.  So,   I am working towards my emergency stash of hurricane (or himmacane) tuna  for Dear Miss Mermaid and the kitties.
 
We are selling Virgin Island Charts to earn money!  
 
We put our tails together, (where our brains are located...)  and decided if YOU ARE READING THIS REPORT, then you NEED a  Virgin Island Chart.
 
As of today, I have sold one chart and the kitties none.  (I wonder who will win this race...)  However, the kitties did deposit one big fat dead ugly rat on my doorstep this morning, to show their willingness to try...
 
So for all you  Sailors, BVI enthusiasts, past, present, future tourists, travelers, children-of-the-planet, nautical and map buffs, I present to you by Mail Order:
 
(Each chart you buy, provides Dear Miss Mermaid one can of tuna.  No kidding!)
 
   Designed for recreational boaters, fishermen and divers. Because Waterproof Charts use only high quality synthetic paper and inks, they look great and really last - Use them on deck in any weather rain or spray! Both the Coast Guard and Navy rely on these charts for accuracy, yet they are designed for simple use with GPS by the average boater. The durable charts are foldable and easy to hold and store. Plus, Waterproof Charts are so tear resistant you simply cannot ruin them!
 
For you electronic buffs, also see:
(Each cartridge you buy, provides Dear Miss Mermaid five cans of tuna.  No kidding!)
 

MAX, the latest generation in cartography, brings electronic charts to life. See NavAids on-screen exactly as they appear through your pilothouse window. Get "at-a-glimpse" information about current strength and direction. Even view an aerial photograph of an unfamiliar inlet before you enter. MAX gracefully combines unparalleled levels of chart accuracy and detail, striking presentation and a huge collection of new value-added data. Building on the incredible success of C-MAP NT+ (voted Best Electronic Charts by the NMEA for 6 consecutive years), MAX infuses a new generation of chart plotters with lightning fast, knockout performance plus real-life accuracy and detail. All cartridges are programmed to order for the most up-to-date information available. Choose the Design (Plotter Manufacturer) and Style (Plotter Make) that's compatible with your chart plotter.



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- 7pm
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 5 Jul 2007 19:03:33 EDT
 
Warm and Sunny Regards,
Dear Miss Mermaid
DearMissMermaid.Com



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- Carnival Soon Come, Mon!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Thu, 5 Jul 2007 13:11:13 EDT
 Beautiful day with steady tradewinds keeping us nice and cool and comfy. The marine forecast is showing stiff winds, so it's a great day to be out sailing. The tropical weather discussion shows no untoward weather, so don't worry, be happy!
 
 
I foolishly ran to town yesterday in hopes of obtaining my work permit. Ha!  Might as well have gone to the beach except I needed some Sahara Dust meds.  I should have known something was wrong when I was able to park within a quarter mile of the labor department.  That is just unheard of! 
 
As I approached the labor building, I noticed quite a few people loitering outside.  This can't be good. I knew some of them too. But this is the labor department. No one talks except to say hello or good afternoon.  No one talks because no one is sure they are legal or under the right name or under the right job classification. Everyone is scared, about the what ifs...
 
So I say my good afternoons and we sternly acknowledge each other, we don't dare talk about a thing, then I wander inside to an overflowing room full of silent morose people.  More I knew. Everyone looked glum. There wasn't a spare seat in sight and a notice on the glass doors to labor informed the public that the cashiers have gone off...
 
For some reason I can not make heads or tails of, they have complicated things. The cashiers only accept certain monies on certain days and hours. This is new. I had MISSED my allotted time and according to the schedule would have to wait another week until the cashiers felt like taking my money.
 
I have never seen a government that is so HARD to pay!  You would think the cashiers would be there 8 hours a day with hands out to take all the money we could fork over as fast as possible. After all, the government has a huge fleet of gas guzzling SUV's to maintain...
 
I was thoroughly defeated.  So I left and went to see if the cell phone company could do anything with my phone which works randomly. Of course it works perfectly within 500 yards of the cell company, but anywhere else, it has, as of late, become erratic and random. Argh! 
 
Next I drove to Qwomars drug store and was once again, thoroughly amazed and bedazzled that I actually was able to park within 1000 feet of the door!  Where were these wonderful parking spots when I was hobbling around in my 100 pound cast?  Furthermore, I was the only person in line for meds.  I was so elated that I thought I would peruse their fingernail polish. It came in two colors. One is metallic blue, which I already have and the other was bright purple. That was it, take it or leave it. Life in the islands...
 
Next I checked out their herbal section and was quite pleased to see they had expanded on this considerably and furthermore they had some of my medicinal herbs at about a third the cost of what I have been paying at another store (which I shall leave unnamed).  This cheered me up a good bit and almost made up for my lack of work permit renewal. At the cashier's station, I noticed some exotic chocolate, priced out to be about 40% less than a competing store. WOW, is this my lucky day or what?
 
Next I headed for the wholesale store and nearly fainted at their "new" prices and everything is unmarked so it's a guessing game. I loaded up the buggy, went to the cashier and said "I don't want to drive you crazy, but what are the prices on all this stuff before I buy it?"
 
I was shocked that many things had soared in price and I have no idea why, but I put everything back, save for a sack of potatoes, onions and a case of Mango Juice. The juice was no bargain, but for seven years I lived under a huge mango tree and spent the summer drinking mango juice, courtesy of my noisy blender.  So this summer, I am in my new place, which does have banana trees, but no mango tree. I have really missed my morning mango juice, so I splurged on the juice, after all vitamin C and all the wonderful stuff fin mangos are good for mermaids.  If you don't have a mango splitter, get one, they are terrific!
 
My cell phone rang and startled me, it's been so long since it worked, I couldn't  believe I was actually getting a call. It my dear friend who was hanging out at Village Cay Marina. She asks me to meet her at the pool for a cold drink and informs me by whispering into the phone "they are allowing people to smoke at the pool to keep the sailors from committing mutiny on the staff..."  My friend is a smoker and since these new fangled smoking laws came out, she has been keeping me abreast of where you can and can't smoke on Tortola.
 
I met her at the pool. Not a soul was in the pool, but a crowd of smokers were lounging around it.  My friend was excited because she had been able to pay her parking fine, as for some reason, there wasn't a huge long line of people at that government office. I was shocked she got a parking ticket, I remember when she was driving me around in my cast, and I was saying "Just park on the side walk, I am disabled and we don't have any handicapped parking anyhow."  She would always want to find a legal spot, trouble was, the legal spots were no where near where we were going!  So often, she parked illegally, but remained in the car, while I hobbled out with my cast and walker and so on, that way she could move if a copy came along iwth a ticket book. So I was shocked that SHE got a ticket and then found out she got one at the airport. Well, I warned you all about that a while back, when I was at the airport, being stalked by the ticket lady, who never got a chance to ticket me, so I was soooooooo lucky. I guess my friend wasn't so lucky.
 
Back at the pool, I went up to the bar to order something cold, and another friend was sitting there celebrating. She said she went to the bank and only had to wait 10 minutes in line, and she was in such a state of shock, she came to the bar to celebrate and even ordered up a lunch for herself.  Only on Tortola would someone celebrate for getting their banking done in under 10 minutes!  It's a rarity, and probably will never happen in her lifetime again.  (It's also the universal BVI employee excuse for lengthy lunches "I was at the bank!")
 
I think the banks should move to the restaurants. That way you can take a number for your banking, sit down, order lunch and by the time you are done, your bank number might be coming up to do your banking.  I have stood in bank lines, and people constantly grumble how hungry they are, as most have been in line long enough to miss a meal or two....
 
That reminded me I had banking to do.  After refreshments, I hiked to my bank and did my business there at the machine. It's the only machine on the island that actually accepts deposits.  It's the only reason I opened an account there. I resent standing in line for 2 hours just to make a deposit. I didn't bother to take the car, I was already parked within a 1/2 mile of the bank and getting any closer, would have been too big a miracle to expect, after being able to park so close to the drug store, earlier.
 
I was still down about not getting my work permit renewed, so I treated myself to Simply Delicious, the oriental take-out food place. Oh they have the best food and the price is right, only $5 for a meal. Probably the best bargain on the entire island!  I bought my dinner and an extra one for lunch today. Yummy!
 
 
Enjoy a great day in the tropics!
 
 



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- Life's a Carnival
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 3 Jul 2007 14:24:13 EDT
We had a sudden downpour of rain this morning, it felt terrific but didn't last long. All is dry by now, with no evidence left.  We have a tropical wave due east of us around 19North 46West to 3North 47West, moving at 15 mph with isolated showers. The forecasters expect development will be slow to occur and that just suits me fine.
 
Kind of like the slow service we get around here anyhow, we like t'ings slow.
 
Currently we have bright blue skies with scattered clouds.
 
Check out this sunset from last night!
 
The sun is like a controlled fireball, brilliantly shining across the near still waters of the Caribbean Sea, with Jost Van Dyke in the background.  See maps.
 
53rd BVI Emancipation Festival
July 23, 2007 to August 11, 2007
This annual festival is also known as August Festival and is the Territory's Premier Cultural showcase with an array of activities, events, including the freedom march, emancipation service, calypso monarch competition, boat races, rise and shine tramps, August Monday’s Parade and much more.
So get out your glitter and work on your costume, remember sequins, feathers, boas are always in vogue at carnival and the more the merrier, dress to excess!
 
Which, this week, you can run over to St John and enjoy the carnival there all week, party all night, dance in the streets and so on.
 
Speaking of St John, umpteen years ago, when I lived aboard my boat, I was moored in Cruz Bay, St John when my brother arrived for a week of vacation. Somehow he missed the part about it being carnival week.
 
So the first night, we went ashore and there was great music, dancing in the streets, food and craft vendors adorned the sidewalks. Typical, St John style, there was loads of hugging and my brother met lots of interesting people.  That night we slept on the boat to the heavy thump-thump-thump of the 42 speakers ashore at the band stand.
 
My brother said "My goodness!  How do you sleep around here?"  and I replied "Well, it's a carnival!"
 
He was too tired to sail that day and there was a horrific swell, so we decided to stay another night. Out we went, to dancing in the street, tasting the food goodies and shopping for crafts. That night we slept to the sounds of the band until 4am.
 
The next day, the seas had subsided somewhat, so we took off sailing to the BVI.  A week later, we returned to St John, as my brother had to fly out of St Thomas anyhow, and I wanted to take him to this great Italian Restaurant ashore.
 
We arrived in town, and all was quiet. The band stage was gone, the vendors were gone, the crafts people had packed and left.  My brother kept asking "What happened?" and I was perplexed. "What do you mean what happened?"
 
He explained by asking "Where are all the people, the bands, the parties?" 
 
"Ohhhhhhhh, well that was carnival week and now it's over!"
 
He laughed a long time and explained that every time the week before when he asked about the festivities, I kept saying "It's a carnival!"  and he thought I meant, living here was like a carnival and that we partied in the streets all night EVERY night!  He thought, man I had it made, no wonder I was never coming home again...
 
Now that he understood it was just a one week fling, it was even more hilarious.  I would love to party in the streets all night every night, but aw shucks, some folks gotta work and sleep, at least part of the year... 



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- Dusty Moon
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 2 Jul 2007 11:54:11 EDT
Beautiful sunny day with scattered clouds. No storms on the horizon. ALl is beuaitful here. I sat out by the pool with my coffee this morning, working on my tan and thinking life just can't get ANY better!
Full Moon Photo Shared by Ken and Lori, taken Satruday night
 
Much of my email lately is from smokers!  Where to smoke?  Well right now, many bar owners with open air bars are allowing patrons to smoke in certain areas. I don't know how this is going to jive with the government when they start enforcing penalties, in a few months. I think they have made a huge mess out of this smoking situation. As many bar owners have discovered, many drinkers are smokers and banning the smokers has plummeted sales.  Does this mean we will have less bars in the future?  Who knows?  On the flip side, some bars have raised their drink prices to compensate for the lost business from the smokers, so now the nonsmokers are paying more to drink.
 
Many open air bars also have open air grilling going on. What about the 2nd hand smoke from that?  What about the pollution from cars in gridlock as one strolls around Road Town?  Just walking around Road Town you hear all sorts of nonsmokers coughing and hacking from the car exhaust.
 
Argh matey!  Where is all this going?  Why doesn't the local government listen to the people?  Um, isn't that an age old question?
 
Today is a holiday in the BVI so beach parties abound around the island!
 
PS, if you live on Tortola and find a car tag, it's MINE!  Yep. My jeep seems to be missing it's car tags!  If someone took it as a souvenir, then shame on you!  I need that t'ing.  Mail it back to me.  By coincidence I recently received an email form someone who wanted to collect tags from the BVI and since we reuse our tags indefinitely, it's hard to come by one. I just hope you didn't take mine, but on the other hand, I don't know how mine fell off so easily, if it did fall off. Wouldn't I have herd a clang and a bang?  I just know it was there one day and gone the next!  ARGH!  My life is getting too complicated...  My car's not legal, I'm not legal, and Lord knows I been trying to obey the rules, fill out the forms and pay big fees and now this...
 
Makes ya just want to go to the beach all day and drink rum!  Grrrrrrrr!
 



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- Breezy
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sun, 1 Jul 2007 13:24:16 EDT
Marvelous weather with threats of rainy squalls. Another tropical wave is rolling off of Africa along with quite a bit of Saharan dust.
 
I am traversing from West to East and back again today, I wonder how may road detours that will involve...
 
This morning I was giving a car-less friend a ride to work, as Sunday  is a very difficult time to hitchhike.  On my way back home, at one of those hairpin turns, I saw a puppy and something didn't look right, so I backed up and pulled over. Yep, it was a puppy chewing on a stick. She was emaciated, and skittish and young. She ran off into tall grass and hid from me, but I could see her peeking out  and watching me.
 
Well, as luck would have it, I had just stopped at a store and bought canned cat food.  So I went back to my heap of a jeep and fetched some cat food that fortuitously came with a pop top type lid. All the while I am talking sweetly to this puppy, as if she would suddenly accept me.
 
I creep back over towards her and she retreats further back, so I stopped and laid the opened can of food in front of me and continued talking to her and making soothing noises. She stayed hidden, so I stepped back a few feet. The most pathetic puppy I have ever seen, a once beautiful creature, came tentatively out of hiding and began lapping up the food and eyeing me and finally she waves her tail a few times. She was really quite cute, but her ribs stuck out something frightfully and she was very weak. 
 
Then two women I had passed walking earlier, stopped by with water and asked me if I was taking the puppies.  I said "well, um, I just stopped when I saw this one because she didn't look right and I had some canned cat food in the car."  They explained that they had seen a littler of puppies in this spot, apparently abandoned, and that they had been bringing them water and one lady, had decided that she was going to take the puppies home and see if she could nurture them back to health and eventual adoption. She had kids and other pets at home and thought it might be a good summer project for them.
 
We did a search of the area and discovered the other puppies were dead (we had all noted the foul odors in the area, before we found them.)   One lady started talking to the puppy and was able to walk right up and pick her up!  I think the poor thing was exhausted from eating her little bit of food, and just didn't have the energy to escape. They announced they were hiking for their health and were going to go get their car and come back for the puppy.  I dug around and found a towel in my car, which I donated.  The puppy was covered in ticks and none too clean. So we lined up her can of food next to her water bowl and left her there.  Her tail was wagging furiously as she began to munch on her dinner some more and seemed to know that her rescue from hell was imminent.
 
They asked me if I wanted the puppy, and I thought the lady with kids, who clearly already wanted it, would make a fine family, so I declined. I thought the love of children could help heal this poor little creature and maybe restore her faith in humanity.
 
We have an overworked humane society here. See their web page here they recieve no government funding but rely on donations.  Today, through the power of concerned strangers, a little puppy is getting a second chance.



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- Cool
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 29 Jun 2007 11:16:02 EDT
Nice and cool today with trade winds and spotty cloud cover. We may get some quick showers today.
 
Last night at Bomba's I heard the strangest rumor about a jeep that drove into the beach and ocean  at Smugglers Cove, without a driver!  Today, I received emails that the jeep has been pulled up on the beach and tied to a coconut tree. I will see what else I can find out about this strange phenomenon. For those of you thinking of driving on the beaches here, DON'T DO IT!  We don't like it and it's illegal everywhere except Jost Van Dyke. I wish they wouldn't drive on the beach at Jost, it just pollutes up the place, but you can't tell dem taxi mon a t'ing, dey do as dey do.
 
Most of our beaches are way too powdery for driving and besides, you might run over a sun worshipper or even worse, a mermaid! 
 
Saturday is the Fool Moon Party. I imagine it will be busy as folks show up to see if another naked dancer strips down... to win a prize. (See report for June 4th)
 
Argh!  For those of you traveling down here and bemoaning the ridiculous high cost of calling home from a payphone, well what you need is a Wireless Skype phone. It works anywhere there is free wireless Internet access, you can whip out your phone and call home  for 2 cents a minute!  You can also call around the island on it for 11 cents a minute.  Go figure...  If you call someone who also has Skype, then your call is free. (See Skype.com for the free download program.)
 
Since many marinas, bars, restaurants etc., offer free wireless, you can now stay in touch at a fraction of the payphone cost and not even have to lug around a laptop. Ain't technology so cool!
 
However, I saw the saddest thing on TV this morning. People in New York, had been camping out for 5 days on the sidewalk to be in line to get a newfangled  iPhone that goes on sell at 6pm tonight.  It costs $500 to buy and $99 a month to activate and I just dropped my jaw, that anyone would wait in line for FIVE DAYS to buy this ting.  Limit of 2 per customer. Am I missing something here?  To me, being a mermaid and all, camping out 5 days on a sidewalk in a city would be pure hell, I would probably do myself in and smell up the place. Is this bordering on pathological obsession?  I don't know that I would wait in line 5 days for ANYTHING. 
 
 



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- Alive and Beautiful
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:45:51 EDT
Just another wonderful day in paradise.
 
I am a little green around the gills, so I'm not real chatty today. But enjoy this picture!
 
Warm and Sunny Regards.
Dear Miss Mermaid
DearMissMermaid.Com



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- We Be Jammin' Mon
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:18:45 EDT
The tropical wave seems to have passed and the sun is out, the wind is up and things are looking gorgeous. I was hoping the rain would settle some of the haze, but that was not to be!  Argh...
 
Called labor department and surprisingly the phones are working again. I also got through to public works to tell them about the  faulty asphalt that was causing 2-wheel drive cars to lose control. Imagine going up a near vertical hill, with the gassed gunned to make it, and then spinning out when hitting the faulty road patch. I also called my friend that had flipped his jeep there and asked him to call too. He said, horror upon horrors, that 3 cars had flipped over on Joe's Hill from the same problem, loose asphalt used to fill road patches on near vertical stretches. YIKES!
 
Not sure what Public Works has in mind, but having MORE wrecked cars on this overloaded island is burden some. My friend who had his jeep picked up by a crane suffered extensive damage when the crane rolled down his windows and used straps through the windows around the roof to pick up his car. What this did was squish his roof up badly. Ugh!  Those bilge drinking rats ought to be keel hauled if not strung up from the yard arm...
 
Life is tough all over. It ain't easy living on a gorgeous island, unless of course you just LOVE the beauty (I do) and don't mind paying a fortune to live here (I do that too!  Um well I MIND paying  a fortune, but there is no choice!)
 
Well, back to labor, I was shuffled around to 5 people then spelled my name 4 times (hey, is this a sobriety test?)  I think I must have got it right each time, as finally my file was located!  I should be legal in a week or two, so that just leaves me country-less for a week or so.   Guess I better hide out real low and lay around the beach, not lifting a finger or working.  A homeless mermaid, in between paperwork...
 
Labor tells everyone to go to immigration and get an extension, and Lordy mercy, now immigration backed up out the door and around the corner, with all these people seeking extensions. This is supposed to be the slower season, so WHY is labor so overworked?  And whhy are they overowkring immigration?  I didn't have time to stand in the 3 day line, so I came home to clean up.  Could it be Labor and Immigration are slowly being buried under their mountain ranges of paperwork they demand?  I mean my renewal was a lot of paperwork. Why can't I just turn in my name and verify what's already on file? They know my life's history and if they need updates, the coconut telegraph will give them an earful.  Why I've filled out forms in duplicate and sometimes triplicate and attach mountains of more papers each year, to tell them NOTHING HAS CHANGED but the date since last year?  My file must be three feet THICK by now!  I probably take up a half drawer of a file cabinet all by myself!
 
Maybe there is a plethora of file clerks who just love this sort of filing. Why use computers when you can have 14,854 filing cabinets to keep everything in?
 
I look around at the work I do at my home office and think if it weren't for my computers and hard drives and jump drives, then I would need a separate building just to house my paper work. Fortunatley, I am able to keep most of it on the computer and shred the rest, so our landfill has lots of fluff!
 
Still, some days I think people are trying to bury me in paperwork. Can you get local businesses to do email billing?  Heck NO!  It has to be paper printed out and sent through our snail mail. And we have real SNAIL mail. A letter from a town Post Office box to another town Post Office box takes 2 weeks. Small wonder our town roads are clogged with couriers delivering checks and invoices and what have you. Online bill pay locally?  NEVER!  That would save too much paperwork and ease up on the chronic traffic snafus, no we would NEVER allow anything that convenient to be here. No way.  Sometimes I think 90% of governments exists simply to create paperwork and FIGHT this computer age. Yep, the computer age is coming to Tortola!
 
Never mind that 90% of our residents do not have an email address. We've heard rumors. The computer age is coming to Tortola and I think everyone intends to fight it by increasing the pounds of paperwork required to get one simple thing done each year.
 
I think when this renewal is through I will put in for next year's too. Maybe then it will be ready on time. Of course that means I have to go pay my Trade license early, as everyone wants  a copy of that these days. Oh the paperwork!  You need a copier just to keep up with the requirements, as everyone wants multiple copies of this that and the other. Yep, they still expect you to use carbon paper here and fill things out by hand.  Well, so much for my ideas. I just don't understand why we are creating tons of paperwork for such a teeny tiny island.
 
AND, if you are up at 11pm, go to channel 10 and watch the Caribbean weather report. I saw it last night and fell out of bed laughing so hard. THey had this old white dude wearing a Rasta Hat with long dread locks attached, doing a dance and giving us the Caribbean weather. It was hysterical. And his graphics mon was slow on the images, and he would keep talking like " and here comes the next graphic, on a slow boat from china..."  then he would do a little dance and "We be jammin mon". Every now and then he would say "Now stay with me, we are almost done, don't worry, be happy, soon as this t'ing arrives on the next sailboat..."  and then he danced more and chatted about the islands. Somehow though, the Virgin Islands was entriely left out. He did weather reports for all islands except us. That was even funnier!  Like we don't know what we are doing anyhow...
 
You can bet I am going to tune to channel 10 at 11pm to see if this dude is on again or not. I need a good giggle and this guy was hilarious. I think he might have sampled some island herbs before hand, he was so blissfully happy with his routine.



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- It's HERE!
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2007 22:53:09 EDT
At 530pm the tropical depression made its presence known by a ferocious downpour complete with gusty winds. Starting  at 10pm, thunder and lightning has been rumbling, grumbling and mumbling along. At 1045pm, rains and winds picked up again.   The banana trees will be sooooooooooooo happy. The gardener did a severe cutting and trimming  of many plants in  the yard, and now everything will burst forth, with renewed energy and  blooms again.
 
I am going to plug out all my electronics, and curl up in my lair,  I don't trust all this lightning!  Argh!
 



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- All Circuits Are Busy
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2007 12:21:23 EDT
Well it's another beautiful day in paradise. Bright blue seas and gorgeous azure skies with puffy white clouds wafting by.  According to the hazardous weather report, we can expect scattered showers and thunderstorms today as the tropical wave passes over us. Well, so far I don't see any evidence of this. But it could change. Hmm.  But my crystal ball doesn't think so.
 
I have been trying to call the labor department and Public Works all morning. Both are government offices. Well, every time I try to call, for over 2 hours now, all I get is a recording "all circuits are busy now, try your call again later".  After hearing that maybe two dozen times, I tried to call 0 for operator. The recording came on  "You have dialed an invalid number, please check your directory or call your operator". I kid you not!
 
Life is such a comedy here!  This is so funny. Am I trapped in a bad sit-com and no one told me?
 
I tell you our communications here are going to $%^&.  Of course I am calling labor to find out if my work permit renewal will be ready sometime this year and Public Works to tell them their ridiculous road repair is causing accidents.
 
As you leave Cane Garden Bay, going west, there is a hairpin turn on a steep section of road. Public Works dumped black tar bits in a section of road as you go uphill, and I hit that and lost control of my car!  There is no traction and the tar bits just fly everywhere.  The car following me, had no idea why I was spazzing out, and he too lost control of his vehicle when he hit that section. To make matters worse, the night before, a friend of mine hit that section and he lost control so badly, he flipped his car over the rock wall and put quite a few dents in his roof and sides.  Luckily he was unhurt.
 
I finally got through to Public Works, but apparently I was talking to Virgin Gorda. She couldn't connect me back to Tortola, because she said, all their telephone lines were down on Tortola. Well, no kidding!  I tried to get her to take a message, I thought this was an urgent matter, but suddenly I was talking to a busy signal!  Argh!  Those scallywags...  Click here to read more about pirates...  They are every where!
 
I learned a new word today. "TERTIARY".  I found it on page 80 of the 2007-2008 Phone book. My phone book fell open to that page.  It happens to list SHELTERS. I presume for weather emergencies. I noticed they had Primary, Secondary and Tertiary shelters. This sent me to the dictionary where I found:
 
Main Entry: 1ter·tia·ry
Function: noun
Pronunciation: 't&r-she-"er-e, -sh&-re
Inflected Form(s): plural -ries
1 [Medieval Latin tertiarius, from L, of a third] : a member of a monastic third order especially of lay people
 
Main Entry: 2tertiary
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin tertiarius of or containing a third, from tertius third
1 a : of third rank, importance, or value b chiefly British : of, relating to, or being higher education c : of, relating to, or constituting the third strongest of the three or four degrees of stress recognized by most linguists (as the stress of the third syllable of basketball team)
 
So I guess it is chiefly a British word, and not being  a Brit, I was clueless, and the Brits out there reading this are probably laughing at my ignorance. Tee hee hee...
 
I flipped back to page 79 which explains about the shelters and offers advice such as "be sure your family is well fed before arrival"  and bring 24 hours worth of food. On the flip side, above that, under suggested Disaster Supplies Kit, they say you should have a two week supply of nonperishable food. Ohhhhhhhhhkay.
 
Which, 2 weeks of nonperishable food is A LOT of stuff!  If you eat one can per person per meal, 3 times a day,  that is 42 cans per person.  A family of six would need 252 cans of food!  Where do you store all of that?  Many of the smaller grocery stores don't even carry 252 cans of food at any given time.
 
I look at my 12 cans of food that happen to be in my cabinet right now and think, oh my, this is going to be dismal eating...  Let's see, a can olives for breakfast, a can of water chestnuts for lunch and dinner would be topped off with a can of beets.
 
Argh.... I guess I better start saving up and stocking up, just in case. If I fully prepare for a hurricane then we won't get one!  Besides, I need some exciting cans like weenies and beanies as a can of jalepenos, just might not be suitable for a meal...  I happen to have 2 jumbo cans of jalepenos, cause they were on sale. Shhhhhhh  things are RARELY on sale on this island of pirates...   So I probably have a year's supply of jalepenos stashed...  ain't that handy.



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- Bump in the night, Scrapes on the fin...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2007 13:03:25 EDT
A lovely day in paradise, though still a bit *cough cough* dusty around here. We have two tropical waves heading our way, but nothing remarkable to worry about.  Chantal (the next name up on the list of storms) seems slow in the making and that is GOOD. Check out the webcams in the BVI to see more remarkable images of the current dust situation.
 
This picture is so surreal!  As if one has landed on a distant planet. The ocean doesn't even resemble water. This was taken with color, but it looks more like gray scale.
WOW!  Went ot the beach and found a message in a bottle:
 
Dear Miss Mermaid
So! You haven't said on your page.  Are you in or out?  I have been logging on everyday with baited breath, wondering if you are going to be homeless or not. 
From the Good Fairy
 
They still have me waiting!  I am in or out as of Monday.  I called Friday, like they told me to on Thursday, called them 6 times and never could get any info from anyone about my status!  Very frustrating. At one point a certain employee who shall remain anonymous, put me on hold for 6 minutes and never came back. I called back again, only to be told he had left for the day.  Is that how he handles his calls?  Puts you on hold and leaves the building?  Argh!
 
Then Lori's Note Washed up in a Canning Jar:
Wow what a great picture of the Sahara dust coming off of Africa....do you know how quickly this dust should reach Tortola?  I think I'll make sure that I have all my Sahara dust drugs with me this trip, that I was given last fall from my allergist, after coming back from Tortola and having all those breathing issues. Is there any web sites that discuss this dust movement and is direction?  Couldn't believe your St. Thomas picture either....a whole lot of dust!!!!  Do you feel that it's gotten worse over the last few years or is it that we are tending to watch this kind of phenomenon more often?
 
I believe the dust is carried over on the jet streams and  trade winds at their prevailing rate. Yes, the dust has gotten WORSE and you can blame it on the SUV's not the camels. As Suv's have flooded the world over, they are tearing through the desert disturbing the sand dust and that stuff in turn come over here!  Here's an interesting article about that phenomenon.  Go here to see a great photo of Sahara Dust Plume over Africa, taken in 1998, courtesy of NASA.
 
Yes, I too must sometimes take medicine for the dust to aid with breathing, I keep a stash of pills in my pocket or purse,  just in case.  Here's an article written June 4th about the Sahara Dust and increase in breathing problems for some people. There are also unconfirmed reports that the dust may contain pesticides and other unfavorable t'ings. Ugh!  Sometimes it is suspended in the air around here, other times it seems to fall to earth and attach to everything. As I look around my house now, I see dust everywhere. Ugh. (Time to go back to bed...)
 
And yet another bottle washed up from Mr Read:
I cant believe that the authorities in Tortola endanger the residence permit of Tortola´s best spokesperson. Nobody there speaks with a stronger voice of the beauties and virtues of LIFE IN THE ISLANDS. than  Miss Mermaid.
If it comes to that, she will always have a home in the Dominican.
 
Well, I may be swimming over there next week!
 
Good thing I hung at the beach awhile, my mail was really piling up, as a French Wine bottle came ashore:
I really feel for you and the frustration of your uncertainty.... Perhaps 'paradise' doesn't last forever!
Luv Frenchie
 
Yes, paradise must be enjoyed for the moment, it could vanish at any moment,  like Joni Mitchell sang "they paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
 
To make matters even more nerve wracking, is my roommates are belongers (unlike me!)  They were born in my backyard from a wild feral cat who never ever wanted to be friends. She was quite sickly and while the babes were still young (maybe 12 weeks old) I took in her two boyz and tamed them to be the best roommates a mermaid could ever have. But if truth be known, they probably just like me for my tuna...
 
It's a lovely sunny day, but it's back to bed for me. I worked late last night, then went out  to give a friend a ride home and I kept running into nice people and oh my goodness, the trouble one can get into on a Friday night at the beach...  Somehow, I cut my fin badly so I am patched up and staying put.  Today the gardener chose to show up and is running a noisy weed wacker and even THAT doesn't bother me... when I am tired, I can sleep through anything, including the time (back in the dark ages)  a car crashed into my front door about three feet from my bedroom window!  I woke up, cause I thought I heard a thud, and imagine my surprise to see a car parked on my porch.  The driver slammed it into reverse and fled the scene, leaving tire tracks and leaky radiator fluids,  across my lawn. The police came and wrote up a report, between giggles.  He was never caught. Imagine me trying to explain to my insurance compnay that my house was invoolved in a hit and run...
 
Warm and Sunny Regards.
Dear Miss Mermaid
DearMissMermaid.Com



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- A Tad Dusty...
  • From: DearMissMermaid at aol.com
  • Date: Fri, 22 Jun 2007 12:12:23 EDT
Bright and Breezy with high level clouds. Forecasts indicate choppy seas, but I don't see anything choppy here yet. One place to get interesting info for the marine weather is Area Ship Reports.    One interesting thing to not is the water temperatures are being reported at 78-86 degrees.
 
The moon is 51% full and expected to be 100% full on the 30th with Fool Moon parties at both ends of Tortola.
 
We have a really thick haze in the BVI the past couple of days. *Cough Cough*.  It shows up in the pool, on your windshield, around your home. It was so thick yesterday, that the sunset was obliterated!
 
Incredibly, yet another bridge has been torn out on Tortola in Carrot Bay. There is now a dubious detour over the ghut on packed dirt spread over drain pipes. The bridge has been jackhammered to fill up the ghut, so heaven help us if we get any rains, Carrot bay will flood as the ghut can't discharge!  I have no idea what this was all about, the bridge seemed fine the other day. One can't go ANYWHERE on Tortola these days without multiple detours. Many say it has to do with the upcoming elections.
 
Definition of Ghut
{ ||Ghat Ghaut } (?), n. [Hind. ghāt.]
1. A pass through a mountain. [India] J. D. Hooker.
2. A range of mountains. Balfour (Cyc. of Ind. ).
3. Stairs descending to a river; a landing place; a wharf. [India] Malcom.
- Webster's Unabridged Dictionary (1913
 
Look at this dust blowing off Africa June 21st (yesterday).
And below are conditions as seen before sunset last evening. This picture was taken from Bananakeet on the Northern shore of Tortola, facing St Thomas. Yep, that is a power boat in the foreground and  St Thomas is shown in  the background.  Look carefully!
 



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